Makes you think

We bought this run-down house, my boyfriend and I. While he started working on converting the kitchen into the main bedroom, I insisted on removing the old wallpaper. The previous owner papered every wall and ceiling in the house! It’s a lot of work to remove, but it feels so good to get rid of it. The best feeling is getting a long peel, like when your skin peels after a bad sunburn. I turned it into a game, on the hunt to rip the longest piece possible.
I noticed there was a person’s name and date under a corner section of paper in every room. I couldn’t help but investigate and Googled those names. What I discovered left me speechless. The names all belonged to missing people, and the dates matched the day of their disappearance! We notified the police, who sent the crime scene team. I overheard one of them say, “Yeah, it’s human.” Wait, what’s human? “Ma’am, where is all the material you removed? This isn’t wallpaper.”
- Oops, already ate it. Sorry, didn’t know it was evidence.
  
  you know, in a day and age where it's wearisome to accuse one's neighbours, i still find it surprisingly easy to tell my friends you're a scoundrel.
- debunk: would be too expensive, plant fiber is orders of magnitude cheaper.
  
  Another debunk: human skin wallpaper would be irregularly shaped, so it wouldn't have "corners" to write names and dates under. Also, it would be a lot more than one victim per wall. Also also, I'm pretty sure it would look profoundly weird and not like normal wallpaper at all.
  Nice foreshadowing with the bit about peeling a sunburn, though.
  
  If you already have some spare skin you can at least use it for somethimg. You wouldn't eat that anyway, and mom will be happy for you remodeled the kitchen!
  
  it puts the fiber on the walls or it gets the audit again
- If you have not read it, I recommend you this short comic: https://emcarroll.com/comics/faceallred/01.html
  Same dread feeling...
  
  Thanks for this recommendation! You know some places where I find more of this?

Two courses of action.
You detain and tie up the Ramirez already inside, just in case. Then you let the Ramirez outside in and do the same. You proceed trying to figure out what's going on. Who is the real one? Problem with this scenario is now you 100% have the fake one inside with you.
You detain and tie up the Ramirez already inside, just in case. You leave the one outside to die. Unethical, but now there's only a 50/50 chance the one inside with you is the fake one.
Alternate option if you're feeling really unethical is you just instantly kill the one already inside and also leave the one outside to die. Technically the safest option.
- Alternate option if you’re feeling really unethical is you just instantly kill the one already inside and also leave the one outside to die. Technically the safest option.
  Kick out the inside Ramirez and let them fight to the death. The winner is the fake one.
  
  Won't someone please consider a time travel option??
  
  And if he floats, he's also a witch.
- You look yourself at the mirror: You are Ramirez
  
  No.
  
  No, Ramirez, you are the demons
- Everyone knows the correct answer is the alternate option, but the first one makes the initial drama and sets up the opportunity for a movie to happen in the first place.
  
  Coming soon to theaters: Among Us
  
  Of course it is. Until Ramirez is your child.
- Oh I've seen this one.
  You tie them both up. Set them down on a couch next to each other. Get each of their blood into a dish. Then you take a flame thrower, heat up some metal and apply it to each dish of blood. Easy.
  
  And then your buddy with the working flamethrower stands there like a total moron and gets killed for it.
- Or you’re in the Trump regime and deport both Ramirez’
- If the non-ramirez entity has any sort of offensive powers, trying to kill or restrain it might yield a worse outcome. Like, you try to tie up the one inside and it decides the cat is out of the bag, so it bursts out of its skin suit and strangles you.
  
  Was gonna happen eventually anyway tho, no?
- If theres one thing I know about aliens, its that the whole ship needs to burn in orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
- You obviously remove the Ramirez with the goatee.
- No you put both of them outside and then try to resolve it. Then no matter what happens the station is still ok. They both have comms, nothing is gained by letting either in.
  
  Put Ramirez out in space with his mysterious doppelganger? Quite a dick move!
- Kill them both. I'm actually Ramirez. The creatures don't understand names.
- Blow the inside-Ramirez out the airlock, give the outside one some company. - The good ending. :)

Not far off from the plot of the 2009 film Moon
- Quite far off from the plot of the 2007 film Shrek The Third though.
  
  🌈✨⭐
  These are the insightful observations I keep coming back to Lemmy for.
  
  What do you mean? Doesn't that imply there's three Shreks? Sounds pretty close to me.
- Such a great film. And a great piece of commentary on how capitalism treats employees as disposable assets.
  
  Sci Fi often skews left, doesn't it?

Amogus
- IS THAT AN AMONG US REFFERENCE??!!
  ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I think it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 c/amongusmemes c/unexpectedamongus c/expectedamongus perfectly balanced as all things should be c/unexpectedthanos c/expectedthanos for balance
  
  Your post is bad and you should feel bad.
  
  I got a good laugh. Username also confirms based status. You may pass with an updoot, n'wah. :p

Lock one in the airlock, and confine the already-in one to quarters. If Outside Ramirez is bad but can't defeat the module's external shielding, this isn't a good plan. This has the downside of bringing Bad Ramirez to Earth but the upside of not forcing Either Ramirezs, good or bad, to fight for their life. Anyway, fucking love this. Thanks for reminding me of the horror of a Second Ramirez.
- I vote to space them both.
  
  One of them is already spaced, the work is already half done

Ramirez sus
- Do you mean lime Ramirez or DG Ram-
  VOTING ENDED

Red Dwarf - Psirens (1993)
As KRYTEN and LISTER head for the cockpit, the airlock monitor fizzes on again and a SECOND LISTER appears on the screen.
LISTER 2: What the hell are you doing taking off when I'm still outside? Let me in.
KRYTEN double-takes between the LISTER inside and the LISTER on the monitor.
KRYTEN: I'm afraid, sir, you're already here.
RIMMER steps down from the cockpit.
LISTER 1: He's a Psiren -- don't let him in. LISTER 2: For god's sake -- I can't hang on any longer. He's the Psiren. Let me in! RIMMER: What do we do? KRYTEN: there's no way to tell which is which. We have to let him in. RIMMER: That means we'll definitely have one Psiren on board. A brain- sucking psychotic temporal lobe slurper. KRYTEN: There's a fifty per cent chance we have one on board already. We can't risk killing the real Lister. I'm letting him in.
- Are you telling me that if you remove the laugh track from red dwarf… you lose a comedy and gain a sci-fi/horror/drama?

I’d get the rest of the crew near or in the module and discuss the next course of action.
- "Ramirez. Suit up. You're gonna go out there and you're not coming back in until there is only one of you left."
  
  First Ramirez to take Burger Town gets let back in

- "To be honest with you Diane, I'm surprised"

What is a clickhole?
Edit: looks like it's a Cracked style website.
- It was a website from The Onion that parodied crappy content sites like BuzzFeed, Bored Panda, etc. It was sold to Cards Against Humanity in 2020.
- I miss cracked D;

Bad day to be one of the Ramirez's

This is referenced in Warframe in a couple of ways at different points in the game. For example: You have a kinda schizophrenic ship AI, and while you're floating in space he says this sometimes:
"KNOCK KNOCK! ...Now who would be knocking all the way out here?! Operator, I don't think you should answer that." (Here's a clip: https://youtu.be/ilHi4LeKZmM)
I'll not mention the others since I'd say they're spoilers.
- "Hey kiddo."

Twist: You've been in space for a couple years and there's only one Ramirez, you have an aggressive brain tumor.
- You're Ramirez.
  
  Yasssssss
  
  And then, John was the Ramirez.

“Ramirezes, quick, what’s something only we would know?” I asked sobbing, sweating, with a gun pointed at indoor Ramirez’s head.

Not sure who wrote this specifically but a bunch of Clickhole 'celebrity quotes' were written by Joe Kwaczala who is hilarious.

Speaking of US space program, Clickhole also revealed the greatest presidential speech ever that was never delivered. ...oops, this isn't quite like I remember reading it - maybe this is a different draft?
- Pretty sure there's an xkcd comic joking about the backup speech in case they returned with more astronauts than they left with

Isn't it something happening in Solaris?

Wasn’t this a Netflix movie
- This is essentially John Carpenters "The Thing" but in space instead of Antarctica. One of my favorites.

maybe it makes you think but I'm built different

Barry is afraid of vampires.

- Guys I think this is the fake Sakychu
- That you, Ramirez?

VOTING ENDED