8mo ago

Thats fair

135 comments

Banger post. Deaf community goes hard
- Sorry, can't hear you over my massive dong.
  
  I'm blind, but I feel you

Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.
Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.
- I wouldn't be optimistic, something else may break
- Everything else is perfect? You don't have joints?
  
  Just an immortal pile of goo.
  
  My joints are as good now as when I was 21, and they are supported by my broad range of glorious and balanced musculature.

My brain, i hate being neurodivergent it'd be so great to just fOCUSSS
- It's funny, there's a local TV program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn't dare ask them directly and "would you rather not have it" is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it's not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did "I would much rather not have any issues!"
  
  The adults: I learned to live with it and now it became part of my identity
  The kids: this sucks! everyone's mean to me and the world makes no sense!
- I'd upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn't want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!
  Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn't rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.
  
  Aren’t those 3 things though?
- monkey's paw curls
  
  When a monkey's paw's last wish is spent, you have a monkey's fist.
- The only upgrade I want is to be able to control the hyperfocus
- Me too with brain, I hate not being able to socialize.
- Considering what it means to be "normal" around me, I'd rather be divergent.
  But then again, I manage to focus well enough.

I already have a big cock. So I would choose a bigger cock.
- Hey, spare some cock for us too!
  Hmm i think i worded that wrong...

Definitely my spine. There's a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.
- Is it a form problem?

better brain
with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs
- Congrats. You now feel anxiety twice as intensely.
  
  yeah but now I can buy 2x the anxiety meds because of all my money

Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!
- not an organ and having a stronger immune system would kill you
  
  Post didn’t say stronger it said upgrade. And it wouldn’t be an upgrade if it killed me!

Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne
- From now on you're french
  
  Merde!

Probably brain, responsetime
Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick
- I think somewhere on the internet there is a whole ass manhwa based on this concept
- Good newss! If you use a massage gun pressed right to the base of your dick, it vibrates like a vibrator.
  Great trick if she's on top, fun for everyone

I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.

Infinite wishes situation : upgrade your brain such that you are sufficiently smart to bio-engineer all the other organs.
- Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you're just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.
- Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence? What if your brain upgrade becomes an emotional downgrade?
  
  You could always downgrade your brain again after you're done.
  
  Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence?
  Is there even a correlation?

Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you'd have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.
- That's a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.
  
  Yeah, I'm just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.
  
  I have a friend who's losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn't really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else
- Unless your lungs fail
  
  The heart will take that on after the lung layoff.

I'd upgrade my balls so that they aren't vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill's purse and get away with it.

All y'all are picking dick.
But the correct answer is the balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.
- How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!
- Careful with that, you probably wouldn't want to end up in a StuG III Ausf B situation
  
  rubbing a monkey's paw
  Oh no! I didn't realize I was asking for Nazi balls!
- You'll be limited by shaft resilience before reload time, especially over multi-day operations.
- that's okay my homies can hook me up with a reload

Sinuses. Those fuckers are overdue for an upgrade. Can you imagine never being congested again?
Brain is the right answer but sinuses are #2.

Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.
- Isn't that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.
  
  But I'll die.
  I guess this isn't a good pick.
  
  Rethinking this... no. I'm UPGRADING the liver to keep me drunk for 3 years and 9 months to not be sober. The upgrade is drunk and not dying, and another part of the upgrade is filtering out all the additional calories.
- Wouldn't being able to enter a coma on demand be more useful ? Wake up in 4 years...
  
  Yes, but which organ do you upgrade to do that?

Brain is a no-brainer. It's okay as it is, but having an optimal one sounds terrific
- Would it still be you after the upgrade?
  
  Without the upgrade I don't know. My knowledge of what constitutes my personality visavi my intelligence and such is too lacking, but I guess I would change
  
  if i were smarter, i'd be able to answer that
  
  Gee I sure hope not
- Id like to switch my autism on and off

my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade

As an audiophile, probably my ears. I wanna be able to hear over 19khz.
- I can hear slightly higher frequencies than most, or at least I used to be able to. Back when TVs used cathode ray tubes I'd have problems with the small portable TVs because they would emit an annoying high pitched tone. Even high pitched tones unintentionally mixed into records. The world is designed for people with typical senses.
  
  My buddy has a CRT. It makes a very high pitched noise, close to 18900hz. But it's not above what most people can hear, most humans can hear up to 20,000hz. Over time this decreases of course. But every time I go to this guy's house I can hear the CRT going, so loud, so annoying.
- Yep, super hearing for me too please. Imagine actually being able to appreciate 192khz recordings... damn. Actually, I don't even think my HD600s go that high
- Ok but it needs to be an 'activable' skill, if it's always on it could be a nightmare with all kinds of background noises continuously ringing in your ear.

Deafinitly one of the choices

Skeletal structure.
This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.

My bones.
Also I checked, bones are an organ.

One of:
eyes to see a wider spectrum of light (infrared to gamma-ray)
ears to increase sensitivity or reduce it close to 0 a will
nose to smell all dangerous stuff that is odourless (carbon monoxide f.e.)
muscles not to lose training after a few days (I am not sure that wouldn't fuck up methabolism)
have an organ to catch radiowaves (while being capable to switch it off)
brown fat cells to never feel cold (with added super bonus that they also kill cancer by starving it)
liver to remove toxins without being easily damaged
The choice is difficult :)
- Brown fat cells would also make you burn more calories doing nothing
  
  If you're in a first world country and making a decent salary that just becomes a lower chance of obesity and diabetes

I would upgrade my brain to be able to consciously control all the little automatic stuff. Tell my brain to up the metabolic rate when I want to burn more fat, increase heart rate when exercising, basically to be able to consciously control all functions of my body at will.
- I can't be trusted with direct control of the of my pleasure center of my brain.
  
  You could control yourself to control yourself. Add sudo permissions to it with a max use of once a day.

Tough call...
Do you pick the one that will probably kill you or the one making quality of life kinda shit.
Awkward when fixing the organ doesn't fix the problems with it
(•_•)
- Idk cause making my pp bigger in my mind fixes all of my problems.

Upgrade my eyes so I can sense different wavelengths of light at will. I would also make them very resistant to blindness.

I'd like to upgrade my penis into super penis, two barrels, break action instead of the pump action, then I'll create a new sex act called "Quakeing", where you strafe around your sexual partner while constantly ejaculating on them with your super penis.
- Welp, that's enough internet for today
- You want a break action penis, so you have to manually reload every couple of shots? Nah, you want belt fed, just hold the trigger and go!

I'd upgrade my ass so that I didn't need to shit, it just like teleported the poop somewhere
- Absolutely no way, finishing a good poo is such a relief.
  
  You can still do it, just anywhere.

My stamina is shit so lungs.

He he he

[Cyberpunk 2077 music]
/meme

I was born flatfooted. I'd make my feet and legs normal.

Classic.

Been playing Lies of P and I find it funny to say I would upgrade my P-Organ. 😏

I would like a second of the same dong. undecided as to configuration (over-and-under vs. side-by-side)
- Under/over of course.
  \ You can be a one-man DP

Since when is a dick an organ?
- Reproductive organ

I want my tits to be able to shoot lasers at will, it'd be cool.
- You mean something like this?
  
  More like holding it up like a gun.

Liver

Upgrade my butt. Poot existential dread instead of regular feces.
- It definitely didn't end the way I expected
- I used to think that if I could have a superpower I'd like to be able to take a big rancid shit at will, but open up a portal so it would arrive in the pants of a person of my choosing. But these days, what's the point? Most world leaders could be absolutely destroyed by a well timed beer dump, but Trump wouldn't even notice anything unusual.

135 comments