I need to contact a Pro Max adult

Yeah. When I was 2 years into my working life (in tech), I was still taking advice from my dad (who worked in two government agencies his entire life). When I told him I'm switching jobs (for the first time), he told me to consider working in government because the longer you work there, the better your pension at retirement. This was at a time when the tech boom was starting, IT jobs were becoming the highest paid in the market, and switching every couple of years gets you paid better than a promotion. As a 20 year old in tech, the low salaries in government wasn't exactly enticing.

My parents give me good advice but they think their advice is scale invariant. I wish life could be sunshine and hospitality in my small community but unfortunately I'm no sunshine and I live in a metropol with amalgamation of different cultures with opposing politeness expectations.

The only advice from them I take seriously is stuff that has nothing to do with society as a whole. Basically stuff like what to do about some random bug in my apt. Sometimes I bounce ideas around about something I'm considering doing (which is mostly just me thinking to myself but with an audience).

And which one of those are you... ?

You like that turkey and gravy do ya?

I'm continually amazed that my mom manages to function in the world with all her crazy beliefs and issues.

Must be one of these "Alpha Males" I keep hearing about. People need to wait until the male is at least at Release Candidate state before deploying.

SMH my head

Its always been my impression that Lemmy appeals towards politically charged young adults in their 20s and 30s. Theres something about the anti-authoritarian stance of fediverse that appeals to the rebelious angsty liberal arts types. Keep in mind though these are just the most vocal whos opinions youll see most im sure theres plenty of people with good parent relations who just scrolled past without commenting. These types are old enough to realize the flaws of their upbringing and cook it into their woe-is-me victim complex but not yet experienced enough with life to grow past, let it go, and forgive despite. Really I do think having some older kids in your life helps put a perspective on the other side of things. Parenting isn't easy especially when your life isn't going so well to begin with.

A 2013 study looking at personality disorders and Internet use found that being online more hours per day predicted signs of SzPD. Additionally, SzPD correlated with lower phone call use and fewer Facebook friends.

That's my excuse.

Lol think about the kind of people that seek out an alternative to oppressive/censoring corpo networks and it does make some sense.

I love my mom, she's far from perfect and has some narcissistic tendencies (which have been passed on to me even though I try to be cognicent of them) I have absolutely called her or my dad when I just needed someone to tell me things are going to be OK.

But I try to be self sufficient as much as possible (my wife helps a lot too ofc)

I wouldn't think too much into it. I guess that most users here just don't have older kids yet, so they might lack the perspective of being the ones to give advice that kids don't listen to.

My own kids aren't that old yet and will still listen, but I really hope that one day they will stop listening, because then I know I've taught them to be independent.

i half agree with you, but like my parents raised me in a cult. i'm old enough we're helping them now.

I’m a parent now. I dread having to break to my kids that I have no idea what I am doing. For now, the kid is a toddler. Hopefully I will gain magical insight soon

You are just stuck with what you got for your entire life.

YMMV - Your Mom May Vary.

It was difficult to accept but after talking with a therapist, and years of being discouraged every time I talked to her, I made the same realization and stopped telling her about most of my life. Everyone is much happier if we don't talk about this. Otherwise she will tell me I took all the wrong decisions and that I should have stayed miserable because that's how it works.

She (and all of her family) is afraid of pretty much everything. So as soon as you can secure a job, you keep it; for life! Even if it destroys your body or your mental, you have a job so keep it! Don't go to school, it's just a waste of money. Don't look elsewhere because it's not going to be better anyway. It's even causing conflict in her family because one of her sister is a nurse and is "too educated". They consider her snobbish.

It's my mother, I love her, but I can't tell her anything or it's going to be worse for both of us.

That's the phone cord.

Im like half of this. I'll never compete with my father, though, lol. He just seems to know how to fix and do everything. The only thing I can do for him is computers, and I feel bad because it's nowhere near what he can do and has done for me. Like how im basically broke and in debt and needed a car bad since my last one was 18 years old and he didnt want to keep fixing it or want to fix it because something bad was probably gonna happen soon. So he loans me the money and we buy my cousins car they were going to trade in... within the first month, the entire engine is shot. Dealership wants 9k, so he's like, nah. Tow to his house, and he buys a new engine online for 3k and puts it in himself. Took him some time, but he just finished a few weeks ago and has been driving it for 500 miles to make sure it's OK. I'm about to get it back this weekend.

My entire basement flooded a month ago from leaky water heater and then find out after everything was demolished and removed that there were also 5 different leaks in water pipes as well. He just came by and replaced all the plumbing with new pipes while it was exposed in 1 day.

The list goes on, but you get the point. I seriously have no clue what I would do without him, and I know he is getting older now so its kind of scary to think about. I got about 1 more year of debt, and I should be ok after that, thankfully. I'll never forget everything he has done to help. It sucks that a lot of people never get to have something like that.

I remember back when my mom was just anxious. That was bad enough, and meant that I'd avoid sharing any problems with her because she'd worry too much. Since then she's gone off the deep end, believing just about every conspiracy theory that exists. So, now it's not just that I avoid sharing any problems, or any deep things. I actively have to watch everything I say around her to avoid triggering a rant involving a conspiracy theory.

I think the anxiety fed into the conspiracies. IMO many conspiracy theorists feel a complete lack of control over their lives, and conspiracy theories make them feel better because they can blame "the powers that be" for their problems. And, even if they still feel out of control, they at least feel like they know the hidden truth of what's happening. Knowing that hidden truth makes them less anxious. The world is still scary and they have no control, but someone has control, even if it's someone evil. It's not just random things happening with no plan.

Anyhow, I hope your mom just stays anxious and doesn't go nuts like mine.

I know it. My wife and I are opposites in this regard. She wants her parents input on everything. I am staunchly opposed to help, even if it takes me twice as long to do it.

The antipathy is real