Synapse looks like its using 200M right now. It jumps to 1 GB when being heavily used, but I only use it for piefed and a couple of other local rooms. Honestly its not doing so much for us so we were thinking of getting rid of it. Its irritating to keep having to set up new devices and no one is really using it.
Peertube is much bigger running around 500MB just doing its thing.
Its a single family instance.
# ps -eo user,pid,ppid,cmd,pmem,rss --no-headers --sort=-rss | awk '{if ($2 ~ /^[0-9]+$/ && $6/1024 >= 1) {printf "PID: %s, PPID: %s, Memory consumed (RSS): %.2f MB, Command: ", $2, $3, $6/1024; for (i=4; i<=NF; i++) printf "%s ", $i; printf "\n"}}'
PID: 2231, PPID: 1, Memory consumed (RSS): 576.67 MB, Command: peertube 3.6 590508
PID: 2228, PPID: 1, Memory consumed (RSS): 378.87 MB, Command: /var/www/gotosocial/gotosoc 2.3 387964
PID: 2394, PPID: 1, Memory consumed (RSS): 189.16 MB, Command: /var/www/synapse/venv/bin/p 1.1 193704
PID: 678, PPID: 1, Memory consumed (RSS): 52.15 MB, Command: /var/www/synapse/livekit/li 0.3 53404
PID: 1917, PPID: 645, Memory consumed (RSS): 45.59 MB, Command: /var/www/fastapi/venv/bin/p 0.2 46680