Trump's campaign says it's 'not going to talk about couches'
The Trump campaign finally acknowledged the baseless meme alleging that Sen. JD Vance once had sex with a couch.
Why are they not talking about couches? What have they got to hide? Seems kinda suspicious.
I agree. It seems like something you'd deny outright. It raises questions about whether or not Trump is a couch-fucker, or if MAGA republicans endorse couch-fucking. Is this their political agenda? To fuck my couch? Or your couch? Are they recruiting my furniture into their couch-fucking culture? There are a lot of questions here.
this their political agenda? To fuck my couch? Or your couch? Are they recruiting my furniture into their couch-fucking culture? There are a lot of questions here.
Given how they taped maxi pads to their ears or wore diapers, id absolutely believe they'd fuck couches to prove their dedication to the GOP. Republicans are nothing if not performative.
It raises questions about whether or not Trump is a couch-fucker
I'd rather him fuck couches than be a rapist, but here we are.
This was just a silly joke that got WAY out of hand. The author isn’t even trying to claim it’s real. Getting defensive and angry is the worst possible way to respond - therefore, I hope they keep doing it.
It would be something to see a headline about JD Vance denying having relations with a couch
Wonder if it'll happen
Oh god and they find out it was a new couch and JD has a thing for underage settees
Could you imagine being the person that wrote that?!? Id take a drink of whatever just to do a spit take. "Omfg, I can't believe it's gone that far!"
You think fucking couches is a joke? Furniture abortions are at an all-time high and you think it's some kind of silly joke?
Come on. You and I both know that those stats are cushioned.
There has been a steep recline in these numbers over the years.
“We do not want to risk Mr. Vance getting an erection on stage.”
Oh please can we incept some weird mental link in his head between coaches and sex, I say send fan art
Pretty sure republicans don't have an issue with coaches and sex, just ask Gym Jordan.
They had better not have any soft-cushioned chairs on there then.
You don't have to talk to em, you just walk right up and grab em by the cushy
Furnitussy
Apparently, the only way to get under their skin is to sink down to their level a bit. It's funny how much attention some of this stuff actually got. They are just so weird!
It's not even close to sinking to their level. This shit is harmless. That makes it especially hilarious to see them blow a gasket over something so lame. Trump wants to take his ball and go home.
It looks kind of pathetic. These dudes have real policy positions and behavior to attack and instead of anything substantive we get couches and weird.
If you're trying to reach voters already with you, then it'll be effective for that maybe, but it only tells other voters you think they're imbeciles. Which is prolly accurate.
The talk about them being weird wasn't devorced from policy. It was first brought up when talking about how republican leaders are weird for wanting book bans and abortion related policies
The media latched on to the word "weird" because it was unusual, but if you look at when Walz using it, it's still largely being used in discussions of their horrible plans and actions
but it only tells other voters you think they're imbeciles. Which is prolly accurate.
They're trying to reach republican voters, of course they're going to assume their target audience is a bunch of imbeciles who don't care about policy. Because we have decades of evidence that they are a bunch of imbeciles who don't care about policy.
You gotta meet your audience where they are, and we already know where the republican electorate is.
"We're not going to talk about couches or coconuts or whatever weird fetish KamalaHQ is into," Cheung said, also referencing the coconut memes associated with Harris' political persona. "When we have something to say, we'll say loud and clear. If Kamala is a coward, we'll call her a coward. If Tim Walz is a liar, we'll call him a liar."
Weird way to not talk about couches bro.
Wait, lying is a problem now? Somebody better let Trump know.
Lying is only a problem if you’re a Democrat.
If you’re a republican they expect you to.
when we have something to say, we'll say it loud and clear
Uh huh, like calling her a "DEI hire". Or maybe the implied racism is sufficiently loud and clear for them
It’s really a lot of couch talk for a campaign declaring no couch talk 🤷♂️
Throw pillow talk after you just banged your sofa?
Don't look at our maggoty cum fart couch, look at what THEY'RE doing instead!
Sorry, your name inspired that, aptly named for this topic after all.
But Donald is a coward and a liar. He is also old as fuck. It is exacerbating his syphilis dementia.
Lol what?! Kamala's fetish? She has nothing to do with couches. She's not even mentioned the situation with JD at all so far as I'm aware.
Jesus, is JD afraid Kamala might take his couch away or something? Why are they always afraid of people taking stuff away from them when in reality nobody wants to do that. They are so fucking weird.
Just because I haven't told you recently: your username is disgusting
C’mon Vance, don’t be a La-Z-Boy, answer the questions about your sectionality
Cmon, at least the couch won't tell us how little your dick is.
It's far too traumatized to answer questions at this time. Please respect the couches wishes for privacy.
That’s ok because the rest of us are having great fun discussing it because it’s sofa king hilarious
I want a Vance shirt to say Vance he Sofa King the Couch
🎶We don't talk about couches, no no no🎶
7 foot frame Crusty center crack When it calls your name Don’t tempt me Love Sack
I understand, I don't like when people bring up my ex either.
That’s because Flipper Vance is getting too much attention with all this couch action.
Anyday now Trump will crack and announce that he had lots of couches back in his day more than anyone and when your rich they let you do it to their couches with tears in their eyes saying thank you sir. Big strong men with big strong couches. Some of them were on the younger side to be sure but they liked the couches as much as I did.
I want this to happen to so bad. This is peak "life is absurd" moment.
A US candidate for President gets so upset that their VP is hogging all the news about a shit post about fucking a couch.
Could happen. He’s been spiraling so hard after Biden stepped aside that he posted a fanfic the other night, in which Biden triumphantly storms the DNC and reclaims the nomination that was “stolen” from him.
Vladimir Futon.
Narrator: “they’re totally going to talk about couches.”
Now I'm hearing The Narrator talking about how Stanley JD Vance went down the hallway to the break room and found several couches laying there, waiting. But for whom were they waiting? JD's heart skipped a beat at the thought that they had been waiting for him, and when he saw the way those lustful couches looked at him, he knew it was his lucky day.
"I did not have sexual relations with that settee!"
Sectional relations
“Not going to talk about couches”? Oh yes you are. You’ve been hoisted by your own petard, and you’re gonna stay up there till we decide to take you down (we won’t, you deserve it).
It's like "uhhh, you realize you're talking about couches right now, right?"
Bring the tsr and feathers.
I know it's a typo but my job title at work is tsr and I had to read your post again
From the article:
That's spurred criticism from the right that — even if the meme is tongue-in-cheek — Democrats are spreading baseless lies about one of their political opponents.
Because the Republicans would never stoop to such a low!
Wow. Their silence on couches is deafening. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE?!
Hmm curious why would Trump campaign hide this info from the voters?? Did Vance really fuck the couches and the internet just guessed right????
i think he's statistically likely to have fucked a couch and is panicked that someone found out somehow
He wrote about it in his own book. With his own words. I'm down with whatever you wanna do man, but you wrote about on a book and then try to hide it? I'm gonna laugh at you
Especially coming from the party of "we want to control every aspect of your private life". They want to judge people's sex life? Well, we're going to make fun of theirs.
Otherwise what happens between a man and his couch would otherwise be none of my business (unless I'm offered to sit on said couch, then I would really like to some warning).
We're gonna talk about them endlessly.
Convicted felon Donald Project 2025 Trump's campaign says it's 'not going to talk about couches', in reference to JD Couch Fucker Vance
COUCHES are being used in SCHOOLS to FORCE kids to have sex! We need to BAN these sick perverted couches. THEY want your children to stop having kids.
GET THEM OUT OF SCHOOLS
Or something deranged like that.
well it ottoman!
It's nobody's business but the Turks
It's an older code but it checks out.
If their voters are willing to wear t-shirts saying "real men wear diapers", we need to get in on this racket and sell "real men fuck couches" and "better a couch-fucker than a Democrat!" shirts, then after a certain threshold of sales and enough time for Vance and Trump to notice and comment on the phenomenon, we can reveal that the profits are being donated to Kamala and that every shirt sold has a secret message written around the image in a tiny font that says "if you can read this, you're a fucking moron".
Which got me the sick idea of "Coucher", an app like Tinder where you can swipe pics of upholstered living room furniture...
Don't worry, we'll talk about it for you
Sounds like it just did
They're really trying to couch the narrative.
They could have memed it to hell and back with stuff like "I did not have a sexual relationship with that furniture mr. Clinton" or "only inanimate thing im horny for is democracy" but they had to go full serious damage control mode. Like, if they told us there are no aliens invading and put soldiers in the streets we would look out for ufos. What did they think they were going to gain by that kind of response? Completely detached from the ether, they are.
He still hasn't denied it!
If you're not gonna talk about it, just don't talk about it. This counts as talking about it.
Streisand'd the narrative wonderfully
Yeah, I don't blame them. You don't want Vance to lose his concentration and start fantasizing about couches.
What happens in the couch, stays in the couch. But hey, loveseats got that name for a reason.
JD Vance’s local furniture store got that standing order for quarterly couch delivery for the very same reason!
They don't kiss and tell! /wink
A lot of people are talking about couches and other sexy furniture.
Don't wanna discuss it huh? So you've got something to hide about it?
"..because now we fucking LOVE SEATS, y'all!!!"
Nice word play.
The pig fucker strategy happened by accident for the Democrats. Thanks goodness for the tik tokr that started that. When Walz cracked that joke in his first speech as VP candidate it clearly upset Vance.
I heard he has a secret nest of tables with his mistress.
How dare you talk about his ottomans that way!
Technically, they’re talking about it!
To the tune of “We don’t talk about Bruno”
Not evading the couch allegations.
This is just too much. Ha ha ha.
No talk, only segs.
Denial, can we ask Matt Gaetz which stage of grief this is?
The best part is everyone except the right wing idiots knows it's just a joke, but they are getting so upset over it.
If they're trying to sweep this under the rug, I do not wanna know what JD Vance did to that rug...
Weird strategy this is the kind of thing you really want to get a head into er ahead of.
"...because too much talking ruins the mood!!!"
QUICK! Don't think of a couch!