5mo ago

Gifts for my best friend who broke both of his arms?

My bestie broke both of his arms and wrists two days ago. He's in his 20s, a gamer, has a pregnant wife and a young kid. Any ideas for gifts I can get to cheer him up? He'll have no use of his arms for 3 months.

Already got a bidet for him and hooked it up. Looking into accessible gaming controllers, but he said that the pain is so bad rn that even alternative controllers are probably a no go.

124 comments

Uhhhh

Jerk your buddy off for him since he can't do that right now
- Nothing says you care like a no-homo handie.
  
  A bro-job, for good measure
  
  OP never said they were a man. Maybe it's a no-hetero handie.
- Reddit is leaking, lol
  
  Shhh. It's not like our first thought was "flashlight"
- Than one day he had an accident, they had to amputate his arms -- and he was sad that day. Yes he was sad that day. He can't surf, he can't skate and he sure can't masturbate no more.

Cleaning service, any house services really, freezer meals, or other little to no prep foods, offer to play with their kid from time to time, help them relieve stress by unburdening them (by taking on chores), instead of providing an escape (video games)
Edit: not dissing video games, but a young one and another on the way is a lot of stress already.
- I hadn't even considered cleaning services or meal kits. Those are a fantastic idea! I'll reach out to his wife and get her input.
  
  I’m constantly overwhelmed with no broken arms, and just 1 day a week for someone to come in and “reset the mess” is incredible. You should probably talk with his wife and have the “this person is giving you time to do things that prioritize your family” talk, because some people can feel cleaning service is admitting failure in keeping up their home. (Also her talking with the kid about not treating this as an excuse to be messy isn’t bad either)
- Every hobby can be considered an escape. But that doesn’t make it bad. Even dads and husbands need “me time” for themselves. So don’t tax his gig so hard-core cruster.
  Edit: spelling
  
  LMAO, I know it's auto correct typos, but:
  So don’t tax his gag so hard-core cruster.
  Is excellent gibberish.
  
  I get this, I'm a dad, and I know that me time is wonderful, but I also know that if the house is in rough shape because I can't do anything even if I wanted, that me time becomes an escape instead of a wind down, and the stress returns the moment the screen is off. Help with the house makes it so the relief lasts longer.
- That's a bit of a biased opinion on video games, huh? Maybe some, but certainly not every game and definitely not every gamer is about escapism. Some people destress and chill out with games because they have other responsibilities like kids, work, etc...
  
  I'm in complete agreement, but with two broken arms, they aren't going to be helping much with house chores (depending on how much mobility they actually have), and having those things done will actually allow for downtime.
  Game thought: DDR?
- help them relieve stress by unburdening them...
  Uhhhh what are you suggesting here exactly?
  
  Sending his mom over

Thankfully you're not his mom.
- explaining the source, TLDR mom 'performed deeds' for son with broken arms.
  
  Oh yeah, with a coconut, right?

Harmonica holder
- My robot friend can do anything!

I've broken a lot of bones.
Get him stuff that helps the family so he doesn't feel useless and guilty. That's number 1. It's awful to feel like a burden to everyone, and that doesn't go away no matter what is said to you.
Second, stretch bands to put around limbs and pull. It feels amazing. You don't realise how little you move and how little muscle you use while subconsciously "nursing" a broken bone.
Something insanely complex that involves both arms to use or solve. It's just funny as shit. But also, I swear I recover faster.
- Just no train blueprints for Mr Glass over here
  
  Haha. I think my bone density is fine, I just ask a lot more of them than normal...
  Bones: "This could break us."
  Brain: "Yeah, "could" but won't. I got you."
  collective being does a thing that will be amazing or moronic depending on outcome in the next few seconds

i would get him a cheap violin and a bag of individually wrapped candy
- Calm down satan
  
  theres so many terrible possibilities though!

You don't give your friend a thing, you give his poor wife something. A bidet goes so long and pregnancy itself is hard.
Seriously: Offer her to do some chores like shopping, gift them some take-away gift cards,etc. The situation will put a serious strain on their relationship,

Gag gift. Since he broke both arms, and wrists, he hopefully can still hold something lightweight.
- Love this idea and absolutely adding this to the list
  
  Tape it to his cast.

A Jump rope
- If you're a great friend you will add a set of maracas
- /s

In all seriousness, if you want to be helpful the best thing you can do is spend some time with him in person. He can tell you what he needs, and you can show him you care. If I got seriously crippled like this I probably would start thinking that none of my friends will make time for me because I have become a burden. Prove that nasty self-talk wrong!
- Sadly I'm 3 timezones away.

Firstly, my sympathies for your friend's horrible situation
Secondly, don't let him near anyone's mother.

A beer helmet!
- God no, not while your body is healing that kind of stuff.
  
  You don't need to put actual beer in it.

Oh no.

Me who is 51, active boarder (skate, snow, surf, downhill) since the mid eighties, and has never broken a bone, reading this:

I miss r/neverbrokeabone
- Is it possible to break a bone surfing? I always assumed the water just catches you.
  
  Absolutely. You can break your back or snap your neck. What causes a good surf break is a deep sea swell suddenly hitting a shallow. The best breaks tend to happen either over reefs or if the shore has a steep incline (see not Florida). If you are surfing over reefs or rocky bottom, the base of the wave might only be inches deep while the crest is feet tall with a lot of weight and power. One of the most dangerous wipeouts is when you are late and the lip of the wave flips you over, you fall on the rocks, and then a literal building heigh mountain of water lands on you smacking you into the rock, grinding into it, tumbling around into it and, for shits and giggles, not letting you come up for air.
  PS: The break for this Olympics was absolutely fucking bonkers.
  
  My dad cracked three ribs while surfing in his 20s. He caught a wave much larger than normal, fell off his board near the top and landed flat on his back.
- Didn't you just win a medal for GB?
  
  If you meant for going bald, then yes.

Can I ask how that happened?
I think what he and his family needs is help with chores. How well you can help with that depends on how far away you are.
- He locked himself out of his house and crawled up on his roof to try to get in a window, but all of the windows were locked. He tried to get back down and the ladder toppled. He fell 12 ft and had curled into a ball to protect his head and torso, but his arms were shattered. He's lucky he got away without a concussion or broken ribs.
  
  Then you should absolutely add one of those rock hide-a-key things to your list just for a laugh.
  
  Thanks to stories like this - If I lock myself out of the house, I'm going to break a window before I climb onto the roof!
  
  Oh suggest this is a good time to get some walks in. It'll at least be some exercise, we're all short on steps, some fresh air and sun. Just a couple 10 minute walks a day is easy. After meals is supposed to be a good time to help insulin response.

I'd say audio books, but you can get them the Libby app and a library card and they'll have tens of thousands available for free.
- The catch with Libby is that usually all the good books have hold times. This isn't an issue when you've been using Libby for awhile, you put a bunch of books on hold and you reach a point where you always have something available. But it can take weeks/months as a new user to get to that point where you are constantly having waitlisted books coming available.
- Audiobookbay + bugmenot
- Libro.fm for stuff not at the library

So depending on how much hand dexterity he has left with the broken wrists I suggest a back scratcher and one of those reacher grabber arms.
- This comment had me in the first half, ngl
- reacher grabber thingy
  The ladies diggem
  
  What this?

A bidet

An Alexa or Google voice activated assistant (and setting it up for them), so they can watch movies, play music, etc.
3 months of netflix, prime, audiobook membership, etc
Tobii eye-tracker for gaming/mouse movements, foot pedal buttons
Foot dexterity toys, balls, rocks - so they can get better using their feet and toes.
A ebook with voice activation
A big touch screen monitor hooked up to their cellphone / computer so they can do computer stuff with their feet. And screencast/chromecast to a big tv display. So navigate with feet, and big display for easy viewing.
A huge cost-co sized bottle of anti-diarrheal pills.
A stadium pal, or leg strapped urinal device.
Gag gifts
Sign up for you friend to get visited by the mormons or the 7th day adventists (I mean, he has to fill his days doing something, right?)
Cattle scratcher post
fleshlight mounted on a pole
- It took way to fucken long to reach this comment.

Juggling balls.
Then spend a lot of time hanging out with him while he recovers.

A long-handled scratcher. For reaching places that the casts are now not going to allow his arms to bend towards.
His arms are also going to get itchy AF inside those casts.
And for shits and giggles, get him a few rubber model cockroaches to stuff down inside those casts the day of their removal. Or really, any small rubber insect that is disagreeable to most people.

Rubik’s cube

As someone mentioned, an Alexa speaker. You mentioned a young kid and Amazon Kids has some great audio games you can play. I've had a blast either playing along with my kiddo or just watching him. Plus you can connect them for use as an intercom.
Occasional outings and a change of scenery might be appreciated as time goes on.

If he likes music, a good sound system.
Extra long straws for drinks.

For gaming, I highly recommend a trackball mouse since it requires so little movement, and depending on the model the buttons don't require a lot of force to be pressed.
A quick google shows me that these work even on an xbox.
I would suggest a fingertip trackball, and one with the largest ball diameter you can find. The larger the ball the more accurate and less movement needed.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Kensington-FusionTM-Wireless-Trackball-K72363WW/dp/B08D356XB6/
^ This is my daily driver, but it is better suited to someone with small hands.
https://www.amazon.com.au/KENSINGTON-K72359WW-Kensington-Wireless-Trackball/dp/B00009KH63/
^ This is the easiest to use, most comfortable for almost anyone with larger bands, and requires little force to click.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Kensington-Orbit-Trackball-Scroll-K75327WW/dp/B07YVMXLQC/
^ This is another smaller contender that may be easier on his hand, as it is more rounded. Some people need flat, some need round.
Put a washcloth under the left side of whichever one he chooses so he can adjust the tilt so his wrist won't hurt.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Elgato-Stream-Deck-Pedal-footswitches/dp/B09PRMCTGB/
^ Something like this would be good for the first little while, he can drive with the trackball and use his feet to click. There are lots of these at different price points.
For comfort, things to ease the itch and miserableness of the casts that will come. It keeps you up at night.
https://www.amazon.com.au/CastCooler-Immediate-breathable-orthopaedic-manufacturer/dp/B003XNNCV0/
^ Very cool product I wish was around when I had a cast. Seems well reviewed.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Scratcher-Cleaner-Sanitizer-Cleansing-Included/dp/B092472C4Y/
^ These to scratch itches down the cast. He should put nothing else down the cast, and don't put it so far down that you lose it. The skin under the cast will become very thin and fragile, anything put down it with a sharp edge could scratch and the warm moist environment could breed infection.
Regarding toilet time, if the bidet you got does not have a dryer function he may need to dry his booty when he's done. Many homes that have bidets everyone has their own little towel they use. He could move a stool or something in the bathroom and put a specified towel over it to sit on to dry himself.
My condolences to your friend, really glad he has a friend to help him.

Gimble vice and a fleshlight?

My friend’s wife just broke her arm, so I sent her this: A Farewell to Arms: The Hemingway Library Edition

There's a game you control by blinking. Before Your Eyes. It's a fairly short indie game, and maybe a bit heavy, but he should be able to play it just fine.

The bidet was a very solid choice. As generally privacy oriented as I am, I have no alternative. What about an Alexa + Audible?

https://www.amazon.com/Butt-Scrubber-Body-Wash-Aid/dp/B074YC6V2J
- https://www.amazon.com/Livestock-Scratcher-Grooming-Scratchers-Livestocks/dp/B0CYCNCCTS

microphone and setup windows voice commands

Anything that makes him want to masturbate. Oh, wait… you were trying to cheer him up.
- Ngl I was considering a suction cup fleshlight as a gag gift but his wife would kill me
  
  wait they make those?? I bet the suction cups don't hold up. do you have a link, I think I'll need to test this for myself, for science.

Some sort of food eating helper? Also help them every now and then physically. Not like that. Help them pick up, clean, get groceries for them, etc.
Ooh! A Walmart+ membership for grocery delivery?

A hacky sack
Dance mat controller for his console/PC

A life alert button as a joke
Maybe 1-2 USB foot pedals? There's gotta be at least some games that only really require two buttons (assuming PC), all I can think of is OSU! off the top of my head
- osu requires aiming lol, "A Dance Of Fire And Ice" only requires 1 button but a lot of precision.
  Anyways, one of these fighter game pads would be better:
  
  But they still might be able to hold a controller depending on how bad it is

A GoFund me page!
If that’s something you want to do and/or help manage for them, make sure to set it up in the one of their name(s) for tax purposes.
- Both he and I are well off financially, so no need for a GoFundMe.

124 comments