Are there any Lemmy/Mbin instances by women for women?
Are there any Lemmy/Mbin instances by women for women?
366 comments
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Community-wise there’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it's not a "women's space" as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it's probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance "by women for women". I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
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Beat me to it. Their zero tolerance for misogyny/transphobia extends to who they federate with. If a server doesn’t care about its users being transphobic then it gets the axe. I remember it being a big hub bub because an instance was actually using its defederation option.
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Good.
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As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
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They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
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spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
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Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it's less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
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The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
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Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I've lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.
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yep it's pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there's dozens of comments saying "what about the men" and completely missing the point
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The response to "what about men" comments is, we're already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
Either is a foil for the other and it's exactly the same bullshit.
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As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
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Oh, it's not just me. Yeah, it feels at times like being thrown back a few years. I agree! We could use this. It should be welcoming to everyone leaning toward the feminine gender spectrum, or anyone with questions regarding it. No terfs, no racism or other forms of prejudice ideally, etc. Making a safe place for women or anyone leaning toward the feminine spectrum isn't misandry. But people will break a sweat to try to insert that narrative.
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What about them
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EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
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Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
that's kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it's just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
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This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.
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Niche? Bruh, they're half of the population lmao
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It's not niche being a woman obviously. What's niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.
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this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it's a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women
EDIT:
one of the Blahaj guidelines does include removing bigotry, including sexism, and would be a candidate for a safe space for women:
Inclusion and Acceptance
Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.
That said, the women spaces on Blahaj are mostly for trans women, so a more general women's community would be nice.
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Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.
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Youre absolutely welcome to join Blahaj zone. Our wonderful administration team (both of whom are women) bans misogyny whenever it comes around to our communities. The mods for our main communities share a very aggressive moderation policy.
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They also ban real users instead of the people literally calling their gender "dragonfucker" and "attack helicopter"
There were a bunch of users who got angry about these users mocking gender expression and then when they told the trolls to fucking stop Ada banned them
The blahaj admins are trolls
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I give Ada a lot of credit. In the early days, I had the following interaction:
TOPIC: Something about sexual/gender preferences, I don't remember, asking people their preferences
Me: responds with my preferences (I'm straight cis male, I like women so I'm down with post-transition trans women but pre-transition don't turn me on)
Some random user: respectfully asks if I would be willing to date a pre-transition trans man
Me: I guess, but it probably wouldn't work due to the fact that what I like about their body, they hate
Some of those professionally offended people took a misleading screenshot of my response and started screaming about "chasers".
Ada did an admin post to the community backing me up and calling those idiots out.
So unless she's changed a lot, I don't think she's a troll. It would have been easy to go with the mob but she stuck up for me.
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Pfft, I'd say overly aggressive to a fault. It's not a good thing when they're banning people for a passing comment where the worst offence is "gatekeeping" rather than something that matters.
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As much as I appreciate the community and users, there are (or at least were) serious moderation problems on Blahaj, I did not feel safe there when I tried it a year or two ago.
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I definitely cannot agree. I encourage anyone who has any issues with moderation to make a post in the Blahaj meta community. Ada and Kaity have been spectacular and have responded to every issue I have come across. There are limits, they can't preemptively prevent any kind of moderation issue but they respond quickly.
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Probably the ... fourth-worst well known instance. Idk if that's a good suggestion.
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Most of the fediverse is male, and there's a significant trans woman space, but there's no spaces that really cater to cis women or to trans men specifically that I've seen.
And yes, I think it's reasonable to look for a space that is strongly (though not exclusively) cis-woman, in the same way that a Protestant would feel out of place in a Catholic community, even though they're all Christian. I imagine most cis women feel the same way as I (a cis man) feel when going to blahaj - like a friendly, allied visitor in a foreign land.
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I can’t think of a single online space ever that has catered to trans men. It’s always infinitely easier to just act like a cis dude 99% of the time.
I guess there is Hudson’s Guide lol.
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We have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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its kinda sad how one of the biggest women’s community on the lemmy/mbin side of fedi is !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone…
i mean, it’s a great community, but yea.
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There seems to be a majority of males even in that community though
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Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.
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Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you're being transphobic
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Hahaha the name doesn't do it justice tbh, *cel has connotations that femcelmemes really just doesn't have
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But like what even is a social media for women? I wasn't aware the ones we currently have were for men
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reddit has /r/TwoXChromosomes which is one of my favorite subs. It's a general womens subreddit, and though it obviously leans feminist it's not its main purpose. It welcomes all genders, but remains a womens space.
The fediverse could really use that energy.
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I wondered if they made the jump over here. Guess not, sadly. Reading that sub has made me a better man, because it offers some pretty harsh critiques of male behavior.
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Its all technically ran by trans women which is mildly interesting, like the mods of 2x and the others on reddit and here I think
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on reddit every female sub is ran by the same woman
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beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they're more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn't a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest... Still not really a fit.
You could go ahead and also ask in some of the women communities, see how they get along here on the Fediverse.
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Beehaw.org is nice, Heehaw.org is the closest, Hoohaw.org is the promised land
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The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.
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I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much "but what about men?" when talking about women's issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven't been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn't see that as often.
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Call it out when you see it. Keep the bar nazi free.
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There's !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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I think there’s a few tutorials about how to set up your own lemmy instance. If so compelled; go for it! If you have any sort of IT background it’ll probably be pretty easy.
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Depends. You looking for a woman's space...or a terf space?
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Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women's communities. It's not like there's any way to verify the user's gender anyway.
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Local feed I guess. I wouldn't trade my french local feed to another despite the abillity to subscribe to the community that made it.
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Local feed is one of the best parts of Lemmy conceptually and a very clear indicator that the intended behaviour for users is to sign up to smaller insurances related to their location or otherwise significant individual interests.
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You really don't see the benefit to a group of similar people to have a space focused on them, their wants and needs and daily lives? A community of people like them? It's one of the most fundamental human desires.
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That's not what I said.
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with enough admin and moderation you could circle jerk your way into a "woman positive" or "woman friendly space" which would be the idea.
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I want there to be a witchesvspatreiarchy here, but I'm a dude and it'd be messed up if I started it.
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There's a couple of them, I think.
I found this one:
https://lemmy.ca/c/witchesvspatriarchy
Edit: Better link:
Thanks!
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instance friendly link for those on other instances :)
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Thanks! I was looking for witchesvsTHEpatriarchy for some reason.
Subbed.
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Mod of that community here! Please come join the coven, we're always welcoming like-minded people!
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This idea is pretty cool, i hope they will succeed to achieve that. Imo, we lack diversity on the forumverse except maybe mastodon.
It would provide an additional security layer, another governance. They could also benefit a lot from local community and can check vote, email, ip...Other have already mentionned good example with blahaj, beehaw...
On the other hand, it will render the instance more visible.
On my main instance, jlai.lu, i think we don't manage well sexist speech. They are moderated, we do our best to explain to our users what's wrong and slowly change them but we don't have the same sensibility as women.
Men explaining women...So we probably missed lot things.
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Create one!
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Not a woman.
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Become one /j
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Speaking in general: Creating communities/instances is easy. Moderating them is hard.
In particular: I would love to create women's spaces. But then I'd have to be on the lookout for the Knights of the True Fedora. They're out there. Somewhere. Now now, I'm not suggesting it'd be a daily problem! ...But the actual daily problems (regular spam and whatnot) would suck too.
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I'm in charge of !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al I've got to say the vast majority of men have been fantastically supportive! Odd comment and spite downvote but it's manageable
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I was thinking of making one, but I'm not a woman, so I'll think of something else
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Community wise we have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al its a women only community by women for women.
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Be the change you wish to see in the world.
It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.
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This was just a post to see if there already is something like described
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how would they stop men from participating?
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I don't see a reason to deny men from participating.
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Why should they want to do that? That's not how most sites for women work!
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Blahaj.zone is an instance aimed at queer people, but it doesn't have to prevent non-queer people from participating. I would imagine an instance aimed at women to be similar.
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There is no resonable way to do that.
The only way I could see it being done while perserving some kind of anonymity would be to have a defederated instance, where members are invite-only, where members can invite their friends to join, there by verifying that there are no men joining.
Unfortunately, there is no good way of verifying the gender of a person that you don't meet outside of a forum.
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I’ve mentioned this before in other threads that seek a women-centric Lemmy option, but there was at least one secret community on Reddit like that. Invitees’ post histories were vetted before an invite was sent, both to find women specifically, but also to prevent trolls.
I don’t know exactly how they did it, all I know is that I got an invite one day and found the most open, comforting community I’d ever seen online. It was a place where we could talk about anything from silly stories that made us smile, to complaining about specific issues with bras, all without fear of trolls hijacking the thread, or turning an ordinary thing for us into something sexual.
I miss it.
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ban the rowdy ones lmao
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I'm on .ml, but I don't engage in any Marxist-Leninist communities. So it doesn't really matter on what instance you're on.
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This isn't about recommending an instance but a community.
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The femcel channel need more people if you like that type of humor
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TW: crude and insensitive joke (hopefully the spoiler tag works lol)
ETA: lemme know if you need this taken down. Sometimes the intrusive thoughts win
!It's funny, blahaj.zone is full of pussies, and .ml is full of cunts, and yet there's no dedicated space for women!<
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Can somebody explain to me a thing about anti-feminism: as a 99.5% cishet standard regular manly man man, even from an extremely cold, selfish, objective, all-for-me approach I cannot understand what I stand to gain by this. What's the point?
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Nothing. The only people that gain anything from strict gender roles are the rich, and they use them to create disparities and depress wages.
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Yep - It really is divide and conquer by the rich. Look at 'the culture wars', they will stoke anything to high hell if it gets poor people to stupidly discriminate and fight each other.
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The weaker and more dependent from a man a woman is, the less likely she will have her own opinions, desires or plans, and less likely she will be to leave the insecure men who want this.
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The complaints that I've heard (from previous co-workers) are that feminism was fine until sometime around the late 2000's, but around that time it morphed into something that was anti-men.
For the most part, there's a lot of sour grapes perspectives - a lot of my previous co-workers are anywhere from centrist to conservative. I've heard the selective service registration mentioned in the past, and to an extent I agree with complaint perspective on the selective service thing, but that's about it.
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hexbear is heavily transfem and bans aggressively for misogyny/transphobia. Spending some time there when their recent domain crisis defederated from the rest of Lemmy was actually quite relaxing
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unless you have an external opinion, in which case they fucking lynch you.
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You are right, but a lot of people want to avoid politics.
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almost all the subs that "are women" are basically astroturfed by men, or some of them are male users posting as a "woman"
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If they're tired of getting hit on or oppressed all the time then the communities for women on Lemmy might not be an upgrade. /joke
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Reddit is pretty pro-female, what is this riddiculous gaslighting ?
BTW, ALL of Lemmy+Mbin are pro-female as well.
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You’ve gotten banned from four instances already for misogyny. I wonder how long before your own instance bans you.
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Why did I get banned I wonder ? yes because I questioned them asked for evidence & they provided none
I linked my evidences & they were evading questions.
BTW, I blocked those instances as well. The real question you should ask is how long until your echo-chamber fades into obscurity.
Didn't you mock ModLogs ?😂
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bar yourself?
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Go home & take a nap, you need it
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Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all of humanity.
Asking for a women-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less men. If you're implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I'd love to show you the Grey's Anatomy sub.
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i mean, i don't see anything necessarily wrong with it though.
It's like making a linux specific lemmy instance, or an anarchist focused lemmy instance (the one im on)
it might go against the principles of lemmy, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it.
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Neigh, Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all the world.
I am species blind. Asking for a species-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less horses. If you're implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I'd love to show you equestrian sports.
There is literally nothing different between any species, gender, or even a rock. Women, Men. Heck 1 + 1 = 3. Everything is exactly the same. It's a soup of protons. It's all the same!
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Why you want to create division?
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Women need a space to communicate with other women, men can't completely understand the unique experience, challenges and culture women have within literally every culture and sometimes we need only those who understand to listen. Men, be an ally to women and shut up, let them have a safe space without your intrusion.
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There’s a Midwest focused instance and I wouldn’t call that division. They’re not trying to exclude East and west coasters. They don’t hate southerners. It’s just similar people gathering to talk about the things they have in common, which in this instance are midwesterner things. It’s the same for women. It’d be nice to have a place to talk about things that women have in common and experience that men don’t. If it was anything like the 2XChromosomes subreddit then men wouldn’t be banned, and plenty of men comment, it’s just that the topic of conversation focuses on women and women’s experiences. Having a place for people, especially women, to talk about women’s issues and experiences isn’t anymore divisive than having a midwestern instance or a European instance. And it would be a good place for men to look into to learn more about what life is like as a woman. If men feel they don’t have a place to talk about men’s problems, then they should also make an instance specifically for talking about men’s experiences
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Because of you.
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it's called pinterest
Edit:
PS: Ok so it looks like people here are just as bad as redditors. I was answering the question in the Reddit caption of this post. Pinterest has been known to be an alternative to Reddit (as a link aggregator) which attracts women a lot more than men.
This is a KNOWN thing, check this 10 year old article from the people managing Pinterest stating as much
Of course women are welcome here, there is no question about it. Does it matter if there is an instance for women? I don't even know, I know women who love stereotypical male stuff and vice versa. I assume anyone, male, female or anything in the spectrum, can browse around and collate their favorite subs
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Not funny, not ok. Women are just as welcome here as anyone else and your comment is exactly why they are asking. “It’s a joke” - nope don’t even. Be better than this.
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it wasn't a joke
pinterest is an link aggregator just like reddit and geared towards women
of course women are welcomed here, no clue how you get otherwise from my comment
https://www.youthsense.com.au/youth-insights/men-are-from-reddit-women-are-from-pinterest/
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Onlyfans
Edit: forgot the /s
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Instead you resort to insults!
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366 comments