Cruz’s Claim He Returned to Texas as ‘Fast as Humanly Possible’ Crumbles

I don’t know how many of these disasters happen in Texas, but this guy manages to dodge them with stunning accuracy.
If he weren’t in a leadership role it would be amazing.
- I don't think he has any advanced warning, he probably just is on vacation so much, the odds are in his favor that he'll be out of state when something bad happens.
  When you're a useless lazy piece of shit like him, of course you've fucked off to anywhere else but where the work is.
  
  Don't a lot of bad things also tend to happen in Texas, given the awesome management team they've got there?
  
  He like many senators, has a house in the state he represents and it's marked his primary address on his taxes.
  But Cancun Cruz the disgrace to Canada doesn't spend any time there.
- He's some kind of indicator species. When he migrates, it's time to stockpile water and food. Way cheaper than expensive satellites or weather balloons.
  
  I had a team leader ten years ago or more when I worked in a incident management room, where he would be the duty manager for the south of the UK.
  You could tell something was going to happen or a griefy job was coming in, because he'd nip out for a removed for fifteen minutes just seconds before the first phone call would come in.
  It was almost impressive, and once most of the policy or callout decisions had been made, he'd come back in with a cup of tea oblivious to the whole thing.
  Absolute legend of a bloke really, I was just jealous that I didn't have that sixth sense.
  
  I don't know about cheaper considering his chronic vacationing is on the taxpayer's dime.
  
  Oh you mean evil liberal weather manipulation devices?
- Texas's infrastructure is so horrible that you honestly don't need a lot of warning to get the hell out.
  Even "those clouds look kind of dark" is good odds of SOMETHING that will cause a disaster to some level.

and people whose kids died will still vote for him
- Honestly, it’s constituencies like Cruz’s that I have essentially zero sympathy for. The fact that he keeps getting reelected when he’s an extremely obvious limpdick, servile, malicious fascist is a reflection on the caliber of the voters across the state. So, hope you enjoy all those catastrophic weather events that are definitely not caused by totally-made-up-and-definitely-not-real-or-life-threatening climate change (/s because internet)
- It's the antithesis of "vote blue no matter who".
  "Vote red, if your kids are brown bread".
  I actually feel dirty just writing that.
  
  Should I feel proud or embarrassed that I have no clue what "your kids are brown bread" means?
  
  You could've just said dead in the context of the floods
- If Musk wanted to make an impact with his new political party, he should go after Cruz's seat. Nobody likes Cruz, even in his own party, but Texans won't vote for a democrat.
  Ultimately, I hope his new party splits the GOP vote, but for that to happen they have to have a decent chance to win a few seats.
  
  i'm definitely overly pessimistic at this point, but i think this "new party" is going to go exactly nowhere. but if it does, and it splits the R vote, then i guess that's something
  
  Musk has a new party?

Why dont Republicans want to deport Cruz? I dont get it.
- They would, but he's never in the country. Always galavanting as far from his constituents as he can.
  
  I mean, you would too if they were your constituents. They voted for him, after all.
- My guess is that he's useful to them, for now.
  They'll eventually cast him aside like the trash he is. He either doesn't know it, or he's in denial.
- He's got that magic R next to his name

He got swept up in a torrential flood of not-caring-for-america.
- Not just American, but his own constituents.
  Unfortunately the morons will vote for him no matter what he does (or doesn't do).
  
  I don't know how the fucker keeps winning, I've never met anyone who admitted to voting for him.

I do not like that man Ted Cruz
- I do not like his far right views
  
  I did not select his name in the ballot box

Why does he bother saying things like this? He can just say "Fuck you all, you're going to re-elect me no matter what I do." And they will.

Celebrating independence day touring Europe after supporting a fascist who is the antithesis of "independence" and the embodiment of everything Americans fought against.
Shitty American.
- At least he was in Greece and not Moscow - like some congresscritters I could name.

Yet Texas voters keep landsliding this absolute coward back into office. Nevermind he has abandoned his constituents at every major natural disaster. Even Chip Roy, who is arguably a bigger fucking idiot than he is, was there before him.
Edit reminder: Dude even abandon's his dog in the worst ice storm of his state's history! I don't care if his security guard was watching him, people were freezing to death!
- I think very few Texans ever voted for Cruz because they actually like or know about him. He has the R next to his name and that's good enough.
  
  Honestly, I think that's depressingly common the world over.
  
  100% this they'll always vote R or abstain from voting. The argument abstaining from voting causes low voter turnout, which elects elects more Rs doesn't matter.

Ted Cruz is exactly the neighbor you think he is. A fucking creeper. https://youtu.be/eZzD1L1XXCc

They lie.
We know they are lying.
They know that they are lying.
They even know that we know they are lying.
We also know that they know we know they are lying.
They, of course, know that we certainly know they know we know they are lying.
Yet they still lie.
In Russia, the lie has become not just a moral category, but the pillar industry of this country.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008)
.
In the U.S. the lie has become not just a moral category, but the pillar industry of this country. shrugs Must be all that money.
SeeMarkFly (2025)
- With a username like that, I’d highly recommend staying away from buildings with windows that extend beyond the first floor.
  
  And never suggest reasonable solutions to problems in a conference room above the third floor.

I believe ted cruz has the most punchable face in politics. I don't even think you'd hurt your hand. It just looks soft and squishy.
- Ajit Pai when he was around.
- Woah woah woah. His punchability doesn't compare to the absolutely smashable Mitch McConnell
  
  the absolutely smashable Mitch McConnell
  I just wanted to quote you out of context.
  
  I'd go with Marjorie The Gathering myself. Yeah yeah you're not supposed to hit a woman, but I'm not convinced she's even human let alone a woman.
  
  I'd be afraid of him retracting his head back into his shell and hitting that instead.
  
  I imagine it would feel a bit like punching a pile of dried leaves.
- Mike Johnson’s comes to mind
- You've never seen christopher pyne
  
  Pyne’s voice enhances punchability by a factor of at least 10. Embodiment of the word snivelling.
- ....Matt Gaetz enters the chat.
  (or Stephen Miller. Or Curtis Yarvin. Or Roger Stone. Or Richard Spencer. Or Donnie Jr. )

Cancun Cruz is in Greece this time, must be nice.

"I came as fast as I felt like"
- A Zodiac Killer is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

Texans keep re-electing him so I guess they're good with his actions
- He's in tight with O&G, his wife literally works for Goldman Sachs, and he's jumped into Opus Dei. The man has more money and institutional support than any three other Senators you could name, despite being a turd in the Texas punch bowl the rest of the year.
  Meanwhile, his most competent opponents have been the Skateboarding Take Your Guns guy chanting "demographics is destiny" to a bunch of conservative Latinos and the Linebacker in sheriff cosplay who ran on being tougher on the border than Republicans.
  When your options are constantly Republican or Republican Lite, is there any surprise when the Republican wins?

Fuck him and his constituents, they love the abuse. If they didn’t they would have gotten rid of him the first dozen times he did this shit. At this point it’s Cruz’s trademark to run away during a crisis. And Texas fucking loves it.
On a side note, how does big bad Texas have such a soft, wimpy, sad excuse for a man as their rep? Maybe he represents the true Texan man

I'm a Republican and WHO CARES? What's he Supposed to do ANYWAYS? FUND Weather Services and Natural Disaster Services that could have Prevented the Deaths and Helped with the Cleanup? That's STUPID! That's NOT Why I pay TAXES! I Pay taxes so JEFF BEZOS can Afford a NEW JET and THATS IT!
- What’s funny is these people could afford anything regardless of what taxes they pay. By not taxing them, we only hurt ourselves.

Rafael's vacations are higher priorities than the well-being of his constituents.
- Ted Cruz is a dick, but really, what is he actually going to accomplish by being there? I completely get that in the modern media world, a politician needs to be seen at the disaster site. They need to have their picture taken next to the heavy machinery, and talking with actual people doing the disaster relief work (ideally not while wearing goofy white boots).
  But, really, I would assume that his presence will just interfere with the work. Maybe he could be useful in his office, answering phones from concerned people, coordinating longer-term plans. But, I'm sure it's just a matter of time before we see him in jeans at a disaster site because... that's important.
  
  His presence would surely interfere, but ideally, politicians are supposed to bring their elected authority to bear by coordinating resources (as you describe). It's much more effective to do that when you're physically present, or at least not on a Mediterranean vacation six timezones away.
  
  Ted Cruz is a dick, but really, what is he actually going to accomplish by being there?
  Performative photo op everything to shit, probably.

Ted Cruz is a piece of shit and there's nothing we could do to him to make up for his malice and ineptitude. Though I'd be willing to see some attempts.

"I got here as fast as a felt like getting here!"
-Ted Cruz
probably

Terminal velocity is as fast as humanly possible. Drop his ass out of the plane next time.
- The plane has a faster terminal velocity than a person
  
  But that's faster than the human by itself can go making it inhumanely possible.
  I'm just kidding. I have no idea if what i said even made sense after a wake bake but I really want him to drop from a plane.

He's shit, but what could he possibly do if he rushed back to Texas?
- Grovel and beg for forgiveness after actively cutting NOAA budget? Personally drive a truck full of food/water/clothing for people displaced? Literally just show up and offer your condolences to your contituents (regardless of how obviously fake it'd be)?
  Like, basic human things you should be doing to show that you care about the people you supposedly represent? Vs: fuck it, I'm on vacation, they'll still be dead when I get home.
  Guess what: politicians for all their grand standing about lazy entitled welfare recipients work about 130 total days a year, he can go see the parthenon some other time.
- Considering he's their elected representative he ought to do some representing.
  
  So yelling racial slurs at the water/shooting the water, or even both at the same time until it subsides...?

I mean it sure takes some time for the news to get from America to Europe. Probably like a day or two, right?
- Poor telegram deliverer... Running all around Athens looking for the Zodiac killer