how's your week going, Beehaw
how's your week going, Beehaw
the Super Bowl halftime show was pretty good, they should consider continuing the strategy of getting people who aren't totally washed
Received amazing news the other day. However, I need to back up a little bit in order to explain. My wife and I decided to move to Maine 13 years ago after learning it was our best option for raising children. The cold of winters did not, initially, bother me. Over the past 5 winters it has become increasingly difficult dealing with the cold. Physically I can no longer tolerate January/February as I once did. The cold causes me pain in my joints. I have very little body fat so that doesn't help. Also, I love to be outdoors and the cold prevents me from it.
My children are no longer in need of me being around all the time (they can take care of themselves now). So, for the past couple of years I took a week in the middle of January and flew around the USA to visit with family/friends. This did provide me with a significant mental/emotional break in order to get through the winter. Unfortunately, travel is incredibly expensive so that had to be shelved. This has caused me to become depressed this winter...feeling trapped (cabin fever) and no solution in sight.
And then out of nowhere my biological brother tells me that he'll be moving from the Atlanta Georgia area to either Providence RI or the Boston MA area. He'll be making this move within the next 8-10 months. That will place him in either a 3 or 4 hour drive from my home. So, starting next winter I'll be able to take several breaks from the harsh Maine winters by driving to stay with my brother. When my brother told me about his plans to move I had to sit down because I thought I was going to faint. Then I cried tears of joy for the next ten minutes.
That's great news, I'm excited for you :)
Thank you!
Your happy makes me happy 😁
And that, in turn, makes me happy
That's pretty great that you'll get to see your brother and enjoy a break from frigid Maine winters.
I was just looking at some heated ski gear because I also get very cold, very easily, very fast. I hate it, but I really enjoy skiing and I haven't figured out how to get the snow to stick around during the summer yet.
But anyway, there are all kinds of electric socks, undershirts, pants, gloves, etc out there that are very easy to use, with small rechargeable batteries. I wonder if those might help your joint pain, and get you back outside a little bit more? I finally bought some heated insoles for my ski boots this season and it is a game changer for keeping me out in the cold and enjoying myself. I gave a pair of heated socks to a snowboarder friend of mine and he absolutely loves them. I have a heated jacket that lets me get out on my motorcycle when it would otherwise be too chilly. Etc.
Maybe something like this would work for you?
I just feel emotionally fragile. My friend who told me we were through changed his mind and apologized. I understand what he's going through because I've been there too, but I can't shake the feeling everyone's a step away from dropping me. He can apologize for shutting me down and explain how he actually meant it kindly, but I still feel like the most annoying person on the planet.
I have a D&D game with a new group coming up, as well as a queer matchmaking event. The thought of both are making me kind of sick. I've had multiple friendships end in a slow drama spiral. I read so much about conflict resolution and de-escalation and still, I say my piece and the other person starts ranting about how much they hate themselves and how they shouldn't be my friend.
I just keep missing how my friend group used to be. After the vaccine became available in the US, we all took a big trip together and it was one of the nicest memories of my life. We talked about doing more trips in the future. Now I don't know where I stand with any of them.
I'll probably suck it up but I'm tempted to cancel both events. I really want companionship but I can only imagine myself ruining people's self esteem.
Have you heard of 7 cups? It's a lovely community for folks working on their mental health. I have two therapists and started medication now and it's getting my mental state in line, finally. But before all of that I found 7 cups helpful. (https://www.7cups.com/)
That really sucks. I've been the mediator friend for a lot of friendship networks and sometimes it's so exhausting to feel like the only thing keeping people and relationships together. 🫂
It sounds like some of your friends have a lot of self-loathing and they should work on that. While you can encourage them, it's important to know that it's not your job to help everyone around you love themselves. They have to do that work, because otherwise it won't actuallyheal.
It's a lot to put on other people, and all to often people don't even realize they're doing it. Sometimes I think people feel like other people will just only engage at a level they're comfortable with, not realizing there are people out there who will treat it as a duty or responsibility to deal with anything a friend presents them.
Because my medley of neurodivergence and trauma will always tell me to help a friend, at any cost. I have to work hard to not do that.
Don't forget to take time for yourself.
A new thought. I keep reading about dictatorships and fascism and now my anti-depressants are doing some heavy lifting. Reading about Nicaragua, reading about Germany, and now just did a quick peruse of Belarus. And then I look at the US and I'm like... maybe I should read books about nations that recovered from fascism...
If you're in for a tome, there's always The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
Chile has some stories you'd find useful
Nice. Thank you.
Do you ever feel like Sisyphus?
Other than that, things are well. We're getting sunlight again. Spring is coming in a month or two, I get a long weekend this weekend. I got to hug my dogs today. I ate a big spoon of peanut butter.
I have a craving to create. Some kind of moving sculpture or animation, but I have no idea what medium or how I would approach it!
I totally understand that frustrated creativity feeling. It's like a restless swarm of moths pushing at the edges of my brain to get out! To make something! Like part of me will die if I don't!
It's been a while since I messed around with clay. I took a ceramics class in college and my mom had a phase with oven-baked modeling clay- I just haven't had the spoons, but maybe it would be fun.
Learned over the weekend that my sister-in-law is pregnant! Her and my brother have wanted kids for years now so it's super exciting.
I'm from Philly, it was madness! Entertaining madness at least. Folks were riding horses around and everything. People screaming, honking their horns and stuff. I forgot how we can get. Outside of that, I loved the halftime show! I'm so proud of Kendrick!
I keep saying if we can't have anything this fucking year... at least we can have the halftime show.
Oh, right. Some football was played yesterday. I'm just in a holding pattern waiting on the universe to provide next steps by trying to reach out to as many people as possible.
My wife and I have been down with a hella annoying flu since last Tuesday (wife) and Thursday (me). The headaches are insane, I'm barely able to do anything when the painkillers run out. Hoping it'll improve at some point this week because I've not felt any better even a single time so far.
I tried to go outside for a little walk today to get some air and immediately the vibes were off - super windy and cold - so I just went home after 5 minutes :(
I'm so tired of sitting on this couch ugh
My entire family gets the flu shot every fall. Is this something you and your wife would consider?
We are considering it for the future for sure. We're both young though, and usually the seasonal flu is not that bad. There's a particularly nasty strain this year, which is why suddenly it's a real health issue for us too. I'm pretty sure we don't qualify for free flu shots, but we can definitely see if it's affordable.
If I may ask, did you ever suffer from any side effects? I think the flu shot is a good thing in theory, but the day after the second Covid shot I had high fever and muscle pain (it happens to a few select lucky people), and the first booster shot was even worse, so I'm reluctant to try another vaccine that's likely closely related.
Being 'trapped' while you feel awful is the WORST kind of tedium. I hope you get well quickly!
I feel better yeah thank you :)
Pretty amazing. Just got back from a ski trip to Park City. The skiing was great, and I saw a juvenile moose and its mom just below me while on a chairlift, and a bobcat ran right out in front of me on the Boa run in Canyons. Absolutely made my day to see all that wildlife!
I also really liked the halftime show. Kendrick's a great performer and I liked all the small details.
Just learned about Threema. No one uses it, though. But I downloaded it and paid the $7 anyway.
I use it, FWIW. Welcome! It's been established as the default messenger with our family/friends pretty painlessly after SO & me decided to get rid of WhatsApp altogether a few years back. Never looked back - getting rid of the Zuck messenger was an unexpectedly high increase in life quality for various reasons.
Back then I bought lots of license codes when they were like 3 bucks. Probably got some spare ones lying around, if anybody wants one. (Android only, Apple still doesn't allow circumventing their App Store.)
Wasn't able to refill my Adderall for several days, got it today. Lot of walking through fog, but it's been weirdly positive. I was able to have some very useful conversations.
Now I have to catch up on things that fell on the wayside during the fog days.
My partner and I just got home from a nice tropical vacation ☺️ we were greated by the massive snowstorm hitting Toronto right now lmao