What do you pick rule.

Free gravel. That's building material. You can always sell building material.

But then you would never learn the secrets of the oysters.
- secrets of the oysters.
  
  Yo, this dirty ocean water be bussin'
- Pretty sure the only thing oysters will say to you is "fuck off".
I cannot tell you how many ways free gravel for life would help me, but it’s definitely a lot
- Pun not intended
But if it's free, you can't sell it. Otherwise it would no longer be free.

EDITH: I'm surprised how many downvotes your getting for posting a shit post in a shitposting community :-D
- Free for me, not for thee.
- With comprehension like that You could be a financial advisor for the US government.

Gravel is expensive if you're doing a lot of landscaping. I'll supply all of the entrepeneurs in the area and make a fortune.

For real, free gravel for life is the choice. You can start a gravel business and sell that shit. According to Google a 100ft driveway can cost upwards of $3k to gravel.
- The real question is, does free gravel mean you can spawn gravel? Or buy it for free? Both require a good amount of logistical planning to take advantage of to build a gravel empire
- With a 12ft width, that’s about 15-18” subbase, which is overkill. Wondering if that $3k includes installation.
This.
Free gravel for life is OP! (probly gets nerfed in the next update)

Would need the details on some of these.

The empty container depends on the definition of "container" and "empty". If a house is a container for people it's easy to rob when empty. If you have to be looking at an airless vacuum it's dogshit. Otherwise I'm sure you could make money with a creative gambling scheme.
Gravel for life, like an infinite bucket full? Or the typical "for life" shit where you just get one trailer full dumped in your driveway every year for 60 years. Probably an overrated pick.
Teleporting is almost certainly the best pick. Is there a cool down? Do you keep momentum? Can it be in any direction? Does it take the same effort as walking? If you can spam it at the speed thought, you're now flying. Even with a CD you could be a world class athlete in a lot of sports. Or just do simple stuff like reach a high shelf or teleport out of handcuffs.

Or just do simple stuff like reach a high shelf or teleport out of handcuffs.

Teleporting out of you handcuffs also implies you'd lose your clothes every time you teleport.
- I don't see the issue?

Number three will get you through most all fences, walls, and locked doors. Become ungovernable.

Hopefully it's a7 inch gap, if it's 7 inches from center mass you're not really fully shifting position.
- And the minute you do it wrong you’ve fused with a fence or a steel door or something and are probably dead so it would require a ton of practice to know your limits
- True true
- I too assume it's 7" from center of mass. So not even beyond the boundary of my body.

Gravel ofc. Just imagine being able to provide every construction site on earth with cheap gravel with no cost at all. I'd be the first billionaire on earth who didn't fuck other people over to be absurdly rich.

Thought the same thing but it doesn't say how the gravel is obtained. I assume there's still going to be transportation costs and "life" could be as short as how long it takes to be smothered by a heap of free gravel. I am suspicious.

3 for sure. Depending on how teleporting into other objects works, and how fast you can spam it, you could get some serious work done with a power like that.

yeah, #3 is a time machine if you can spam it faster than light can travel 7 inches
When you play Noita you discover that the way to move fast is to teleport shorter distance possible and spam it. It is also better for avoiding obstacles

Being able to see inside empty containers has its uses because you can always check if you can see into it and know something’s in it. Knowing IF something has contents can be plenty useful.

Can I use .3 as some sort of short-range contiguous Alcubierre drive, by using it repeatedly very fast?

Number seven. And then piss off every "pea under shell" trickster, because you can see which shells are empty.

I'll give you a hint, they're all empty.
But aren't the shells more covers than containers?

I shall abuse these toaster powers thoroughly and for my own amusement. Every toaster on the planet will go off at the same time!

I'm torn. Kinda curious about what oysters are thinking, but pretty sure Einstein could run faster than me.

I don’t think he can run very fast now though 🤔
It doesn't specify Einstein's age. Plus this ability would be priceless for people in wheelchairs.
- Didn't think about the wheelchair thing, good point. Anyway, I got a shitty cardio, during most of his time on earth, old Albert who have beaten me in a 100m sprint.

Number 7 might let you cheat at some carnival/gambling games. Which of these 1000 boxes has the million dollars in it? The one I can't see through, of course!

Play carnival game

Guess the box!

Only one box isn't empty

Open it

Tissue paper

"Better luck next time!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UGuPvrsG3E
But.. no container is truly empty.
Usually they contain air, but even in space there'd be one or two molecules banging around inside.
You'd never see anything.

Can run as fast as Albert Einstein

Now, or when he was alive?

yes.

A manga artist would find a way to make one of these the most op power in their entire universe. "I can fill anyones lungs with gravel with just a thought" or " i teleported 5 cms into you and severed a nerve in your spine that paralyzes you for life"

Shhh! Thats Elasta-girl's big secret!

3 or 7.

Doesn't mention any cooldown on the teleport so I could probably spam it which would make it useful.

7 sounds stupid but it could be actually useful in some situations.

Most humans can already teleport 7 inches instantly... It's called walking. The free gravel is where it's at!
- Do you use a different definition of 'instantly' or do you have some secret arcane knowledge

Teleporting 7 inches still sounds kinda badass, would be very useful in a fight or you could just stand and repeatedly teleport to recreate that OK GO video.

If I grow a second nose, will it also be stuffed up? If so, I choose teleportation. I know it's only 7 inches but that's enough to get around most doors so it's still useful.

That depends on how thick both you and the door are. Still, its probably the best one there.
Both noses will be running all the time, but just as fast as the noses of Albert Einstein.

How does the free gravel thing work? Can I just summon it in a location of my choice? Or is there a guy who delivers it to me?

It spawns in your gizzard

I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE COCAINE WITH ANOTHER NOSE

Speaking a dead language would be cool. Maybe teach it to others and read into the history, etymology and people of it. Talk to historians and what not.

3 will get you past most any locked door or fence.

Only if you are thinner than 7" minus the thickness of the door. Otherwise, you would teleport right into the door, which (I assume) might be quite painful.
- Good point.. It's not as far as I thought
- EAsy way to lose weight though. Who needs weak flesh amiright

cureently doing a massive landscape job, then moving to a friend's place for same and putting in a bunch of paving. free gravel pls

I feel as though there is money making opportunity in 8. The language is dead? Nobody alive who can speak the language, so I'd have more or less free reign to profit off of being the only person who could speak it.

Sure but selling gravel has instant world wide business opportunities. Gravel is the better money making option.
- Eh, the easier money making scheme of selling gravel just seems boring to me
Good luck finding someone to talk to
- Best case scenario, I find some linguist willing to pay me to help with their understanding of the language. Worst case scenario, I'm the only person who can speak this language.
  
  Also, if nothing else, I could impress people by being the only person in the world who speaks a specific language.

There's no rule saying I can't pick more than one so

2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8

I could turn a lil profit off the gravel, surely.

Please, someone tell me where I can find a full Sub of these! I love these so much.

for me 🤔it's a toss up between 1 and 2.

1 can lead me to pearls = money 2 I can create a gravel for sale business = money.

I guess I choose 1 just to communicate with something weird. 2 is the easier one.

Just because you can communicate with them doesn't mean they want to talk to you.
- you don't know if I'm into that sort of thing.

Who defines what is a toaster? Could the whole universe be considered one since it heats up bread? Yes, it does some other stuff in the process but so do some other toasters.

Since we are toasted, yep

I think 3 is the most useful. You can use it to reach things just out of your height range and maybe as a party trick. I'm sure there are other uses for it too, given enough time I could probably think of some other uses too.

There's no mention of a cool down. You can repeat it as soon as you've fully materialised at the first 7–inch destination. Assuming teleportation is immediate, and there's no refractory period, the distance limit is effectively meaningless.

Looking 10 hours younger would go crazy as an autopsy thing in a murder mystery

toaster control, if there's no limits I can fire toast as fast as a bullet

and scan the sam artists with their cups back!

How often can you teleport?

"What is the meaning of toaster?" Is a powerful question. Either able to push buttons and push levers down if the intent is toasting bread, or making a heat coil glow with the intent of cooking bread. Either way, the nuclear industry would be ratically altered. Theres also just a industrial toast factory secretly sponsored by big "nuclear" deticated to making, shipping and toasting bread as slowly as possable. With propaganda for toast simmar to "Got Milk?"

Control the toaster in a smart home that's connected to the system and hack into the security system to kill the inhabitants and hand over the building to homeless and mutual aid organizations #eattherich

Wait did you just take all of them?

None? Lol

Free Mike Gravel for life!