Bilblow Baggins?

I gotta say fellas, that is the most erotic thing I've read this decade, and the wife got me into romfic last year.

Yeah I wish this story was true and happened to me as well lmao
- 👀
In my opinion, it would be even better if the roles were reversed, and the guy was giving oral sex.
- Why do you assume it was a woman giving head

Soooo is she single?

You know... I never even considered that this was being told from a woman's perspective, I 100% just assumed it was a dude, there was no doubt in my mind.
- I saw meme Netflix girl with the crazy eyes and gun when I was reading it.
- Given the pink triangle in their profile pic, I'm gonna assume OOP is a gay man.
Or he :P

I always thought my kink was too specific, but look, there it is for all to see.

I would gladly be on either side of this, tbh. I did once get a bit of a blowjob during doctor who, but I made him stop because I couldn't focus on the episode (heaven sent). We canoodled after, but he was clearly upset I valued a show over sex. But, like, it was heaven sent! And it was the premier of the episode. I made the right choice.

Lmao mood, like if you're going to put something on for background noise it better be something neither of us care about. Being on the giving end sounds amazing, marathon dick sucking to go with marathon lotr watching, amazing.
- Yeah, I could totally be on the giving end, and wouldn't mind being on the receiving end, if the blower were also into what was on, and it was like a major edging session like in the image.
  
  Or, y'know, if we did it doggy style and both watched xfiles
Heaven sent is my favorite episode with Capaldi, just the idea and plot of the episode is well written and the acting is wonderful too
- It's so freaking good. Way better than a blowjob lmao
Pretty sure practically the same thing happened in Queer As Folk before RTD went on to reboot Doctor Who.
- Really? Haha. I need to get around to watching queer as folk at some point

reeling

Being too awestruck or shocked to comprehend anything

to be laughing uncontrollably to the point you don’t know what bodily fluids will excrete from your orifices

(Urban Dictionary)

It has the same definition in a real dictionary, too.
- Urban dictionary is a real dictionary.

God that's hot af

This is why the ideal background movie is any Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. They are hilarious, but ultimately the movies behind them tend to be boring. You don't usually need to pay attention to the plot to get most of the jokes. So, your attention can weave in and out. They are also usually monotone enough to fall asleep to, which is a bonus.

Extremely relatable. I tried to watch LOTR with my boyfriend who never saw it/cared about it. He was like eating snacks and not hearing all the dialogue. I had to turn it off after 10 minutes and crying twice already. I couldn't do it. I cared too much.

So this means you're single now? He's obviously not worthy. ;)
- Nah, he gets a pass. He's a little too old for it to have been a formative experience like it was for me.
Don't sweat it, it's just a bunch of pixies running around for 9 hours.
- They literally could have flown to modor on eagles

Lucky bastard

God I wish that were me. Either of them, I don't care

I'm guessing the edging was again at maximum during the Aragorn helmet kicking scene.

He reacted the same way Aragorn did.
- You know, he broke his toe during that scene. That's why the scream was so soulful. If you didn't know any better, you'd just assume the look on his face and the passionate shouting were just from the blowjob.

I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

Mistake?

Oh come on, "my precious" was RIGHT there...

She was explaining bombadil, cause he's not in the movies, right?

Never got through the books and don't recall him in the movies. He's magic card is super neat if very narrow, anyone wanna give me a quick Who or what he is?

Sure, pull your pants down.
Tom Bombadil is a Tolkien self insert who is immune to the effects of the ring and has a really hott wife iirc
- Huh haven't heard of the self insert thing. Thought bombadil was one of the valor in stealth mode?
Not a TLDR but...

Audiobook in case you are better with that. Other two books are there somewhere. There's also a whole thing about getting a sick dagger which never shows in the movies. Also a whole thing in the conclusion of the series about Hobbiton which is fun. The movies did a good job selecting plots to omit.

https://archive.org/details/TheFellowshipOfTherRingAudiobook

Mistake?

...mmmomma...