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I've recently turned 20. What highly specific advice you, lemmy users, would offer me?

A lot of people answering this struggle to understand what highly-specific means. I'm looking to, for the sake of experiment, highly-specific advice that gives a reader clear understanding of what they should do. Unlike the vague advice, on the contrary, that may be too abstract to get implementing it right away.

Inspired by this post but I wanted to change the question a bit to avoid the really vague answers as well as lower the age bar of target audience for the advice.

I'll start with a bunch myself, to give a better example of what I'm talking about:

  1. Read The Art of War by Sun Tzu. Ironically, because this is a post about specific advice, dude wrote a book with vague rules on how to do war, but the way it is worded is ridiculously good. If you take your time to think about the advice, you can find their appliances in the most unexpected fields.

I, for example, have improved my skill in videogames, out of all places, after reading the book. Sun Tzu said "If it is not advantageous, do not move". Instead of rushing into combat, I now consider whether my position, current health, location of health packs etc. work to my advantage. Sun Tzu made me realise team-based PvP shooters give you room to avoid and disengage combat, you can make more impact for the team if you choose your battle and have everything work for your advantage.

  1. Exercises are not just about a lot of dedication, long commutes to the gym, expensive memberships and the fear of being judged by other gym members. 7 minute workout is a thing and it will give you all the benefits at your own home without the need for equipment, and it won't take much time either.
  2. Buy an old used Kindle. For dirt cheap, you will get a device with a good e-ink screen that works without Internet connection, still has decent battery, is light and small. A new thing that makes reading so comfortable will trick you into reading more and books still happen a good medium for sharing information.
106 comments
  • Your 30s will be better. Don’t get hung up on thinking your 20s are prime.

  • Here's my highly specific (hypocritical) advice:

    Don't take advice from Reddit or Lemmy on any important matter. You don't know these people, and they don't know you. Some people have good ideas. Most don't. The ability to think for yourself and determine what's best for you is the best skill you can have. A review from Lemmy or Reddit on a product is fine. Life advice from internet strangers is almost always garbage.

    Here's some more highly specific meta advice: Change your socks every day. What the fuck people..

    • Also listen to that other dude in this thread that mentioned dental hygiene. That's bangin' advice.

  • Mimimize social media usage.
    Start a pension fund.
    Study. Get a higher education or professional qualifications.
    Exercise regularly.
    Take care of your dental hygiene. It's costly to fix.
    Find a companion to share your life. Human or animal. Having to make compromises because you have someone depending on you is great.

    Don't be a selfish prick. Show compassion and caring to your near and dear.

  • Floss, brush your teeth daily and see a dentist at least once a year, eat less sugar and cut out soft drinks. Nothing worse than in losing or nearly losing one or two teeth in your 30s or 40s. Even without cavities, if you don't take care of your gums, you can lose perfectly healthy teeth because the gums were eroded away.

    Do some weight training and keep up an exercise routine ... you can easily build muscle tone over the next ten years, after that you have to work a whole lot more to gain the same amount of muscle tone.

    Eat less and eat healthy ... learn to eat better and just eat less but better food ... the sooner you learn this, the longer you'll keep the habit and the longer the habit in your life, the longer you'll live and the longer you'll live healthier. What's the sense of living to 80 when you end up sick and unhealthy for the last 20 years of your life?

    Read, read, read ... read the classics, read history, and read as much and as often as you can to fill out your knowledge and awareness of as much as possible.

    Do all this now because you will never gain the time to do it all later.

    Never assume that you can do things when you're 30 when you're 40 or when you retire because those times will either never come or when those times come, you won't have the time or you will have so many other priorities that you won't do these things anyway.

    So do all these things now while you can because later may not arrive or when it does, it won't be like you imagined it would be.

    • Thanks Baz Luhrmann

    • Sadly I already got a cavity at 15.
      I don't know whether to blame myself for that or parents. I even asked for toothbrush several times, but never got. I wanted to go to the dentist as I wasn't there for years, but one of my parents would have to make the appointment, so as I said, wasn't there for years.

      At least I have a good dentist. Apparently she's not allowed to do anything without parents permission until I am 18 for some reason, but she's helped me anyway.

  • When it comes to buying furniture: Get secondhand furniture handed down by relatives, or found at thrift stores, Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, garage sales, whatever. It's more eco-friendly to buy stuff that already exists, it'll probably cost less than brand-new furniture, and the older stuff is sturdier than anything you're going to get at Ikea.

    With the money you save buying secondhand tables and drawers and such, buy a GOOD brand new mattress. You can cheap out on a lot of furniture, but never cheap out on a mattress. Decades from now, your back will thank you.

  • learn HOW to drink.

    drinking isn't just about finding out how much it takes before you black out. AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S SAKE, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE. if you're gonna drink, arrange transportation, or stay where you are.

    also, read the Hagakure. there's some good stuff in there.

  • Whatever you want to do in life, start right away.

    • If you want to start a business, start developing it and putting the pieces into place as soon as you can.
    • If you want to be a artist/musician/writer/etc, take yourself seriously and start gigging or creating right away.
    • If you want to reach the top of the academic pyramid, study more than what you're assigned and start developing your ideas.
    • If you want to be involved in politics, then start getting involved in politics.
    • etc...

    I'm not saying this because it'll be too late if you don't, or anything like that. It's never really too late to change course or start doing what you want.

    But don't wait until you're finished school. Don't wait until you feel "ready". Dispel is the idea that you're still a kid or that you're just going through the motions until your life really begins. Life is now. So, plant the seeds of your future as soon as you possibly can.

  • Get a good, ergonomic mattress, don't spare expenses. It will pay off in a decade when you'd otherwise start getting back pains.

  • Make note of your friends phone numbers, emails and addresses (not just via social media), especially the ones from earlier years, and keep track of them with regular calls, notes or visits. Forty or fifty years from now, after the cycles of graduations, weddings, babies, moves, etc. you'll have some golden relationships.

  • If you grew up with trauma (or even if not) and have anxiety and stress get that shit under control now or it will lead to painful chronic illnesses after 30. Read about ACES and learn how to manage stress now.

  • If you have any issues (like mental health or physical health) that you feel you should address, do it. I didn't address my mental health problems until I was almost 30, yeah I should have definitely done it sooner. I also didn't really start fixing my teeth until my mid to late 20s, yeah I definitely should have done it sooner.

    If you don't currently drink alcohol, don't start.

    Edit: Also if you do drink either stop or learn to drink responsibly. You want to do that earlier rather than later as the conversation with a doctor that you'll die from drinking sooner rather than later isn't a fun one.

  • Learn when and how to properly rest. It's easy to burn out for things that end up being not that serious. Prioritising your health and wellbeing is for the long run.

  • Don't think you know it all. It's extreamly common to see young people being confident and cocky, despite having almost no life experience. Understand the enormous value of listening to people who have been in your shoes before. Almost everyone you see was your age before.

    And with listen, I don't mean "do what they say". Just listen and think about what they say. Maybe they are wrong. Maybe not.

  • If you can be a good boy/girl, get a credit card. Start with something that returns actual value, like a grocery store card or gas card. Something you can use for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING and then use the points or cash-back or whatever on necessities. Pay your bills with it, buy your groceries, use it everywhere you can.

    Now, here's the important part: pay the statement balance IN FULL on or before the due date. If you pay the statement balance every month, you're basically getting a short term, 0% interest loan, and building your credit score at the same time.

    Oh, and never get a credit card with any kind of annual fee or membership requirements. And when I said useful, I didn't mean the Belle Tire card that gives you discounts on tires. WTF Belle Tire, how many tires do you think I'm going to buy?

    In case you missed the part where I told you to pay off the statement every month, here it is again. Pay off the statement every month. No excuses. If you can't pay for something in cash, don't buy it with the card. Once you miss a payment, they start charging that ridiculous interest rate on everything you buy on the day you buy it. Once you miss a payment, you must STOP USING THE CARD until the balance is zero.

    But if I find out you're carrying a balance, I'll find you and kick your ass myself.

    • Note, this advice on credit score only applies where positive credit ratings are a thing.

      Countries that rely on negative credit ratings dgaf if you paid off lots of stuff so there's no point.

      In New Zealand for example a high credit limit could negatively affect the amount you can get for a mortgage.

  • Don't be afraid to be average. There's nothing wrong with high aspirations and if that's what you want then go for it but down the line should you realize that the effort you've put in has not brought the future you may have hoped for please don't beat yourself up about it. Not everyone needs to be the best in their field or a CEO or whatever it is you want to do. There's no shame in being mediocre in your career. As long as you can provide a comfortable life for yourself and the people you care about you've succeeded.

    I find that this mentality helps me especially because while I do want to be exceptional I am not at all afraid of failing in that goal. It's significantly less stressful.

  • Find time to talk to people in person, at least the ones that are close to you. Just go with them for coffee/snack/beer and talk without the aid of technology.

    EDIT : Make it a rule to have coffee/snacks/drinks only in company of real people.

106 comments