Sounds like the most sensible option
Sounds like the most sensible option
106 comments
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When was the last time you saw a possessed Linux system? Don’t worry I’ll wait
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my Linux has dæmons all over it
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The good dæmons compete with pathogenic bad dæmons, and are essential for the computer's health.
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All my Linux systems are possessed by daemons
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Every linux comes with perl and bash, possession is a single script away
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Stupid Linux Guy doesn't realize that by installing Linux, you install even more daemons on your machine!
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Just because they're daemons doesn't mean they're bad or malicious. Assuming they are is racist.
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Install FreeBSD
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Nah we know its just that all the demons end up clogging up the pc portal and all of them trying to enter at once end up blocking each other
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It's a ddos attack: demon denial of service
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indestructable
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You can probably configure the demon in Linux
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demonctl stop hellfire demonctl disable hellfire demonctl enable regular-fire demonctl start regular-fire demonctl set --force body-type=human horns=2 eyes=2 tongue=forked skin=red demonctl add --object electric-guitar demonctl speak "play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls"
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How do I daemonize my demon?
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Honestly TempleOS might be the way to go on this one
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my arch laptop with i3wm is riced to look like temple OS.
god loves elephants, and so do i.
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my arch laptop with i3wm is riced to look like temple OS.
Yoo, let us get them dots
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This is like 99% of Lemmy users.
"How do I fix this issue with my computer?"
"Have you heard of our lord and savior FOSS?"
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would actually solve 90% of problems.
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Literally saw this on Mastodon yesterday.
"How come emailing a document to myself is still the easiest way to send something to another device?"
"Have you tried using Linux?"
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I mean they aren't wrong. KDE connect on phone and PC is a game changer. GS connect if you use Gnome Desktop. Not only can you send a file instantly, you can also copy your clipboard between devices, answer SMS on your PC, or have the phone pause your PC media when the phone rings. Its amazing. There is a windows version but it doesn't work properly.
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Is it? With the advent of cloud storage, it seems that is the easiest way. Any cloud storage, any OS, its the concept of cloud storage that solves this problem.
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I think such circumstances require TempleOS.
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I am running Ubuntu Santanic Edition
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it's true though, specificity TempleOS
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B-b-but TempleOS isn't Linux!
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It has a compiler and lets you talk to god. What more do you need?
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I just pictured someone throwing pages from the manual on it going "THE POWER OF LINUS COMPELS YOU!" Yeah. I'll see myself out.
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In the package, there will be a large square of herb-scented paper. This is the entire code for VüDü. Fold this paper into an origami shape resembling the animal you're installing VüDü on (see also Appendix II). There are folding directions for common animals in the box. Make a hollow inside your paper badger and add a little more blood and hair from your animal.
Don't lose the paper; replacements are expensive. There are recipes for homemade paper on the Web, but getting all the information correctly transcribed is a huge task, as this must be handwritten; furthermore, the requirements of herb collecting, drying, and curing are formidable.
Some man pages are more suitable than others.
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Best way to kill -9 a daemon 🤷
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I'm inclined to believe that's normal Windows behavior at this point...
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I'm sure you have no ulterior motives on this subject, maxwells_daemon.
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Demons prefer FreeBSD
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Install TempleOS to sanctify your computer and rid it of demons once and for all.
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FreeBSD might make sense here too with Beastie. Just lean into it
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On the next episode of Unix surrealism ...
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systemd keeps daemons under control, the computer will be fine with Linux.
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Nothing wrong with just suggesting Linux tho. And the satan part is obviously just a nice goodie of your PC.
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Exactly! More proof it runs on a huge variety of hardware
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If you install Linux properly you'll get the experience with spirits you'll need.
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$ sudo systemd-inhibit lucifer
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Demon: What the fuck, how to I install Chrome, what the heck is a tar gz? Fuck this I'm out
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there are other demons? and they're invisible?? What if they grow superteeth on my CPU teeth? dot deb? how do I run a dot deb? "man top"? "man mount"??
fucking hell looking up manual pages kills me every time. i run mint btw
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Linux doesn't have this? Man, I guess I'll stick with windows. That shit is metal AF.
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I think HellOS comes with demonic teeth drivers right out of the box.
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Sounds like a standard windows 11 install to me?
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Gotta keep those daemons at bay.
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Don't worry. Systemd will absorb them all. One to find them, in darkness to bind them...
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The demon is Bill Gates fueled with the tormented souls of Microsoft employees that just got layed off. The solution is to print out a few Arch wiki pages and a usb stick (with Arch) and say "the power of Torvalds compels you" until the PC is once again pure. Than keep your PC pure by avoiding absolutely proprietary software and always praying to Tux for more features.
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Hence freebsd was born.
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I mean, the graphics card issue sounds like a Windows virus to me, so probably would be fixed with a Linux install.
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sudo apt purge demon -y
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May the power of Ubuntu Christian Edition compel him!
https://distrowatch.com/table-mobile.php?distribution=ubuntuce
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Because Linux is so effective that the GPU temperature tops at 69, which is nice.
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The demon is Microsoft's AI
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Clippy sharpened to a spike
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Hail satan! Linux FTW
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Sounds like something windows would do…
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He's not wrong.
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Also,
Tech support: try turning it off and back on
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This is true because Linux users know that daemons are something that you can rein in and perhaps restart on occasion.
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Tell me it wouldn't work, though!
LOOK ME IN MY FACE! I bet you can't.
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sed s/demon/daemon/gThe install is complete.
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Your computer wants to be possessed by Daemons sir
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Daemons > demons
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Ok, but imaging playing one of the new Doom games with that set up:
Action starts to get intense.
The tension, and temperature rises.
Suddenly, a whisper at the back of your mind "hail satan hail satan hail satan"
As more enemies appear, and the temperature rises, it becomes louder, pulsing in your ears. Somehow a whisper that is now shouting.
As you cleanse the demonic filth, the chanting subsides and stops, bringing a measure of peace, at least for the moment.
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Hell yes
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The machine spirit yearns for linux
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The HOLIX community might be your place of salvation.
HOLIX, the operating system for those holier than thou. The true and only OS. Come to HOLIX!
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Well… the satanists I’ve met definitely seemed like a Linux crowd, so it’s not the worst suggestion prior to sacrificing a goat or something of that nature.
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Pleasantly surprised seeing tpwrtrmnky here.
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Good move, now the demon can't get a wi-fi connection.
106 comments