1y ago

Part of a balanced diet

132 comments

- Can this even be considered a meme when it hits so close to home?
  
  The best ones always do
- The meme continues!

I have done this, and the only thing I regretted is not eating more olives.
- I run out of olives, then tell myself not to do it, but still sneak a sip of juice from the jar.
  "You're disgusting."
  "DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, ME!"
  
  Fun fact - a sip or two of pickle juice is a great cure for heartburn. I don’t even like pickles, but I’ll do it because it works.
  I can’t stand olives, even more than I dislike pickles, so idk if olive juice would do the same, but it is, at least, not grosser from an objective view 😅

Had this for dinner last night. Paired it with some tortilla chips to help round out its nutritional value. Might do it again tonight. It's called The Mediterranean Diet.
- It tastes like the Mediterranean too!
  
  My typical dinner tastes like the Aral.
- Me eating an entire can of chickpeas with a spoon
  
  XD I did this once and it was surprisingly delicious. I was tired and hungry, opened the can to cook it with other prepared ingredients. Decided to spoon some in my mouth, and then another, and then another, until I ate all of it right there.
- Where's the protein..
  
  At the store, busy being expensive
- Tortilla chips have nearly 0 nutritional value tho...
  
  Yes but typically they come with a ton of sodium, as do olives. Won't anyone think of the sodium? Blood pressure be damned!

I am Italian and I approve this message

I don't see how this is a shitpost, it's just unironically a great thing to do.
- How much did big olive pay you to say this
  
  I'd love to eat big olive
- Yeah, they're delicious, nutritious, and never go bad. Perfect for the man who does not like grocery shopping.
  Are the haters imagining people eating the super-salty pimiento olives? I'm talking about the fancy olives that I, as a sophisticated and wealthy bachelor, buy per-pound from the grocery-store salad bar.
  
  Wait never go bad?
- There's a limit to not exceed though (for me at least :-D )
  
  41 olives.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE OLIVES JUST SHOVE THEM INTO MY MOUTH OM NOM NOM OH GOD THEY'RE DELICIOUS SO TASTY MMMMMMM GOOD OLIVES NICE OLIVES CHOP THEM UP AND PUT THEM ON PIZZA AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE OLIVES THEN FUCK YOU OLIVES ARE DELICIOUS YOU CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO BIG LINGUINI TRYING TO RUIN THE NAME OF DELICIOUS OLIVES THEY ARE MY LIGHT AND JOY OLIVES ARE SO GOOD I CANNOT HELP MYSELF I WILL EAT ONE OR TWO OR A THOUSAND I AM BECOME OLIVE
- i'm starting to think that you might like olives
- New Answer just dropped

I'm not falling for this. I think I've read a greentext about doing this and the anon ended up covered in shit sobbing himself to sleep on the bathroom floor
- People get sick from eating olives? Man I can eat a jar of green olives, pair it with a brick of cheddar cheese and you've got yourself a meal.
  
  Yeah wtf? I'll eat a whole jar of kalamata and have no problems.
  
  I've found my people. Think I'll go indulge in a brick of cheddar right now. The concrete that I have to pass tomorrow will be .. well .. tomorrow's problem.
  
  Olives are toxic until they've been brined. Those sort of discoveries always make me wonder... who figured out that immersing them in salt water for a month would make them edible without making you sick?
- That was a jar of pickles and it caused him great gastrointestinal issues that resulted in acid like bowel movement.
  This reaction isn't normal though.
- Even just eating like 5 olives makes things extra smooth down the line >.>
- ...i just ate eight flavor grenade pluots for dinner about two hours ago, crunchy, green, and tart: the flavor part was absolutely true but as i'm sitting down to type this i suddenly realise that the grenade part was, too...

If you have the occasion, try a fresh olive picked from the three. You won't regret it ;)
- Why not eat the other too?
  
  This won reply is my favorite.
  
  This is my life motto now, thanks.
- Why not 2 or 4?
- As a Greek with olives in their family house, I can highly ^^^not recommend this
  
  Lmao why not?

How many olives should you eat?
Olive them.
- Officer, I want to report this DAD.

About 3 months ago I suddenly developed an indefatigable craving for olives. Since then I've eaten about a small jar a week. IDK if I'm pregnant (seems unlikely) or if olives are just a normal part of adulthood, similar to how everyone in college eats a lot of toast on occasion.
- tempted to post the classic 4chan pickle story
- Adult people drown them in martinis. So, Jar a week souds about right. :)

Literally my kids everyday. They fucking LOVE olives. It’s weird. We don’t encourage it and we tell ourselves it’s a phase that will eventually wear off.
- It won't. I'm in my late 30s and olives are still the fucking best thing ever.
- I'm 23 now and olives are still hard drugs to me, once I get started I want to eat the entire stash
- My mother tells me my uncle would eat nothing but olives for about a year when he was a toddler. He threw a massive fit if they tried to feed him anything else.
- In time, it will get sane. I used to drink pickle juice.
  Still love pickles, but I don’t drink the brine.
  
  I could eat an entire jar of green olives and drink the juice. Actually I still do. Olives are good.
  
  Last night I ran out of pickle juice before i ran out of pickles
- Are you kids Greek? 😂

Marinate them in a bit of vodka for a relaxing evening repast

Fun fact: olives are technically fruit.
- More fun facts: tomatoes and pineapples are berries.
  
  Well, pineapple is a bunch of berries fused together.
  Unrelated : avocado is a berry.
- This means olive oil is fruit juice.
  
  olive juice is fruit juice. olive oil comes from crushing the fruit's nuts

Yeah, ate a (large) bunch of green olives in quick succession once. Turned my stomach into Vesuvius during Pompeï's final moments.
- Sometimes when I'm backed up having a way to clear the pipes is nice. There are few things I enjoy more than a blast from the ass.
  
  c/nocontext
  
  I agree, but unfortunately this time it forced its way back up at night (because of the acidity).
  Edit: It's

I mean, I'll happily eat 10 olives as part of a salad, or 20 straight-up as a snack. You've gotta rinse them off first, though. Also, the cheap brands are less oily and salty.
- Rinse them? I spear them right out of the jar. I love 'em. I'll try rinsing one today to see what that's like, but I suspect the oil and salt is a big part of why I like them.
  
  Here's something else to try.
  Rinse out the olives and put them in a clean jar.
  Add a somewhat generous amount of olive oil. Best you can find.
  Add salt, dried chili flakes, and oregano.
  Squeeze like half a lemon in the jar. Cut a few thin slices off the other half, cut them in quarters and drop them in as well.
  Vigorously shake the jar so all the olives are coated nicely in the spicy lemony oil.
  I always have a jar of this in my fridge. God tier stuff, once you've got the mix right in steps 3 and 4.

Please🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Where is Olivehate when I need them??????
- I have never in my life seen soo much unequivocally olive positivity. What is this place
- Boooo
  Long live the Olive! Glory to the Olive empire!
- There's a secret to liking olives. You have to keep eating them until you pass the gross-bliss barrier. I used to hate olives, but now they're like crack to me.
  
  We call that oliveholme syndrome
  
  Why do that when there are so many other things that I do love??? If there’s nothing else, I can understand, but now??? I don’t get it.

I came across The Sad Bastard Cookbook on HN. It is amazing and very much in the spirit of this post.

Are you 30 to 50 feral hogs?

Today's been an enlightening day, I learned people like to eat tons of olives alone. I can't even stand them in pizza.
- I can’t stand them on pizza either, and I always thought that meant I didn’t like olives
  Turns out I just don’t like the cheap black olives they put on pizza. Good olives are good, but lots of olives aren’t and bad olives just make the whole dish they’re in taste like bad olives.
- I know we're not supposed to judge and this is meant to be a community but ... I draw the line at olive hate. They're so damn delicious. Are you even human?
  
  chilli and garlic olives marinated in olive oil are literally food from the gods

Girl dinner! Girl dinner!

Right out of the jar with your fingers? Wtf?
- It's definitely more sane to do it with your toes!
- With a fork or spear. I dunno who the fuck would dip their fingers into the oil, but I don't want to shake their hand.
  
  Well yeah, and moreover I don't want to eat the damn olives after they've dipped their digits in there.

This reads like the beginning of an I Think You Should Leave sketch

Regret? Never with olives 🫒.

Oh no, I'm not falling for that idea again. I've learned the hard way (multiple times) that I will regret more than about 20 olives in one go. Too much salt for me.

keto friendly

I feel heard.

If I start I won't stop yill the jar is empty, olives rock!
- You're not supposed to eat the rocks (seeds) dummy.
  Olives good though 👍

This is actually a normal part of my life but with kalamata

Can confirm, never regret eating olives off the jar.

Every time I have eaten just a can of olives, I've peed out of my asshole soon after. They're delicious, but not so much they are worth that.

I can only eat green olives on a muffalata. One of the very few foods I don't care for.

Somebody is salty. I think it's me. Mmmm olives

This feels like a futurecanoe bit

But, honestly, can you eat this many olives as a healthy meal, or would it mess you up in some way?
- No you'd probably get diarrhea from the sodium.
  
  That will pair nicely with the diarrhea I get from my other poor diet choices.

Girl dinner

I would regret eating one single olive. Yech.
- olives are amazing, you just need to find the right one for you. I dont like black olives much and they seem to be on everything, I much prefer Castelvetrano olives
  
  Considering the 'oliveness' is the flavor I don't like and it's in every type of olive I've ever tried, I think I just don't like olives. I don't even like the smell.

132 comments