5d ago

Who is the enemy?

557 comments

IT people hate computers.
- IT people hate computers.
  IT people hate users. IT people hate other IT people. We're just a surly lot.
  
  You just made an enemy for life!
  
  I've had the privilege of working with users with actual computer training. Old ladies who started working on terminals in the 70s and 80s. They were awesome, because they actually understood what they were doing. They could give me an accurate description of what they were doing when shit went wrong. They had real concerns and realistic requests for improvement. And they never blamed the computer when they encountered something they didn't understand. They're all dead or retired now.
  Todays computer illiterate workforce is doomed to be incompetent because they don't understand how their main tool works. Nobody bothered to train them.
  
  SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!
  
  true, but we also hate computers
  
  IT people hate people then? Checks out to me actually
  
  BTKAC error
- Correction: IT people hate printers.
  
  Correction: printers hate people.
  
  As a non-IT person, fuck HP in particular.
  
  PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean?
  
  Fuck printers
  Nom one invented a good printer still
- FUCK PRINTERS
  
  ZIP
- IT people hate other people using a computer
  
  I once had to watch a co-worker scroll to the bottom of a list using the little arrow buttons on the end of the scrollbar. Clicking, not holding.
  That's what my hell would be like. Doing IT support without being able to wrench the mouse out of their hands.
  
  I hate my computer as well. That's why I have to modify it to something completely different before I am able to use it for basic text editing.
  I AM TALKING TO YOU EMACS PUT YOUR BACKUPS SOMEWHERE ELSE BY DEFAULT ALREADY I USE GIT
- I'm an IT person and I like computers, as long as they've never been turned on and they stay that way.
- This absolutely applies to me. I’m so sick of computers and software and security and subscriptions and vendors. I just want my own animal sanctuary with chickens and otters and baby goats god dammit!
- Many IT people love computers. They hate computers that other people use.

CS people hate the printer
- …and a lot of them hate the end-user, too. Why must we involve people in the whole computer thing? Isn’t an abacus and a box of crayons enough?
  
  Bold of you to assume the end user can handle crayons
- I work in a print shop and i also hate the printer.
  Fuck you Xante. I hate you so much
- PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean??
  
  No idea, but we treat them all the same. 230vAC to the USB port.
  
  500years of printing and this is the best we got... Smh
  
  It means it's time to take that copier to pasture.
- HP printers in particular.
  
  Weirdly, i don't hate HP printers (at least, the FutureSmart ones). Xerox can fuck right off with all those restarts just to change fucking settings though
- CS IT but yeah. I work in a company with people with masters in CS from Ivy League schools and they don’t understand the first thing about how hardware or their OS works. Common misconception
  
  …which, in and of itself, is sad as hell because one of the course requirements (at least when I was working on my CS degree) was Operating System Concepts & Design.
- Well that is accurate...

Photo editors hate:
- https://youtu.be/EMBkWtDAPBY
  
  I need to sit down and actually watch Red Dwarf sometime. Like I did once watch the first few episodes when I was a teenager but I was way too young to fully appreciate it
  
  RED DWAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!!!!!!!
- Enhance! Just keep enhancing!
- Some of this is absurd, but I feel like a lot of it is tongue-in-cheek stuff or just "let's see how far we can push things into ridiculousness before your grandma notices that something's off".

And anyone in a field related to studying living creatures in nature hate pesticides/herbicides. Because pesticides harm everything that eats the thing that eats the thing that eats the thing that eats the pesticide.
- Same thing with lead shot accumulating in large birds.
  
  Wait, so the lead shots imbed in the animals that eat the lead shot large birds? And again for the animals that eat the animals that eat the lead shot large birds?

Ornithologists hate cats.
- Simple, common bird appreciators too
  
  Don't forget reptile and insect appreciators, we also hate cats
- Cats or people who allow their cats to be outdoors?
  
  Yeah, I reread my comment and it can be interpreted either way, but it is definitely the second one.
  There are also cats that wouldn't even catch a cold, but the issue is mostly with either stray cats or those that are allowed out.
- Me too

Firemen hate pedophiles
Teachers hate pedophiles
Doctors hate pedophiles
Lawyers hate pedophiles
Liberals hate pedophiles
Conservatives hate pedophiles
Independents hate pedophiles
Where's the fucking list Donny? Give us the list you fat orange fuck. We know you're on it, and so do you. How did you think this was going to pan-out, dumbass?
- Conservatives hate pedophiles
  I wish this was really a blanket rule.
  
  It's in that performative superiority-complex way, like Lindsey Graham hating gays
  
  We can put "most" in front of all of these categories. Acting like there are no liberal or independent ones is the equivalent of enabling them. Put them all in prison no matter what political affiliation.
- Conservatives hate pedophiles
  Unless it's their own, then "he's saving a young girl from extreme poverty"/"she's teaching a lucky boy a special lesson"/"was a human after all, no one is perfect".
  
  Shitlibs that pretend Bill Clinton and Joe Biden aren't pedos give me a fucking headache. Also Bill Gates and Alan Dershowitz.
- Conservatives hate pedophiles
  Do they?
  
  Yeah, because they are hebephiles and the pedoes defile the kid before they can.
- Looks like you got downvoted by 9 pedophiles
  
  Or by people that make the difference between pedophiles and pedocriminals
- From what we're seeing in the US, pedophiles hate pedophiles.... at least publicity.
  
  Like bitjunkie said:
  It’s in that performative superiority-complex way, like Lindsey Graham hating gays
- Conservatives hate pedophiles
  Independents hate pedophiles
- Where’s the fucking list Donny?
  So, we're positive there's a secret list now instead of a wild claim out of the right-wing conspiracy hole that Donny played up to undermine the establishment & bolster MAGA votes like the press has been saying months ago?
  I understand it's a convenient weapon to turn against Donny, and it'd be funny if his coalition imploded over an unsatisfiable demand he campaigned on, but they're not here on lemmy, so why is this here?
- *child molesters. Many (if not most) who sexually abuse children are not sexually attracted to children. Many who are sexually attracted to children do not abuse children.

EMS hate motorcycles and decorative throw rugs.
- and anything vaugly shaped like a butt plug but is not a butt plug.
  
  Not with that attitude
  
  Also, actual butt plugs. Yes, they can and they will slip inside to the point you can't get them out.
  
  Reminded me of this post: https://lemmy.world/post/34770628
- Why do they hate the decorative throw rugs?
  
  Slip and fall danger.
  
  Extremely common trip and fall hazard, frequently in the homes of old people with bad balance and fragile bones
  
  Get receive rugs instead, got it
- Agree on the rugs but motorcycles are more of a "I hate people" thing. I'm an EMT that dailies a bike and tons of my coworkers ride too
- Nephrologists love donor cycles though
- Do the floor rugs trip people?
- And post-shit stand ups.
  
  Potty humour?
- and those huge mirrors thar you just leaning against the wall

sysadmins hate end users because end users suck.
- This brought to mind a collection of asshole admin stories from the early internet. With a bit of googling, it was The Bastard Operator From Hell. God, I haven't thought of those since the 90s. I can't believe I could even recall something like that.
  Anyway, fuck users.
  
  They are still ongoing!
  
  That thing spawned so many fucking great memes before they were even widely called that
  
  I just referred to the BOFH in class last week.
  ... Nobody caught the reference but it made me happy.
- The hate is as old as computing.
- Hear hear

Death Star structural engineers hate the waste management guys

Software devs hate users
- Software devs also hate UX/UI Designers.
  And Product Owners.
  And Scrum Masters.
  And Software Architects.
  And Security/Compliance Managers.
  And QA Testers.
  And worst of all... Software devs.
  
  Damned software devs, they ruined software!
  
  Software devs also hate UX/UI Designers.
  I would never be able to explain coherently the difference between UX and UI people. I've only worked for one company that even had a UX guy on staff. He was paid an insane amount of money (close to half a mil per year) and as far as I could tell did absolutely nothing except insist that certain procedures be followed rigorously. He never designed anything at all himself.
  He was the only coworker I've ever had who ended up refusing to speak to me or even acknowledging my existence. This came about because I wrote a TV Guide-type app for Blackberry which our client loved and insisted on having added to their corporate app. The UX guy insisted that no app could be produced unless it was preceded by a formal design document, so he was forced into the situation of having to produce a design document for an app that had already been written, which completely broke his brain. Or rather, he was forced into ordering someone else to do this, since as I mentioned he never actually did anything himself.
  He eventually left because he got a job offer for way more money lol. I guess I shouldn't make fun of somebody who had the system figured out far better than me.
  
  And themselves from a month ago...
  ... when they said to themselves "This little piece of code is fine, I don't need to change it now. I'll just refactor it later. "
  
  Sysadmins hate computers.
- And technology. That’s why they all fantasize about living on farms
  
  Some of us are real go-getters and realize we can bring the farm to us long before we retire! I am currently typing this on my Linux couch computer wearing lightweight clothes with literal dirt smeared on them, on a dinner break before I return to the back yard and continue today's construction project. Sometimes being a "farmer" also means becoming a carpenter!
  Granted, it works much better for the suburban homeowner than anybody living in a city and/or an apartment.
  And when I refer to myself as a "farmer," all my animals are family pets cared for as a hobby. There is 0% business plan. Well, probably negative %. When we have too many animals (usually too many fish in the pond) we give them away for free!

Psychoanalysts hate those blotchy black & white images of my mother's pussy giving birth to my father who is wielding a knife with my name written along the hilt. "Stop bringing these fucking drawings in here!" she yells. God forbid a man have hobbies.
- 😶
- This was just calculatingly unhinged
- You're fascinating.
  Going through your profile, I just had to upvote your comments.

Ents also hate Orcs
- Who downvoted you? Saruman himself?
- It legit took me longer than it should have to realize it wasn't talking about the tree people.

Glass manufacturers hate bubbles.
A lot.
- So do economists!
  
  And phlebotomists!

Structural engineers: fire, water, air and earth. They are like the Anti-Avatar
- Everything changed when the Structural Engineering Nation attacked.

ENTs hate Q-tips?!
That doesn't make sense to me. But, then again, you are very small.
- People sticking Q-tips in their (E)ars and to a lesser extent, (N)oses and (T)hroats.
  
  You're absolutely correct, but op is making a joke about Ents from LotR. A cheeky little pun, if you will.
- HROOOM

Emergency Medicine: Alcohol and/or fireworks
Family Medicine: Wellness influencers
Surgery: Pre-op NSAIDs (eg ibuprofen)
Pediatrics: RFK Jr

IT people hate computers

dentists hate sugar drinks (I'm with them on this one) ophthalmologists hate screens urologists hate themselves
- I thought you meant window screens for a second and was picturing some kind of weird eye injury epidemic involving enthusiastically looking out windows
  
  It's actually almost a thing - in Moscow State University, during world cup a decade ago, lazer show was projected right onto students dorm. Not that students didn't protest, it's just those who did were taken by police. Not to mention that many students had babies, and few were fans of loud noises or football for that matter. Fortunately these people were smart enough to save their eyes. Oh, good old stories from hell.

Funeral Homes hate the Government.
They are incredibly rude to the families receiving financial assistance, it takes 3 months for them to pay us, and did you know that if you don't have a will they cut your step-children out of the process entirely?
We had one gentleman in our care whose only living family was his step-daughter. Because there were no blood relatives and no will the Public Guardian took control of his disposition and the step-daughter had no say in anything that happened with him. Wasn't allowed to keep a portion of the ashes, the Funeral Director had to fight just to allow the step-daughter a brief final visitation.
This is also true for children under 18. Your 17 year old child has no say in your disposition if you have no other living relatives.
Have a will people, if for no other reason than to allow your loved ones to decide how they will grieve rather than some indifferent bureaucrat.
- It never occurred to me that a government would pay a funeral home, but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense for a government to collectively pay for the disposal of human remains, since everyone needs it, and it can't be abused.

Massage therapists hate spray tans.

Chefs hate cooking themselves food at home
- Not as much as they hate cooking for their own children. The greater the number of children, the more true this is.
  
  My friend's a chef and his wife is a picky eater and so are the kids. It's crazy the lengths he goes to to make sure that everyone will eat.
  The way I was raised was that I had to eat everything that was given so I'm kinda blown away at this.
- Someone I'm close with owns and operates a restaurant that puts out high quality food, but at home they mostly live off of grocery store frozen pizza and rotisserie chicken.
- It's easier to cook for others than yourself.
  Eidunno I'm no chef but I worked a bistro. Then went to it. Like people said it's users. Always the user.
  Nurses are the worst to cook for. Like the cops of women. Not all are shit but the ones who are ruin it for everyone else. Entry level job that gives absolute control over the disenfranchised. Of course there will be bullies.
  
  I'm at the hospital as a patient at least once a month. A lot of doctors are bullies, but I've yet to see a single nurse that's so much as rude to me. At most a bit short when they're stressed, but never more than that.
  
  Nurses are not entry level lmao
  
  Nurses [...] Entry level job ...
  Are you sure?

every time i pick a different direction in my career, Donald Trump personally brings about that industry's ruin

Nvidia hates Wayland. :(

Cardiologists hate deep-fried food.
- https://youtu.be/CBv4bO_jC8I 27:09
- Really? I feel like doctors really love all the stuff that they tell people not to do.

Trauma specialist Doctors hate e-scooters
- I have an acquaintance who is learning how to walk and talk again because he hit a pothole on an e-scooter. Wear your helmets, kids!
  
  And bicycle helmets are not rated for the speed e scooters can go. You want a full face motorcycle helmet and motorcycle gloves.
  
  People keep saying they're dangerous but I ride one all the time. I really wish they were as well studied as bikes, where I know the helmet doesn't help that much when you're hit in a collision.

As a psych nurse I hate food and housing instability and the death of thirdspaces. Oh and also the prison industrial complex.

Data scientists hate time zones.

Software engineers hate MBAs. It's like they live in a fantasy world where everything works perfectly and can be done in 3 days and can read your mind.
- That's why those fuckers love LLMs so much. They don't understand anything remotely technical, and it makes them believe they can just cut out the grumpy, uncooperative middleman and push shit code in production they are unable to audit.
  
  Maybe we software developers should use the trick of LLMs, always respond ‘you're absolutely right’, but never do what this would imply.
  Nah, only a tin can can get away with acting this stupid
- I got my MBA almost a decade ago, several years after getting my software engineering master's first. We hadn't started a family yet, and my employer had amazing tuition reimbursement.
  It didn't work on me though, even though there were some interesting systems, math, and psychology to learn about. I am still an individual contributor writing code daily, helping the younger engineers, and growing into my generalist graybeard best self.
  Unfortunately my dark side training hasn't given me much insight that you don't already have yourself, most likely. I guess it's worth pointing out that while most probably live in that fantasy world, there are some smart nerdy people in that world who might be driven to optimize their business like they'd min-max a dungeon crawler build. There's just something else that went wrong along the way, lol.
- they live in a fantasy world where everything works perfectly and can be done in 3 days
  We used to call this the "Powerpoint compiler".

Game developers hate players. They keep breaking our beautiful games and optimizing the fun out of them!
- If your players are breaking your game, try to make a mechanic out of the emergent behaviour
- They keep breaking our beautiful games and optimizing the fun out of them!
  ~~players~~ speedrunners

Programmers hate ai
Psychologists hate facebook....and also ai
Marriage Counselors hate reddit....and also ai

Engineers hate managers.
Remember next time you get a shitty product, don't blame the engineer who designed it. Blame the manager who forced him to do it that way.

Most, if not all, professions in the domain of knowledge creation hate AI.

lab techs hate improperly collected samples. The people who collect those samples often in turn hate lab techs.
- As a lab tech, I feel this one.
  
  I spent years in a research path core and am just wrapping up my med lab certification, it amused me when they hired actors to come to our program and we role-played dealing with angry pathologists, fuming nurses ect... Most of my clients have been MSc students or MD/PHD conducting research. they might be experts in their field and conduct these brilliant studies then stumble right at the finish line because sample collection was bungled or something ruined during extraction. I've seen some "interesting" DIY fixation and processing protocols to save a little money that did the same thing. I always feel so bad but most people are willing to learn and work with us.
  
  Just send it back with a derogatory note telling them to take it again.
- It's never easy to connect samples properly in the field and it's never easy to draw conclusions from imperfect sampling.
  
  I'm in pathology (research, transitioning to medical) so that was my frame of reference here. Its my job take the samples given to the lab and turn them into slides for analysis but tue results are only as good as what I'm given in the first place (crap in, crap out). same with blood draws, urines, anything improperly collected no longer properly represents the thing it came from. Then I have to tell the client that...
- Or bad planners that expect us to do overtime for their mistakes.

Retail workers hate you.

Proctologists hate things without a flared base.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not this way!"

Arborists hate Bradford pear trees. They’re the ones that have white flowers and smell like cum. That’s not even why we hate them though.

Game programmers hate graphical designers.

Software Engineers hate stand-up
- We're lured into a false sense of excitement, thinking it's comedy. Instead, it's tragedy.

Anyone using a phone hates clankers.
There's one automated system I need to call regularly at work that does not give me the option of dialing numbers and forces me to speak to it. It lists the options it can understand, but I can't just press a number to move on. Then it asks me to say and spell my first name, then say my last name (which it guesses the spelling of incorrectly) and pretends to type while it's processing. Why are we doing this?

Linguists hate grammarly
- When Reagan said "no child left behind", he didn't mean grammarly. That halfwit mess is toxic.

School bus drivers hate landscapers. And Amazon delivery drivers, but at least those fuckers move quickly.
We also hate children but I probably shouldn't admit that publicly.

Eye doctors hate bungee cords. Be careful with those! ER doctors hate 4th of July.
- ER Docters hate
  "well it started 6 months ago.... And since then it is more or less present" -> why are you here?
  everything firework related -> you really thought it would be cool to make a firework bomb?
  old people that are dropped by family members on a Friday night and claim the maggots just appeared like 10 minutes ago -> really?
  people who, after a complete workup expect miracles -> really?
  (drug induced) aggression -> look I am trying to help you here dude
  recurrent psychiatric patients that are not treated properly or untreatable -> hey you again, same medication? Wow you were here 7 hours ago...
  .... I think the list might go on and on
  
  Thank you for your service

Accounting:
Intuit products. They mislead people into thinking they are saving money by not paying an accountant or taking a class or two at the community college.
Depending on the situation, it can result in heavy fines and fees when the books or tax returns need to be corrected.

I know q-tips aren't safe or whatever but man it feels too good to stop.
- I bought metal earwax spoons. Sure, q-tips feel great and all, but pulling out the clod of wax actually responsible for the itch is divine
  
  I am way too scared to use one lol. Certainly wouldn't trust myself to use it but maybe I should give one of those services a try.
- Yeah, I am not going to contradict any doctors when it comes to the risks, but for my ears and the way I do it, I haven't ever hurt myself and my PCP says my ears are completely clear at each checkup.
  I think I'm fortunate to have pretty light thin wax though.
- What do you mean, not safe? I always thought "do not use in your ear canal" was just a joke they wrote on the packaging. Like, actually good one, what else are you gonna do with it?
  
  Q-tips aren't meant to go in the ear the same way adult novelty toys aren't meant to go in the butt.
  
  They're also used as cleaning tips for small/targeted applications, especially when you don't want lint from a Kleenex or paper towel lingering. Makeup application/removal and electronics cleaning, for example.
  I think (not a doctor) the ear thing is because if you go too deep you can cause some serious damage, and they can make wax buildup worse by compacting it. If you stay close to the ear opening, and do circular motions to swipe wax away, and clean your ears often enough that you don't get dense wax build up, and don't "double dip" to introduce potential pathogens, then I think they're pretty safe to use? But that's too many caveats for lots of people, so I think ENTs often deal with people damaging themselves with them.
  
  Supposedly they can pack the earwax together which can be an issue.
  
  Makeup removal or cleaning babies, according to the packaging
- They're perfectly safe. Just pinch it towards the end you're using, can't do too deep that way.
  
  I do try to be very careful but sometime overdo it a bit going a bit deeper but not to a point of permanent ear damage. Hopefully...

Psychologists hate cigars
- What did you say about my mother?
  
  takes a long drag
  I was thinking about your dad actually.
- Except Freud who famously loved them

Paramedics hate methamphetamine. And alcohol. And high voltage electrical current.
But we love people who injure themselves creatively.

Whoever is fixing your computer absolutely despises you if you're a smoker. Tar gets everywhere.

Teachers hate parents.
Vice versa
- As a parent, I don't hate the teachers. Other kids parents need to get their shit together though. The amount of homophobia and racism casually thrown around by the other kids is appalling.
  
  Same as it ever was.
  Now playing Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime
- God, wtf.
  We always went out of our way to help the teachers whenever possible. We donated any and all supplies that they asked for and gave them gift cards for Christmas. We supported them actively when they protested for better wages and other benefits.
  What sort of monster would hate the very people who you trust with their own children?
  
  The kind of parents that think their little crotchspawn is an angel and every bad grade is the teacher's fault.
  Don't get me wrong, there are bad teachers (had a couple both as student and as a parent), but mostly are doing their best. Or at least not be purposely bad.
- Got a vasectomy. I broke the cycle yall.

Video game content creators hate reading ( especially controls ).
Edit:
There are plenty of times I'll watch someone play a game and then get confused about how to do something in it because they either don't look at the controls in settings or breeze past it or don't read what a quest entails. They just play on in a braindead like trance and get confused and angry as to why the game that gives you everything you need to know doesn't tell them something vital like a certain control they need.

helpdesk and users

Data (dwh) people hate Excel
- As someone who used to work with "large" (to normal people; 10k-60k rows up to maybe 70 columns) datasets in Excel exclusively, I also hate Excel.
  
  Me too!
  I hate working with other people's spreadsheets.
  Or my old spreadsheets.
  The worst is "can you just add a small feature" to a huge, sprawling, mission-critical, often reused spreadsheet.
  But I love how quick and powerful it is to spin up a new spreadsheet to analyze something or clean up messy data!
- dude you can hate but 80% of "data" still.on excel. I'm in my third global company and people still control things on excel. and 5% power bi (some from excel) hahahahaha
  
  Yep, that's true haha.
  It's perhaps not so much Excel, as much as it's just the symptom of a lot of bigger issues: working without version control, without column validation or access control, limited documentation (not necessarily better in data warehouse but at least the functionality is easily accessible), limited automated testing, etc etc.
  If only they could keep their data for themselves, then ok. but no no, we have to ingest it, and do work on top of it in dwh, and it just breaks so often due to a variety of different stuff.
  
  Wait you mean your organization doesn't use some ludicrously expensive hosted database solution or 3 to aggregate data then instead of natively working with the data in that database it gets exported and transformed on a local machine which may or may not havd backups then ask the database people about weird data quirks coming from the local transformations performed on the data

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