Deleting my certified banger of a comment on WomensStuff because I respect the rule
For those out of the loop, WomensStuff has a women-only rule, where men are respectfully asked to not reply to posts.
I don't like there being forums set to 'public' on open platforms that then say if you aren't in a specific demographic then you aren't allowed to comment. If you don't want everyone to comment then set your forum to private so it doesn't show up in everyone's feed. Yes, you'll have fewer people there, but they will be only the people you want.
Setting a group to public, and then telling the general public that it's actually private, is simply incorrect, and a recipe for a muddled antagonistic mess.
It’s an extremely simple request that literally requires zero work to honor. There is no downside. Keeping it open and easy to find means higher engagement for the community and greater visibility on a safe, inclusive space for women. Feels like an easy w to me.
It is a request in the sidebar/bottom of the page that barely anyone looks at because the vast, vast majority of community rules boil down to 'don't be an ass and no porn'.
I'm not opposed to community rules or anything, but saying it requires zero work is wrong because one has to intentionally take the time to check out and remember the rules or voluntarily block to avoid accidentally breaking the rules. It isn't a lot of work, but it is certainly more than zero.
I blocked to avoid intruding, because of my inability to keep track of community specific rules, so I hope it is successful and supportive as intended. If there was an option to set communities to read only like they are when banned that would be a neat feature.
It’s an extremely simple request that literally requires zero work to honor.
It literally requires every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. Everyone who comes here has to do that, for every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
There is no downside.
There are tons of downsides. All the previously mentioned work, plus all the people who post there and then get reprimanded for it, which causes unpleasant feelings, making people feel excluded from the public space of the fediverse that we want people to feel welcome at, etc i really could keep listing more downsides.
Keeping it open and easy to find means higher engagement for the community and greater visibility on a safe, inclusive space for women.
No, it's the opposite of that. Keeping it open to people who actually aren't supposed to engage with the content means it's always going to be a muddled antagonistic mess.
Feels like an easy w to me.
Feels like an unforced loss for everyone to me.
literally requires zero work to honor.
No true at all. I must at minimum perform the work to stay attentive to the community and its unique rules.
Most community rules can be narrowed down to "don't be a dick" while a women's only community also requires one to not have a dick or have one but be transitioning away from having one.
Have to click the community, and know to check the sidebar, oh fuck are we back on reddit
It requires a change to the whole flow of interaction actually. No other public community requires you to check the rules to see if you're allowed to post at all.
The sidebar also says "this is an inclusive community" followed by a rule that excludes 50% of the planet.
And probably 80% of the userbase of the platform.
Inclusive of what counts as "woman" and what's a valid topic. Come on
How can the 50 percent of new users who should be women find a private-only forum? Feel free to block, no hard feelings.
Lots of ways. If they're interested in women-only topics then all they have to do is goto the searchbar and type "women". And the community mods can even set the community's post visibility to public and set the allowed commenters to approved users only. And a bunch of other possible setups too. Basically the only bad way to do it is to set the forum to public, and then tell the entirety of the fediverse they have to treat it like it's actually set to private
It's not private. It's just targeted to a demographic .
It's not just targeted at that group, it's supposedly meant only for that group to be able to participate, so it should be set to private in the community settings. Being set to public is for a community that everyone in the public can participate in, while being set to private is for a community that only some people can participate in.
Keeping it open means people can find it, and it only excludes men from participating. WomensStuff accepts NBs and transwomen and basically anyone who doesn't identify as a man. Just because it's not for men doesn't mean it's private.
That would be the case if it was private but it's not. I assume the purpose is to allow for visibility on the conversations happening in women's spaces. If you only care to listen to conversations you can be a part of, hide the community.
As i just wrote to another user, in terms of how forums work, it is saying it wants to be private but also public. There is no default setting for that, but there are ways to do it that achieve what you want without breaking the public/private system. For instance you can make the forum public, but set it to only allow comments from approved users.
This opinion is foolish. Just block it if you dont like it.
Why even comment if you didn't read what you're replying to?
so it doesn’t show up in everyone’s feed
Or don't scroll the All feed and complain about / downvote random content you don't like.
I like to read WomenStuff because It helps me to understand the concerns of people who are different from myself, and knowing the rules; I don't mind not posting because that's the rule. So get on wit yo bad self, WomenStuff.
Hell yeah! That’s exactly the spirit of this post.
There's a lot of value in new perspectives. I'm glad its not set to private... but based on this thread, I'm sure the mods have their work cut out.
Apparently, a lot more men need to learn this.
I automatically block communities that put requirements like that on participation. If they don't want me interacting with it, I don't want to even see it. I also don't think it's appropriate for a publicly open forum. Go make your own private thing somewhere if you want to immediately start off as an echo chamber.
I think you just described two things working almost exactly as designed.
You should use block liberally to curate your feed.
Similarly, communities should have whatever rules make sense for them. If that keeps the community small, that might be the desired outcome for them.
I think blocking was the right call here.
How are new women to find it if it never appears in All? Feel free to block/remove it, just as you would any niches that don't interest you and clog up your feed. Or just scroll past, like I do for Linux and gaming and moe.
Yeah, unfortunately I did the same after I got warned off for a perfectly fine interaction.
That's okay. I mean, if you want to open it up again and read it to get a perspective on how women speak when they're in their own space, nobody minds. But if you don't want it cropping up in your feed, that's cool. Obviously the reason it shows up in All is so new women can find it. Being reminded not to comment is just that, a reminder of the rules, and not necessarily a criticism of the content. If women didn't face so much denial of their voices it wouldn't be necessary.
I mean this very kindly but "i don't think it's appropriate" is never a good reason to dictate the actions of others.
I didn't want to see your comment, but that won't stop me from complaining about having to see your comment anyway.
Often find yourself inside many stores you find irrelevant when strolling around town? All those unlocked doors must be such temptation.
The fucking comments on here are insane. It's not a private comm, and pretty much every comment that's been deleted for being posted by a male user was because they explicitly stated they were male. As in started off a comment (usually on women's issues) with "as a guy..."
Go on a linux forum and post "as a windows user..."
Go on PC gamers and post "as a console gamer..."
Would have a problem with being told "this is not for you" then? No, you wouldn't. You're literally just not used to being told it's not your turn to speak. Get over it.
And to those who demand it be taken off all: fucking learn how to curate your own experience. Skip over or block it the same way you would other communities that have nothing for you
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t.
This is a terrible example, because yes absolutely I would indeed consider the mods to be militant over-the-top a-holes if they deleted and blocked all comments just because they were from Windows or console users.
Consider what the word "majority" means and how that impacts the balance of such discussions. Especially on a platform where people vote on each other's comments.
In the Linux forum example, the occasional "as a Windows user..." comment isn't a problem, but it does become one when it makes up 80-90% of comments / visitors. Try to understand how this shapes a community when the relatively few directly affected people (for whom the community was created in the first place) are annoyed by this and stop contributing.
This is why you need both kinds of spaces, and why it's silly and short-sighted to get mad over this policy.
Facts right here. Learn how to let people have their own space. Sometimes a thing isn't meant for you, and that's okay.
Yeah, I concur. When I learned I wasn't allowed to speak there, I simply blocked it and moved on. They can have whatever rules they want. No one is obligated to be there.
On the flip side, I can see it being irksome to click a post and have your comment be deleted because you didn't notice that community it was or didn't read every rule for every community.
I'll wager the vast majority of users don't read community rules until they run afoul of one. Personally, I just shrug it off and move on, it's not like whining about it is going to make an entire community change it's rules to accommodate you.
I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a "absolutely nothing from you, male scum" isn't obvious.
I posted one there yesterday or this morning, haven't checked on it, but it's probably deleted now. No harm no foul. It wasn't meant to break a rule, and they can do what they want. But I would've never even known if not for this post.
But I will be blocking the sub now. Both because I'm apparently not welcome, and because I will probably accidentally do it again otherwise.
Edit: It wasn't that sub after checking. Phew. One less toxic place to be.
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
Isn't the goal to move past this behavior when based on immutable qualities rather than merit? The ethical value of a reverse country club model is pretty controversial.
BS, we had the same argument on Reddit
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
As a nerd in many “year of Linux on the desktop” debates, I welcomed constructive opinions from the benighted fools
As a PC gamer I want to game with my buddies so yes I want the opinion of those on consoles
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
So you're ok with a community defining how it wants people outside its demographic to interact with it?
Also you literally do not have to interact with the community. No one is shoving it in your face or demanding you join and then going HAHAHHAHA PSYCH you can literally just scroll past it.
To add the most blatant and widespread version of "as a man":
"But in the usa...."
You're literally just not used to being told it's not your turn to speak.
I respect their rules on that community as browsing Everything (Sync) it shows up for me fairly regularly and I haven't had any issues.
I reject the part I literally quoted.
I care about precision in communication and fighting against entropic decay in how we communicate so I feel compelled to respond to this quote.
I am a male and because of that I have no turn to speak there so you are flat out wrong. It will never be my turn. It is inaccurate what you are saying.
Please consider reframing what you said.
and using literally there makes your error much more egregious, literally
WomensStuff is trans affirming so the solution is obvious!
On the one hand, boobs, on the other, not being able to pee standing and less rights
You don't have to get bottom surgery, unless you want to.
Having a penis doesn't cause dysphoria in all trans women. You can be a woman and still pee standing up! Unless you're in a public bathroom in a red state.
I've just blocked the community entirely, because apparently I'm not a woman based on... idfk.
Yeah I didn't know about the rule when I replied to a post. I was thanked by the OP, then had my comment deleted by mods (based on username only).
Blocked the community, why shouldn't I if I can't even participate?
Yeah, I'm afab agender, and I've got it blocked too. Nothing they've done to me, just because of past women's spaces saying I'm not woman enough to be there. Like, I was never really taught how to do my hair or makeup because neglectful mother, but I keep running into women that get angry because I see it as a hobby? I'm just too old for gatekeeping, and have zero desire to prove that I "deserve" to post in a restricted community.
They do explicitly allow agender individuals
Man here, I just doublechecked my blocks, and sure enough, respectfully blocked.
Yep, blocked this one. No harsh feelings but I don’t think it’s meant to be public. They should be free to do what they want to do with their space. On the other hand, private would hurt discoverability. I sort of understand where they’re coming from.
Thanks for the no harsh feelings. Blocking is fine. See you in the other instances! (Not a mod, just a woman who appreciates the instance)
Blocked that comm, just so I wouldn't accidentally violate that rule. No sense in getting emotionally invested in a post I'm not allowed to discuss.
Right? Pretty easy solution.
I wouldn't have commented except they made the main feed. I wasn't given a warning I was just banned. That is why I'm pretty sure OP here is lying about what happened. I'm fine with them having their own thing but I don't have feel bad about their agnst. I didn't cause it so I am in no way responsible for their innate hostility.
Had they given me a warning and explained the situation I would have been more than happy to delete the comment and block their echo chamber. Which I did anyway.
I once commented on a pancake recipe post. The recipes they posted were weak but I deleted mine when I learned about the rule. It felt very much like the image here lol. Oh well
I'll try to explain why women want and need a women only space here.
It is actually quite easy and has mostly to do with how many men there are on Lemmy compared to women.
Let's say I post a question on WomensStuff. I might get 10 answers from women and one answer from a very nice and respectful men. So, no harm was done, right?
Well if you allow everybody to participate you will quickly get a lot of "not a woman, but ..." type of answers. The 10 original comments made by the demographic that was actually targeted will be quickly drowned out.
This is how every post is on here. That is just how it is but that's ok. What we want is just one small part of Lemmy where we can talk among ourselves without being overshadowed. Just accept that because our lovely mods will not back down.
If you're tired of seeing our posts, no worries! Just block the community or ask to be banned. No harm will be done and we can continue with our nice supportive community.
Not a woman but- No that actually makes a lot of sense :)
I really appreciate reading those posts, but I have mistakenly replied and had to preemptively delete my post several times now. I wouldn't mind a ban that would allow me to read without making that mistake again.
I saw a comment on a post in the community once from somebody like you who asked politely to be banned. The mods were glad to help and it was a very wholesome exchange!
Everyone knows creating segregated groups ends well
You're being obtuse. Separate men's and women's clubs work just fine IRL. Sports, social, and charity are just a few examples in my local community which are thriving.
Lemmy is like a house party, where everybody has the freedom to talk to whomever they so choose, thus creating segregated groups. If one butts in to a conversation, the participants are free to ask one not to participate, and are free to walk away if one insists. (In this metaphor, the WomensStuff community doesn't even mind if you listen in.) For a house party, though, the host is well within their rights to not invite anybody, or even ask guests to leave. That's a very strictly segregated group.
What's been the ripple of evil from allowing house parties, or companies to pay only a select group of employees, private clubs, family dinners et cetera? Has the existence of the chain of women's-only gyms destroyed men's lives?
Sounds like someone hasn't been with a woman enough to understand she needs time with just the girls. If they're in the house chatting, you can either leave, or shut up and bring snacks. Either way, give them space.
It ain't discrimination. It's consideration, and it's necessary.
If you take that away after reading my comment I cannot help you. WomensStuff is ONE community out of hundreds, just block it and move on with your life.
I've been tempted to reply to a a couple posts in support. But am not woman, so upvotes are enough.
Same, I had to delete my reply when I realized what sub it was. It feels like stepping on eggshells, so I'd rather block even though I'm constantly fighting on the women's front as a gay man. Like, alright, not even allies here, then.
Blocking is as valid as silently upvoting imho. It's not our space, but we can be silent allies.
I didn't even get a chance. Post came up, I didn't check the sub, posted a comment, Admin told me politely to get fucked and banned me.
Based admin helping you out so you dont have to check the sub everytime you want to comment
Not a big fan of an attribute you were born with making you ineligible to comment in a community, but their community, their rules.
They allow trans women. They just want to a space to talk about women things away from men because men tend to say stupid shit when women want ro complain about us.
As I woman, it is finally my turn to say stupid shit
Anyone who thinks they are a feminist and also that women-only-spaces are unfair unwise discrimination is not a feminist and is a bad ally. Kill all men. Thank you.
This post might or might not have been written by a man. Misandry is good actually. Don't be a male feminist.
I consider myself to be a feminist because my axe bites all flesh equally I will shed the blood of not just the men but the women and children too!
BLOOD FOR THE ALLFATHER! SKULLS FOR YGGDRASIL! KILL KILL KILL!
I have no horse in this race I just want to make references to old memes.
Glad to see ragebaiting is still alive and well
Well, aren't the majority of these replies depressing. Imagine looking at a minority group that tries to make a private corner for themselves and going "yeah but they haven't heard my take yet!"
Looks at litterally half the population: "This is a minority".
On Lemmy?? lmao
This has always been one of the top tier funniest meme images to me.
I too have made this mistake 😔
I think I blocked it so I wouldn't do that again
Just block the sub if it bothers you and wipe your mind free. That's all there ever was to it.
This discussion reminds me of a party/orgy/something I saw being promoted and in the description it says that it was female/trans oriented (female and male trans included), but that they weren't going to police anyone's gender, but asked cis males to respect and didn't participate.
You see this more in online LGBTQ+ communities, they are all about inclusion, but when a hetero sis male wants to talk about the subject they aren't the biggest fan of it. Even though we all got to live together? As long as they don't discriminate, it's fine, but still ironic.
Edit: changed my wording to be clearer about what I mean.
You are beeing very vague in what you describe so I wil be as well. If that means I'm talking about something else I'm sory. As a cis guy the way I understand it is, that some spaces meant for internal discussion about problems that are unique to LGBTQ+ people in order to share experience and advice where most people who are not part of the group can't say anything since they aren't affected. Since that is most people hetero peple are not welcome there in general for simplicity's sake. Those spaces are not meant as an Information desk and they don't have to be one since there are other spaces on the internet that can act as that. No one should have to be forced to be an information provider for something they are born with. The same as no blind person is obligated to answer your questions about their condition.
It's not ironic at all. I'm guessing you have never been in a setting that would have benefitted from such a policy.
I don't find it too difficult to comprehend why it's useful to have spaces where minority-focused topics are discussed by everyone, alongside other spaces where the same topics are discussed primarily by the minority in question. Not if you understand what the words "minority" and "majority" mean anyway.
this is a trap
No, no, this is bait
Why are there so many dudes here that can't handle the concept of not sharing their opinion on everything? I think it's valuable to learn to just listen sometimes. A community for people commonly talked over, mansplained to, and not taken seriously should be seen as a good thing. As a cis man, I think there's a lot of value in that for my demographic as well, because diversity is interesting.
Also I think a lot of people are willingly missing the point of this post! Nobody is going to crucify you for accidentally commenting, it's up to you to realize your mistake. Honor system.
I will say that the urge to share an opinion rather than listen is not really based on sex.
Consider that the Father of All Selection Biases is at work here: Of course we'll hear comments, from all the men who can't handle the concept of not sharing their opinion, sharing their opinion of not being able to share their opinion.
Reading over these comments brings me back to why I came out as non-binary, and the gender euphoric boost is quite nice.
It comes with a euphoria boost!?
Oh yeah, whenever I see men whining and complaining about something to do with women, I feel this sense of euphoric calm; this feeling of 'I remember this. I'm not part of that group anymore. They don't speak for me.'
It has a tinge of melancholy afterwards, because I still have to deal with men, yet I feel less embarrassed for myself.
I politely asked to get banned.
disagree with the rules, but ain't my community, I ain't invited, and I will politely respect it.
imagine walking into someone's private party, only to complain that I wasn't invited, and how dare they exclude me!!!
When someone is using the bathroom I expect them to close the door. If they’re letting it all out in public, yes I might walk in
That only really holds if you somehow didn't know the comm/bathroom was occupied.
Unless you the type of person who'd ignore the rather strong, social signs that the people in both the comm/bathroom don't want you to join them when they're in there. In which case...weird.
You might peek into an open bathroom by mistake but you back away and make a note for the future.
You're a cocklooker aren't you bud?
Oh crap!
I checked, and I've made one comment there (deleted by mods myself). Sorry XD
Edit: Turns out, I was the one who deleted it, guess I read the rule after
Easy to miss when it pops up in the all feed every so often. If you're not paying attention you might just do it.
Not a big deal, it's more meant towards preventing the "As a man ... " comments that pile on to tell women that misogyny is all in their heads
Me too. Didn't know the rule. Also that sexist. But hell as man Askwomen on Reddit would delete a post if made by a man.
I pardon you for respecting the rule o7 (wish some other people would do that too, it happens way to often that people post their kinda shitty opinions in the comments)
Clearly the solution here is a publicly seen WomenStuff with whitelisted posters, and an ancillary public community called PeanitsGallery where all talk about the WomenStuff.
What I find interesting here is that this all self identification and self reporting.
There's no mechanism in Lemmy to force a user into such identification, so it is all voluntary.
Yes, the users at WomensStuff are banking on Lemmy users reading the rules and then adhering to them because it’s a respectful thing to do.
Unfortunately, many men on Lemmy have found this too burdensome a cross to bear.
I personally shy away from the idea of binary labels. Whenever you have two opposing extremes, I find hard to believe that someone can be the 100% embodiment of one and 0% of the other. Whether it’s ‘authoritarian/libertarian’, ‘left/right’, ‘straight/gay’, ‘neurotypical/neurodivergent’, or even ‘male/female’, I see all of these as a spectrum. Whenever binary opposites exist, I believe we all fall somewhere in the middle.
To say that someone is 0% man or 0% woman seems to reinforce the idea that these labels are based on physical characteristics, concrete, and/or absolute. If you believe that personal identity is fluid, and that change is constant, then how can you reckon with the idea of someone being 100% either? It won’t be possible to swing upward passed 100%, so the only other option is down; into the gray area and constantly wavering over time.
As for myself, I might have been born with a penis, but have plenty of characteristics that I would not consider “manly.” I strongly prefer to sit on a toilet to rather than use a urinal, I’ve worn a skirt around my home and fantasized about having breasts and beautiful hair, and my Spotify wrapped from last year classified me as a “pink Pilates princess”. I’m absolutely not presenting these to declare myself a woman, but I suspect each of these admissions would diminish my standing as “man”, especially in a non-anonymous environment.
If anyone was ever unsure about their gender identity, experimenting, or just non-committal to a binary gender assignment, I can see how a having another individual assign this black/white classification on them (and banning them as a consequence) would be incredibly stressful and harmful to their wellbeing. With how gray gender identity can be, it is no surprise if someone in this mindset doesn’t push back with a claim of the opposite binary choice than the sex on their birth certificate. I believe this kind of moderation serves to reinforce conservative societal norms and discourage empathy across the gender spectrum.
🫡
“Men don’t feel as deeply as people like to imagine they do” - an idiot who has apparently never read men acting like absolute fannies literally all over the internet forever.
Nice random strawman
This comment perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes
I just want to point out that ITT there are people who simultaneously refuse to recognize how men only spaces are demonized and refuse to back down about women needing women only spaces.
You fucking idiots are the reason the Proud Boys happen. Your thoughts are stupid and destructive in the same way that someone driving too slow on the highway is.
I think I remember that post and said you're correct.
I just came here to say it's a men's world they live in it and many times they hate us for it, but it's the truth.
.
Deleted my comment in solidarity with said rule.
easy self-check for these things:
is it OK for group A to do X? is it OK for group B to do X? ...
if the answer is not the same for all the groups you can reasonably think of, something about your morals is off.
not everyone will agree whether X is OK to do. but at least you can detect, whether you are biased yourself.
imagine the outcry if there was a male version of this LOL
Yayyy, echo chambers! :)
Right... Because a man's opinion is the only thing needed to stop the echo chamber.
Edit: safe spaces are not echo chambers.
Not at all. People's opinions don't mean much anyway, hell not even my own!
If you want a safe space on a public forum, then I highly recommend just making it private.
I have literally seen them delete someone's comment because they ASSUMED the commenter was a man, when they were in the process of transitioning to a women. This led to the person being very confused, and probably feeling like the community wasn't welcoming to trans people. Being so heavy handed with the way they mod their safe space has probably alienated more people than they welcomed.
I just think it's a crappy way to handle things, whether it be men or women. If I ever stumble into a mens only community that is as bad as WomensStuff, I will be sure to say the same thing.
Have a good rest of your day!
i don't get why people... well, men... get so bent up over this. I'm a man and yeah seeing a post you want to comment on but seeing a rule that excludes you is a bit annoying but like who cares.
is an askreddit/asklemmy post an echo chamber if it starts with "botanists of reddit/lemmy" and if the rules forced only botanists to reply? ridiculous.
my input is not needed anywhere, let alone everywhere... i can suck it up and let one community go and do its thing without the grace of my comments.
Let's take your example a little bit further than some plants.
I see a community that only allows asians or white people to comment, and actively deletes any comments with any name that even semi looks like a "black username" or a "latino username".
Would you not call that out as being, well, an echo chamber?
"sorry, pyre, your comment was deleted as this is a whites only community. :)"
It's just not a good look, or something I want to see here on an open source platform. :/
A core part of my values is not excluding people for attributes they were born with. If they're an asshole, they should be excluded regardless of gender or anything else. I'd feel the same way if it were any other born characteristic being excluded.
It's like when I see a cybertruck - I disapprove of the driver's choices, but they had every right to make them.
Every other community is an echo chamber full of men. So leave women their space.
no community is blocking women from posting/commenting tho, I too like comparing apples to oranges, great fruit, both make juice
I just think of Dull Mens Club and how they allow anyone to post there.
The problem with WomensStuff is how heavy handed they are with not allowing anyone who isn't specific enough to post and comment there. Posting, I totally understand. Removing comments the way they do just rubs me so wrong. It's just not a good look.
Oh ffs, I thought that rule only applied to posts and comments going "as a man...". God damn it, I was just trying to make sure my perspective isn't echo-chambered and my one or two comments there were appropriate and being supportive to the women who participate there.
Mia culpa I guess, mods of that sub feel free to go and delete my comments in that sub if they violated the rule because I'll leave it up to your judgement to decide.
What do you mean "if" lol, clean up after yourself.
Yeah, they can be real mean in their locker talk
Any space that is publicly available is a public space.
That goes for the internet, too.
Segregation does not lead to good things.
If it is bad for incels to form men only spaces that inevitably will lead to their bigoted rhetoric being unchecked and validated, then it is bad for any other group to do that based on sex, gender, or race.
I say this as a trans woman, if women want our own space then that space needs to be private. Invite only, otherwise it is a public space
It is public, youre right. That's why anyone can post to it. The rule is if you admit to not being a woman, you get banned.
I'm just here for the bruised male egos. I'm male, and I find the but what do you mean I'm not welcome there comments entertaining.
I'm with you, OP: they shouldn't have to restrict their visibility to avoid a demographic they don't want to have in their community. Women should have a space to talk to women only, if they so desire. Those complaining about it need to realize that places where men are not welcome exist in the real world, and yet there aren't a bunch of dudes protesting to be allowed into a women's change room at the Rec center.
E: Ha, go ahead and downvote me, you dorrito munching TaterTots™. Maybe doing so will make you fill your jar with a Rainbow Dash mini faster
So the main reason why I vocally support feminist and lgbt causes is obviously because it is always the right time to do what is right. But a close second motivation is because I genuinely enjoy seeing how much the "no step on snek" crowd hates it when anyone else tells them to mind their own fucking business.
Fucking exactly. Like, I blocked the community because I almost posted there several times without realizing. I didn't want to make extra work for the mods there, so I hit the block button. That's it, that's all it takes. The community should be public so women can easily find it. Blocking a community isn't an inherently negative thing, you should block stuff that isn't relevant to you. If you're good at remembering that you shouldn't post there and like to read the posts, then don't block it.
Would people be as upset if it was a community for gay men? I obviously can't know, but I don't think there'd be this much furor. Why is this so emotionally challenging for some people to accept? I can guess, but I won't do so here.
Its like attending a big fair and there are thousands of open stages for public discussions. Each stage hosts one of many different topics. A single one (!) of these stages is "female-speakers only". And these neckbeards are throwing a tantrum that this single stage is a safe space for women.
As a straight white cis-man I feel ashamed when seeing other men acting like this.
It's more like that stage only allows women participants. But the stage example doesn't work well because a forum is not a stage.
Either way, I take issue with the idea that a male participation makes a space inherently unsafe. You didn't say it explicitly, but you kinda implied it.
I think this is not only false, but it's divisive and it's a terrible narrative to build that harms cohesion in the face of class struggle.
so can we get a community for whites only?
edit: sorry, forgot about hexbear
edit2: Jesus Christ, it's a fucking joke.
What a horribly stupid question to ask.
Women and minority only spaces exist because white men as a group have historically discriminated against them, including by having men only and even whites only spaces. That kind of history never goes away really, because bigotry is frequently handed down from generation to generation even if some people are able to break the trend.
Source: am white man who can acknowledge reality without feeling guilty for being part of the group that does those things (that I don't do)
Being a man can be anything you want and you chose...this.
not sure if you noticed. this is a shitpost. so I chose to be a piece of shit.
enjoy that little kernel from my nugget.
are the last of the woke derangement syndrome sufferers on Lemmy??
no, they perforate the bowels of the internet like colorectal cancer and feed off the shitposts that you have found yourself in.
If the genders were swapped and you find it a problem then it's a problem either way. Make it private or fuck off.
"HoW wIlL new UsErS fInD iT!?!?!?"
I don't fucking care.
Edit: I made this comment with misplaced anger.
I'm leaving it up a a reminder to be better.
You are the kind of person that makes a no men rule necessary.
A lot of them found this thread which is fun because that’s exactly who I made it for
We must treat oppressors and oppressed the same all the time in order to be fair. I'm a very smart person.
We must treat all members of a majority group as oppressors. I am very intelligent.
"What's in the box!"
Kinda hilarious how the most cis dude thing possible is to joke about becoming trans to gain the privileges of a woman.
This is like the least cis dude thing I can think of
What if I identify as 2 genders?
It says in the sidebar that anyone who doesn't exclusively identify as male can decide if they think a women's community is a good fit for them.
then you need to seek help
Hello this is the TVA. Your opinion has been displaced from time and must be returned to 1942.
I pulled a ban commenting before I knew they were in full echo chamber mode. Nothing of value has been lost. The whole thing though begs the question are there men only places on lemmy? So I can block them as well.
Nothing of value has been lost.
This is true but probably not how you meant.
No, I'm pretty sure its how I meant it. I responded to some post about how they as woman were under no obligation to be polite if a man made them nervous. I'm under no obligation to make them comfortable if they are rude and hostile for me just existing in the same space as them. I have never harmed a woman and for the most part ignore them. I have no physical desire for anyone and haven't had any for nearly twenty years. They can hate me for existing but I don't have to respect them for it. I don't have to make them feel safe.