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How did you settle on a name?

I recently came to the conclusion that I was definitely supposed to be a woman (yay me). But I've spent the first half of my life trying to suppress that thought, that I hadn't put much thought into what I'd like to be called.

I'm trying to find a name which would suit a relatively butch lesbian with a mischievous personality who was born on terf island to boomer parents in the 80s but also works in Scandinavia. My given name has a female version, but it sounds weird for a Britt.

What made you settle on your names?

41 comments
  • I actually knew what my name was going to be more than a decade before I transitioned. The first time I had ever heard it I sort of latched onto it, somehow I never met anyone else with the name (it's not a particularly uncommon name) but it always stuck with me.

    So when I started thinking about socially transitioning it was sort of a no-brainer, it felt like my "real" name had been there waiting for me all along. I know that must sound trite and cliche and not at all helpful but it was a really affirming moment in the process for me.

  • I also went on those "baby name by year" sites for my birth year, but I purposefully went to the 100-200ish range since I wanted a name that wouldn't stick out too much, but also wouldn't be so common I'd know or meet a bunch of other people that shared it.

    I also had a few other things that would be nice but not necessary that I wanted the name to have, so when reading down the list I had a smaller number of names to consider. One just jumped out at me though, so I tried it out for a bit and ended up sticking with it.

  • I looked up names with meanings that spoke to me, then when I had a few I asked my bestie to help me narrow them down. She also made a gender neutral nickname out of my first name, which is what I usually go by. I love that I get to use a name she picked!

    You might like my middle name, it means "island goddess", but most English speaking people have no idea how to pronounce it lol

  • Tried a few out before landing on my name. I went by another name for a couple months that just never really felt right. Then I found my name and every single person in my life was like "it's perfectly you". People still say that after they've known me for a while haha. I'm pretty sure I found the actual name just by scrolling through a name list. It jumped out at me right away and I was really really happy when I told my friends and they first started using the name for me.

  • I actually always knew my name, so that came naturally. But my middle name took a lot more consideration and I ended up settling on one shared by two video game protagonists that inspire me lol.

  • Was high, and reading the journal. Phased on the name of somebody and then choose.

    It was like "Yeah... this one, I like it"

  • After having made several hundred while in character creators I was able to choose one pretty easily.

    I'd personally recommend thinking about a character that you can make yourself and want to be as this thought experiment's no different to thinking about the person you want to become rather than are🫡🏳️‍🌈🍀


    What made you settle on your names?

    I chose a name that I felt best resonated with me and screamed "Yes that's me!😉✨"

  • I am no-contact with family and hated my given name, so I didn't have the option of most of the suggestions here.

    I went through a list of names common in my age group and birth area and stripped out the ones I didn't want for initials. Then I bounced them off my spouse until we got a short list. I asked those who knew I was out to use them, and put them in as my preferred name for appointments.

    It turns out all that work was pointless. We had a random night where we were doing something completely unrelated and my spouse said something that I misheard as my new name and it just stuck! Now my legal paperwork is done and I am just waiting for the courts to finish their side of it.

  • I used to use a (female) nickname for anonymity sake on the internet sometimes and it kinda grew on me...

    Since I liked both that nickname and by dead name somewhat, I decided that I'd try a mix between the 2 names and it sorta worked but I was never really convinced. That was until I was going through some old google accounts of mine and noticed that I had a profile pic of a character from a game that I really liked and was incredibly similar to the mix between my nick- and dead name (and could be considered gender neutral).

    The only issue was: since it's a very uncommon name, not only did no one know how to spell it, there was also a very good chance that the responsible government agency for name changing stuff would outright reject the name because for some reason you can't have a uncommon/strange name (the rules are extremely vague).

    So while that game char name grew on me for a year, I basically had to come up with the name that I actually took within like 2 weeks because of other regulatory issues...

    So I picked a pretty common name where I can say "oh, please use [game char name] as a nickname". Don't get me wrong, I quite like the name I took but especially with friends/family it just feels way too serious in comparison. With most people even at work I go by the game char name as a nickname tho and I love it ( ᵔ▽ᵔ)

    Edit: I also thought about using the female version of my former middle name - Valentina, but I have too many bad memories of getting made fun of my former middle name... Now that I think about it tho, I might add Valentina back as a middle name in the future

  • Name was honestly not that difficult in the grand scheme of things. Like yeah it took months and I was on hrt before I decided on a name but I already had an idea.

    I just took my old initials and found names that came from a similar part of the world. From there I slimmed the list down based on their meanings/translations. I do think that if I had done anything different I'd have a different middle name just because the meaning is kinda an insult even if it's not directed at me. I think that takes power away from the process.

  • I asked my brother what his name would be if he were a girl and he didn't have a solid answer. He then returned the question and I realised I did and I was 100% sure about it which I did not actually see coming.

  • I wanted to keep my initials for practical reasons. And when in an unrelated conversation the name Tamsin came up I was just smitten with it :)
    It sounds playful, is a feminine version of my birth name and doesn’t end with an ‘a’, which for some reason is something that I find important.

    My middle name is a straight up female version of the old one with zero creativity :)

  • Hi, I was also born in the UK in the 80s, but I don't live there any more. Did you read any Enid Blyton growing up? I always liked George (Georgina) from the Famous Five books. Perhaps shortening it to Gina instead would work for you.

    How did I choose my name? Er, my wife suggested it and I thought "yup, that'll do" :3 There aren't a huge number of names that work in both English and Japanese.

41 comments