EsheLynn @ EsheLynn @lemmy.blahaj.zone

Posts

12

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104

Joined

2 yr. ago

Good luck. Idk what to tell you, what advice to give. Everyone's story is different, with different ups and downs. Just... not to be a Debbie downer, but maybe temper your expectations? You've read my ups and downs, I'm sure. Hope for the best, expect the worst, ya know? I send love, hugs, and support from the other side of the internet.

Would you and your partner care to elucidate upon those pros and cons? It's kinda why I asked, and with y'all being on both sides of the fence, it would give some really good perspectives and unique workarounds you have found with the roadblocks with both of your care.

Random strangers treat me as just another person, so that's pretty nice. No, but actually. I always have such anxiety about going out, and forget I live in one of the most LGBT+ positive places in the country. I have so much internalized crap from growing up down south in Baptist churches.

Girl, you look a helluva lot more passing than I do. I had a realization about myself though. Covering my shaved arms and legs made me see him in the mirror. I think it's putting the illusion in my head about how hairy I am, or something. Idk, a cute unicorn onesie just gave me dysphoria cuz my arms were covered. I'm no psychiatrist.

Maybe try changing up your wardrobe. Instead of trying to pass as your trans goals, or something like that, try just something as simple as tank tops and leggings. It's working for me right now. And maybe stop looking at mirrors and selfies. I need to cut back too, and just listen to my kids.

You look sad, but you do look feminine. Taking care of yourself will go a long way towards body image. The only clothes I have right now are handmedowns from my ex before she left, and from my middle daughter. I'm no hair care expert, by any means, but I do know enough to know frizzy hair takes some extra work to maintain. Researching a proper hair care routine might be a good way to start feeling better about yourself.

I would also recommend a routine in your life, in general. It can really help stabilize what's going on in your head and help getting into a good headspace.

Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. You are very pretty. You just need to give yourself a chance to shine.

I know the pun here, but my mind just went to a crass, horrible mermaid that just casually drops slurs.

I'm not sure which closet you're in, honey, but you need to come out You got so much angst, darling.

I've been out for a week-ish. I chose it a few days ago. Again, I'm self-aware enough to know to give it some time, I guess I was just wondering if it goes away.

Oh, God, I fell like it's my fault somehow. I'm so sorry, and I hope things go well for you.

It's been little over a week lol. I kinda know I'm jumping the gun a bit, I just want my brain to get on to the same page that I just wanna be me, dammit.

Well, for starters, id probably come clean about starting hormones to your SO. Honesty being the best policy aside, they could help you look out for mood swings and stuff you may not notice on your own.

You did handle it well with your kid. Sometimes they get lazy and just reach for the nearest thing to do their chores, cuz they just wanna get it over with. You know how it is, we were both kids once, and I've got three little assholes of my own to deal with, lol. They mean well. They tried to get the chores done, after all, instead of neglecting it.

Like you told me, just take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time if you have to. Take some time to evaluate your emotions, and see if it's worth the energy you are putting into it. I'm glad you recognized it as a mistake, instead of maliciousness. Good luck and Godspeed on your journey. o7

Trust me, I've been super worried about this day. She bucked when one of my kids came out as pan, and again when they came out as trans, to the point they call her her name, not grandma. Even to her face. Because they have been slighted so much. I know she doesn't understand, but she's trying. She even was trying to correct herself when she called me son, and I gently told her I'm still making my own connection in my head. I'm glad it went as well as it did, and I'm sorry your stepmom wasnt as accepting. Trust me, I'm still worried about my stepdad. He's been very stoic about this, but he's got a more important things going on than his trans stepdaughter. (His mom isn't doing very well). So imma give him his space on that

I hope your mother has done some growth since then. Sometimes, it might just be better to let go. Just, be careful and temper your expectations, and have your partner by your side.

Yeah, but it would be weird in a few years when I start dating again for my kids to meet a different date of the week, if I brought any one home. Idk. It's waaaaaay to early to even think about that. I don't even think I've started to grieve properly. I kinda think I'm happier, in a way, that she's gone.

It's just, if you made a Venn Diagram of a year ago me objectively describing physical attributes I found hot in a woman, and my transition goals, I think it would just be a circle. I want long blonde hair, sky blue nails, not afraid to show off her body. I keep calling it sluttiness, but, it's probably just confidence. Confidence is sexy after all. Confidence in myself and my body, to think I'm hot shit. Not in a condescending way, mind you. I've been talked down to enough to know how it feels.

Oh, I don't wonder. I've never been more sure. I've ditched all my old clothes, and have been wearing leggings and tank tops the entire time. Since coming out to my family, I'm less nervous to go out. I've even felt comfortable enough to use the women's room!

I did a thought experiment with my son yesterday while playing GTA with him, and redid my character as my transition goals, not some gross charicature of what I think I'll look like (how they have a hundred hair styles and they all suck idk. Maybe it's just my potato computer) It was so enthralling, and he redid his character with his goals. I didn't know I wanted tattoos and ear piercings 😳 and when I got into my favorite car, woo. I want to wear booty shorts and crop tops, and am so looking forward to when I feel more comfortable to wear it.

My son is trying to take a bit better care of himself since he tasted euphoria. I've started taking better care of myself since I've started my journey. Brushing my teeth more, shaving daily(someone said the other day, having the right goals is a great motivator), caring more about my hair, my presentation. I just thought I needed to put on clothes and look semi decent. Now I care about my appearance. I care if I wear ratty clothes now.

Genuinely, I am so sorry your interactions with your parents make my mom seem supportive. She asked me why I couldn't wait a couple of years to come out, so the kids could be out of the house, and, to reiterate, said I was selfish.

My dad was the supportive one.

I love the positivity you are wishing on me, and I agree. I've been known to make things worse with my overhelping. And she doesn't want anything from me anyways. You're right, I have to worry about my babies, I have to worry about myself. She's a strong woman. She can figure herself out.

Thank you, love. I'm so happy for you, and I hope my appointment goes as well soon. I love for you your love is so into you, and I am glad you are seeing some body positivity. I found a bit earlier, and was gushing to the kids about my ideal body and they were so into it. Thank you for your uplifting message

Funny, one day at a time... It's what my mom always says.

The (ex?) wife forced my hand today. She threatened to out me to my family, so while I was at the hospital pith my youngest cuz he was vomiting coffee grounds from stress, I did a big group message with both my brothers (one I came out to already), my dad, my mom, and her (so she couldn't accuse me of saying anything untoward).

Laid it all out. That I have an appointment with my GP on the seventh. That I wanted bottom surgery (cuz she said in the group "why don't you tell them you want boobs and you wanna turn your penis inside out?!"). That I hated my body hair, and have been happily wearing women's clothes for a week.

Dad was surprisingly happy for me.

Mom, unsurprisingly, called me selfish (??) And suggest one of the kids go with the wife, one stays with me, and one lives with her (??!!?!).

Hadn't heard from my youngest brother, but he's a conspiracy theory nutcase, sooo.....

Course, mom wanted me to call her about an hour ago, but I'm not having any of that. Especially since she keeps calling me son. Dad was respectful enough to ask what to call me.

I don't get her. Why does someone who said they loved me, wish me so much hate just because I want to be myself?