3d ago

Instant shin annihilator

This is supposedly a EV battery ejection system to make battery fires easier to control. Pedestrians and cyclists had best say goodbye to their lower legs.

Source

76 comments

Fits perfectly with the general "fuck everyone else" nature of cars.
- Of certain car owners.
  
  Cars and car culture in general really. The owners are usually lovely people but it's their car that is polluting, getting in the way, injuring people, boiling the planet etc.
  
  nope. of cars in general, at least in North America
  too big, too offensive, too many resources
  
  "Not all car owners"
  /sj

Just wait till the car gets hacked and some one starts remotely erecting batteries.
- Erecting?
  I sat here for a good two minutes trying to find something witty and funny to say Finally all I really want to do is tell you that you used the wrong word.
  
  Could be worse.
  In my job they send a copy of all the health and safety stuff to each employee once a year. Part of that is something about fire safety.
  For some reason they didn't send me the German original version but the English translation instead.
  In there it says that the fire safety officer alone is responsible for all erections.
  We had a good laugh.
  
  Yeah stupid auto correct. I’m just leaving it
  
  Fuck it if the car can erect its own batteries I think it's overengineered

Yea! Shoot the burning battery right under the fuel tanker in the lane next to you!
- If this becomes common, eventually there will be a chain reaction on a crowded grid-locked freeway.
  It will work something like this:
  Nuclear Fission
  Oh the huge manatee!
  
  Oh, I thought you were referring to the Ford Nucleon...

Tfw the car catch fire and you're stepping out but the car yeet the problem right back at you
- Stepping outk if it's not a Tesla ;)
- No. American drivers sit on the left side. This would only kill filthy passengers.
  
  No.
  Besides the fact that I hate this uppity way of saying no, the first commenter didn't really say whether or not the driver was the one getting out.

I’m picturing a crew of emergency responders approaching. They all get taken out “in the name of safety”, and the rest decide to vote with the legs they still have and refuse to approach

Was my problem, now it's your problem. It's called hot potato.

My immediate thought was, why not use this to enable standardized quick-swappable batteries? Maybe not with quite as much ejection force though.
- My first thought when it popped out the side of the car was "I wonder if I could surf that battery across the road..."
- This seems like it would solve any issues with range as well. Instead of stopping for hours to recharge you could just swap the battery (for a small fee).

RIP first responders.

Good luck ejecting a spicy pillow(it'll probably get stuck in place)

What happens if the frame gets bent in a wreck? I guess you’re probably not any worse off than you are currently in a wreck with an EV, but it seems a little silly to make this rely on the car not getting too crumpled during a car wreck to work.
- "a little silly", is a very kind way to describe it

That's a total non starter. There is zero chance this ever gets implemented.

this can't go wrong.
a scared person hurting someone innocent? inconceivable with this device

Another point: When those batteries get bad, don't they blow up? And wouldn't this make the battery jam in place?
- If anything, the force will probably make it worse. Why not just kick the unstable, explosive battery that’s now stuck in place.
  Dumb idea.
  
  Yep. There is a lot of dumb in this design. I'd say some manager pissed his pants about his ass in an EV and demanded a solution... any solution.

Somewhere in a Vega's parking lot.... Pop! Poppop! Pop pop! Pop pop pop! Pop! Pop!
Pop pop pop pop pop!
Pop pop!

hey I watched this episode of ST: TNG
- Stranger Things. The Next Generation
  Nailed it

I thought this was antitheft at first lmao.
Imagine trying to steal a car and it just sweeps your legs.

This totally won't be abused in case of road rage, absolutely not.
- Yarg ye sons of scallywags, fire the starboard cannons!

Terrified 1%ers knowing they’ve got targets pasted on them.

Im assuming this would only be an option for first responders.
- If this has a physical engineering requirement I'll be shocked, they'll give the AI control of it for emergencies and act surprised when it randomly activates in traffic.

Imagine driving in a tunnel or stopping next to s wall...

Looks so fucking safe.. /s

Why not just make nonincendiary batteries...?
- The fact that it's a battery means that it's incindiary
  
  Are all batteries incendiary?
  
  An incendiary is something designed to cause a fire and if that big ass battery catches fire enough that it needs a fucking ejection port then they clearly aren't designing it enough to not cause a fire so close enough so far as I'm concerned. My phone's lithium battery has never caught fire for example.
- Oh I just got an idea how to be a billionaire!
  
  How's that

76 comments