What your coffee preparation method says about you

Slackware
As simple as Arch, but more stable.
The design is almost 100 years old and doesn't need daily filter updates.
- But also it burns the coffee
  
  Only when you use it wrong.
  
  It does not. A regular percolator does, as it circulates the coffee back into the boiling water, unlike a moka pot, where the finished coffee does not sit at the bottom close to the heat, but in the top compartment. You should take it off the stove as soon as it’s done to avoid getting the finished coffee back to a boil or overextracting the coffee but if you do it right, they make really good coffee. There are even some versions that feature a valve, so the coffee is cooked at a higher pressure, getting it a little closer to espresso and producing a nice –albeit short lived – crema.
  
  Tbh confused how you even managed to burn the coffe with this, as it is just evaporating water that filters through the coffee above - like did you put the coffee in the bottom part? 🤔
  
  I've used a moka pot nearly every day for 10 years, never burned my coffee with it. I'm not even sure how you'd do that unless you just completely ignore it when it's done and leave it on the stove forever.
  
  I can't imagine how you burn coffee with a mocha pot.
  Like, you'd have to go out of your way and intentionally try to burn coffee with it.
- Do these work ok on a glass top stove?
  
  Yes. Although I recommend getting the stainless steel version. It can work on anything even an induction hob. It’s the one I take travelling.
  
  Yes
- Me too. And a lot of chatter (how are people managing to burn the coffee!?). Classic. Stable. Easy to maintain. Need to take care to get the best results.

Aeropress gang representing.
I run debbie kde plasma x11 btw
- Aeropress gang, but running mint.
  
  Same. "Works pretty well out of the box but I have the option to fuck it up"
  
  Samesies
- I was gonna say, how do you know an aeropress/nixos user - they'll tell you. But Debian works too 😂
- Aeropress and PopOs
- Aeropress and Fedora! Apparently I should use Chemex instead

So what's a cup of instant equivalent? Don't tell me it's Windows.
- ChromeOS? lol
- Mac os. Windows wouldn't be coffee at all
  
  Nah, the macOS equivalent would be going to starbucks
  
  that's good postum!
- WSL2
  I just need to run this script and I need it fast
- Windows is Monster. Will give you your caffeine fix, does what is supposed to do, but will slowly destroy your body.

Linux Mint (Moccamaster) it just chugs along and makes the best coffee possible. Fast and reliable.
- $400 for a drip machine?
  Must be a Mac user.
  
  Its not a drip machine though, it's more like a Chemex that doesn't require you to do the pouring.
  
  270€ on Amazon here, but you sure got a chuckle out of me 😁
  1 litre of delicious coffee in 5 minutes is hard to beat though.
  
  It does make good drip coffee though. But best drip coffee imo comes from pour-over, but that can be less convenient and consistent than an automatic machine.
- Moccamaster<3
  I use debian btw
- The analogy works well since its Debian-like, but way more awesome. The Moccamaster is great. As easy to use as a drip, but makes better coffee than the Chemex.
- Why is this so accurate (even though I've tried many other distros and coffee makers)

I use this:
Except my stove top is electric.
I use LinuxMint by the way.
- That's just pretentious, man. You do that for the musafir but there's no way you use that impossible to clean cezve on a daily basis.
  Here, use this:
  A teaspoon for every little cup of water. Heat it fast until it simmers, stir like crazy for two minutes, pour, then let it froth slightly, then pour again.
  I use Arch and Debian depending on what I think is easiest.
- Thank goodness poor openSUSE got some coffee here
- القهوة العربية مع الهيل؟
  That's the best.
  
  I prefer mine with chocolate actually, but I do like Arabic coffee with cardamom.

NixOS would be like brewing coffee with laboratory equipment and then setting it up for automation.
- Well, dammit, now I gotta go try NixOS. Gee, thanks for sending me down the rabbit hole, like I have time for yet another one!
- The device you're looking for is called a coffee syphon. Like this one from hario https://www.hario-canada.ca/products/hario-syphon-tca-2
- …in a container

I do French Press, where does that put me?
- PopOS
  
  I feel like with french press being all manual PopOS isn't the right fit.
- I think in this graphic I would replace the Fedora pour-over thing with a French Press because they already did pour-over with Arch.
  And then Android is a Starbucks cup.
  
  That fits. Just like Android, Starbucks coffee is well made, by someone who isn't you.
  The quality of the final product is still in question though.
  
  The pour-over thing is called Chemex just FYI. It's supposed to be different than regular pour-over. I use Fedora...
  
  And then Android is a Starbucks cup.
  That does Android a huge disservice. Android is a well made Nescafe. It's not the coffee of your choice, but it is stable and reliable, and doesn't make a fuss if you pour other coffees into it.
- I'm French Press and I use Fedora.

Fedora would be a French Press.
Reliable, consistent, hard to screw up, broad information online on how to use one.
- That's what I use, it's so much simpler. And I only use the press because my wife refuses to buy me instant coffee, otherwise that's what I'd drink, cause it's so about ease for me. A press is easier to clean
  
  Beware the diterpenes

I prepare my coffee in a cup, and drink it with grounds. No milk, no sugar.
I am an embedded developer.
Sometimes when I'm too lazy to boil water, I leave coffee grounds with cold water in a cup overnight, the coffee is strong enough in the morning, and no need to wait for it to cool.
- You've discovered cold brew!
- I never have time for waiting for the kettle to boil so I do this on the daily.

Very happy to see myself correctly represented. I use a single cup pourover, BTW

Me, a Slackware user: eating raw coffee beans by themselves

Excuse me but I'm a Debian user and I'm not using the same system since 10 years.
More like 30 years.

My wife is an arch user........... Oh no.

I use Fedora and sometimes Debian (Debian is love! 🌀❤️), and brew my coffee in a moka pot.

I use a french press and endeavouros. don't know what that says...
- It says there are at least two of us!
  
  Three now!

Forgot cold brewers.

Looseleaf earl grey and 20 years of debian.

I guess french pressers use BSD.

Can confirm. I'm a Debian user and use a Cuisinart grind and brew I've had for ages. It's actually the second of two of the same model after the first broke following years of loyal service.
- I have a Cuisinart grind and brew, which is pushing a decade old at this point. Love the thing and will replace it with something similar if it dies before I do. But, I use Ubuntu on my server and Arch on my desktop. So, not this meme fits, but it is funny.
  
  I've been considering switching to Arch for my desktop. Is it worth it? Did you use anything else on desktop before switching?

CentOS would be an empty coffee tin that still smells like coffee.

I normally enjoy engaging with this type of blatant stereotyping....but this? Treating Gentoo like it's a real thing people use irl?

Isn't the coffee prep between Fedora and Arch the same?
Also what says it about me when I use those and the Ubuntu machine?
Oh... Yeah my raspberry and my server run Ubuntu.
My surface uses Fedora
And my computer uses EndeavourOS.
Yeah that checks out.
- The jug is bloat
  
  Filtered directly into the mouth.
- Fedora and Arch are both pour-over, which is a subset of drip coffee. Would be nice to pick distros that really show that family tree.

I use Nixos. And I trink tea.

I left Debian but Debian didn't leave me, it seems...

I like hot chocolate and use Ubuntu 😋

Filter into a Thermos?
- Maybe Tumbleweed? You get bare coffee, with a well built stable base.

I have a pour over, a french press, and a drip filter.
I use mint xfce, BTW.

I use a French press and Linux Mint.

I use a drip machine, btw

#TeamV60
But Mac user, sorry.
- V60 is my main, but also have a french press and a manual espresso machine (Flair Pro 2).
  Mac user as well.
  
  How do you like your flair? I've been considering getting one for a while now but haven't been able to pull the trigger yet
- Also v60 but mint.. sorry

Or maybe use Ubuntu so you have time to make the espresso?

All of the above plus moka pot, Aeropress, cold brew, french press, and instant.
Just like with OS selection, I hold no allegiance and use the tool that best fits the requirements.

Would drinking tea be a haiku user

You know what, this is really accurate. I won't touch Ubuntu or a pod machine. I will use an old percolator, if necessary, but it's not something I would ever pick over other options. I also bounce between other distros just as often as I bounce between coffee brewing methods!
I wonder where openSUSE falls on this paradigm? Moka pot, maybe?

Is a bean to cup espresso machine Calculate Linux then?

Yeah that seems pretty on point (espresso maker).

Percolator: Mandrake user. Holy god someone's still using that old thing.

KDE is an office coffee machine with billion options
- It reminds me of most modern microwaves that have bazillion different options and buttons, meanwhile most people just use like the +30 sec button, stop and maybe just maybe the defrost button.

I use Debian and use a French French press since 9 years ^^
- Also French press (this one) here. It’s great for hot coffee, but I prefer to use it for cold brew. Course grind and let it sit in there for almost a day at room temperature (I put either plastic wrap or an upside down plate to avoids surprise ingredients). Then plunge and pour into a cup for drinking and a storage container for the fridge.
  Mostly Xubuntu but also SteamOS and EndeavourOS with KDE Plasma DE.
  
  Does it affect the taste too much if you put the top on with the plunge down just a little bit? That's what I usually do when doing cofe, but then it's just five minutes so probably doesn't affect as much.

i uh.
I don't drink coffee.
- Oh I see, you enjoy licking the boot of Big Tea...
  (yes im joking)
  
  haven't gotten around to tea yet. Perhaps someday in the future though.

LFS guy: chews the unground beans

I drink instant coffee. Black.

Debian (i3 on laptop, headless on homelab).
But apparently my coffee is Arch.

Hah, this checks out for me.

Hey, I'm no Ubuntu user! ... I'm a linux mint user. /j

you have four drip coffees and NO French or Turkish? no instant? no teas? laaaaaame. it was already lame with the computer nerd shit but LAAAAME. not even a fkin percolator?
- ?
  Downvoted for lumping tea in with coffee. How dare you.

I don't drink coffee and I don't have a computer, so I guess it's accurate!

...oh no.
I use a v60 btw

What if I modded my Keurig to use coffee grounds instead of wasteful k cups? I use Manjaro btw.

I use a Chemex, and I have used Fedora. I'm on Garuda now, which is my favorite, which is Arch based but with extra stuff, so the Chemex makes a lot of sense (fancy pour-over).

Apparently, I’m a gentoo user.
I use arch by the way

Alright, which one of you has a Gagguino? Just tell us already, no need to create some impetus to bring it up.

What exactly is the arch one doing? That looks simple and awesome and I hate cleaning my French press.
- Oh my goodness you are in for a treat! Pourover coffee is in my opinion the best way to prepare a cup. Get yourself a v60, and the paper filters that go with it, watch a James Hoffman video on proper v60 technique, and enjoy. It should actually give a cleaner cup (less residue) than the French press.
- It's simply, filter paper, coffee mug. With plastic cone thingy in between to hold the filter paper above the cup
  It's the same as Debian really, it just looks more primitive.
- It IS simple and awesome, and it can be cheap af. Got mine from a dollarstore 2 decades ago and I still love it more than any other coffee prep.
- It's essentially a funnel with a flat base. I just cut the bottom of one of mine to be more flat and works just as well.
- I am lazy and hate cleaning so this is cool to me
- I have one of those for camping but never actually got to trynit
- Look into V60 pourover or Aeropress in that case

I am an Ubuntu user and have one of the cheaper espresso machines out there. I feel very confused, but I’m also new.
- My cheap ($100) espresso machine takes less time than a Mr. Coffee/drip machine.
  
  I like the reliable simplicity of my machine but also the gadgety, mechanical, ritual of the thing. It’s an active procedure with parts that have to be loaded, locket together and there’s knobs and buttons and it makes all kinds of fun noises. Sure it’s probably superfluous to the method of creating a tasty caffeine vehicle. But I enjoy the process of making it work.

Ubuntu is instant coffee.
- Yeah; that's generally what those Kuerig things make. Individually packaged cups of instant coffee. All the machine does is heat up water to mix with the instant mix in the pod.