6mo ago

I will not be taking questions.

So far we have three people that have made the same comment about not being the front view. I'm using copy comments as TP tomorrow.

218 comments

Unless you have a cat that likes to play with them... Then the other direction.
- Why not just shut the door so the cat doesn't get in there? The toilet paper being hung correctly is more important than the cat for me.
  
  One of my cats knows how to open doors like a fucking velociraptor. We've baby locked several of our doors but some things like the bathroom I don't like fucking around with extra steps when trying to get into at 3am
  
  Because I don't like the smell of cat shit anywhere outside the bathroom
  
  Yes but also S T E A M
  If you live in a humid, much poo carries on.
- Depends on the cat. If they're simply going with tapping the roll to spin it, that may work for a bit. I've found that rolls accessible to a cat tend to morph into big balls of clawed unusable pulp.
  
  When I was a young kid, I had a cat that was front-declawed (this was before it was well known that it's an abusive practice - my folks didn't know better at the time). Because he couldn't shred the paper with his claws, he showed his spite by chewing up the roll so it looked like he'd clawed it. Didn't matter which direction the roll was.
  I loved that cat. He was so smart.
  
  When my bois were kittens, they would play with it either way. You’re totally correct.

I see we've got some really strong opinions going on here. Just wanna remind everyone to keep it friendly and civil.
And on that note, all you weirdos who place it behind are wrong and I will die on this hill.
Fight me.
- I’m not gonna fight you. My two shitty scheming cats on the other hand…
  Look I know how it’s supposed to go but I’m fighting for every square
  
  You could just keep the door closed
- I stand with you this day, brother!
  I stand two stalls over, but still with you!
  
  Separate, but together, we stand.... Or sit.
  IDK what's going on in this metaphor.
- People who place it hanging against the wall stand to wipe, like children.
  
  or this https://youtu.be/xV3zy-mCsOc

We actually have a nice print of that hanging in the bathroom
- That's a good idea. Maybe a wood print. I like it.
  
  This is the one we have. I actually got it from their kickstarter years ago: https://cratestyle.com/products/no-338-toilet-paper-roll?_pos=1&_sid=908e541d0&_ss=r
- Does it trouble you at all that the diagram doesn't specify where the wall should be?
  
  Wait... Do you not have your toilet paper just hanging in the air?

Sure, that's great and all, but the creator of the Gif says the wrong way to say it so... the creator is not always right.
- Just to make sure to not take sides, I pronounce the 'g' as in 'design'
  
  I guess it's fine gif you want to say it like that
- Well saying it the wrong way sounds too much like gift. How often are you talking about Jiff peanut butter?
  
  As a choosey mom, you would be surprised how often it comes up.
  _{fuck you, Skippy}

Looks like some folks don't know how to use the three seashells.
- hahahahah ..... I can see how that can be confusing...
- Sounds painful tbh, but you do you.

- Shrödinger's Roll
  
  It should be on a pivot so it always faces where youre pulling from
- What in the terrible photoshop I looking at.
  Why is there two gigantic rolls on the ground?
  
  Heavy days?
  
  I've seen these. I know people who have them.
  It's a tp holder with space for extra rolls.
  It's made if wire and it sucks.
- Bad design. Toilet paper not currently in use must be stored outside the bathroom so that it doesn't become damp and musty from the humidity. As opposed to on the wet floor next to the dewy toilet. This is how you get a nasty fungal infection fyi
  
  …Is your bathroom a swamp?
  
  If the bathroom and toilet are "dewy" the bad design falls on the house itself.
  
  If you have humidity problems in your bathroom, get a small electric dehumidifier. They're less than 30 bucks and they'll fix it right up.
  
  Being in the general vicinity of mold won't give you a fungal infection unless you don't wash. I recommend against placing toilet paper directly inside your rectum or vagina, however.

It's halfway 2024 it's time to move on to bidets.
- I use a bidet, I still need TP to clean up after the water does the job.
  I know fancy bidets exist that will blow dry your arae, but what do I look like? A rich person? We got ours from Amazon for like $20.
  TP use is way down, but it's still needed in many cases.
  
  I just sit there and browse Lemmy while I wait for my ass to dry out. 😀
  
  You use toilet paper to dry off? Why not a towel?
- Based and Hygiene Pilled

I accept the wrong way if, and only if, the wrongifier has cats.
- I have cats and would never have the audacity to do something as vulgar as that.
  
  Agreed. My cat would never dare put the roll on the wrong way.
- Toddlers do the thing too

Not the best patent to use if you want to settle the debate. This one from Wheeler is the nail in the coffin: patent
It also shows why it was over and not under as at the time, the TP holder was a hanging wire, which kept the paper against the wall. Not protruding out like todays hangers.
- Good find
  
  Not that the over/under debate was even a thing, but this should convince those diehard lunatics not to hang their TP improperly!

I love how everyone arguing against this mentions cats - and never toddlers.
It really speaks volumes to the types of users on Lemmy :)
- Putting the roll on backwards doesn't stop my cats. I have to have a towel draped in front of the roll.
  
  And my toddlers both just turned it back around!

Thats the 'cat free house' way.
- I had cats my whole life and never had this happen.
  
  We have many cats, also, no problems.
- Eh. I taught my 2 cats to not touch it. It's not difficult.
  
  I have had many cats and have never had a problem with them grabbing the toilet paper.
  
  HOW‽ If I could I would

Objection: appeal to authority + appeal to tradition + I did the fuck with yo mama last night
/s if that's really necessary

I like this shitpost

Are we looking from the perspective of the user or the wall?
- Yeah, the illustration shows nothing, we don't know which side is which anyway.

The proper way to hang it, if you have cats, is the other way so they don't bat it all off if the get access. This is why I do not have cats.
- My cat has not once tried unraveling a toilet paper roll. He has stolen money before, but he steals shit, so that’s normal. But never toilet paper.
  
  Haha mine will take coins off the table, and carry it off to her hiding spot. It's the cutest thing. I got her a small box of toy pirate coins.
  
  Oh, man. My mother had cats who would just attack tp or paper towels. We had them both hanging the 'correct' way, got tired of it and flipped em. Now, though, I stick to dogs lol

I see nothing that indicates that that is the front of the roll

Wait. So if this i patented but has no specification about hanging it the other way, would that mean that one could patent toilet paper again, but hanging the other way?
- I don't believe so. They will only award a new patent if yours is meaningfully different from previous technologies. I would suspect they would deem the other direction "not a meaningful difference."
  
  The internet disagrees.
- You shouldn't, but the patent office don't care about inventive height and obviousness anymore

You aren't taking into account the patent inversion convention of 1898.
- You aren’t taking into account the patent inversion convention of 1898.
  Patent got filed on double reverse patent day. Draw 4.
  
  What if it was accepted on a triple dog backwards day though?

Ass wiping tech has come a long way. Thankfully.

I like how it just looks like a log being shaved into extremely thin sheets.
- The original toilet paper was pretty much that, from what I understand.
  IDK for sure, not like I'm some toilet paper historian.
- I read "a dog", and spent several seconds horrified but searching the canine resemblance

- Booooooo.
  OP is still right, but I hate what you've posted.
  
  this one would be the alternative

They didn't own a cat and it shows.
- I've had cats my whole life and have never had one mess with my properly placed toilet paper.
- I have four in the house and none of them screw with our tp.
  You just have a cat that's more of an asshole than usual.
  
  Increased nip dosages are required.

I mount mine vertically so nyah
- Funny. That's how your mom mounts me! Heyoooh!
  
  You must be necrophiliac since my mom has been dead for years.

What the fuck were they doing for toilet paper before 1891?
- A rag on a stick, frequent trips to the river, their left hand, nothing at all and the three seashells. We're some other options.
  
  We've still got a few years until the three seashells take over and Taco Bell wins the franchise wars.
- This post sent me down a rabbit hole.
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_hygiene
  The funniest one is the Japanese “chuugi”, translated to “shit stick”.
  
  As absolutely batshit crazy the world is right now, it's important to reflect on what we do have. And thankfully it's advanced beyond shit sticks.
- Farmers almanac.
  
  Sears catalog and corn cobs. No lie.
- Various other things like leaves, rags, sponges, or leftover paper. Failing that a bare hand works: manners dictating you wash it after.
  Some cultural hangups on the left hand being "unclean" stem from those cultures using that hand for hygienic reasons.
- I dunno, but it probably involved slaves.

Just use water lmfao
- I use both toilet paper and water
- Against the cats?

Beard not Mullet!

They believed in a lot of stupid shit back then.

The most dangerous phrase is "we've always done it this way".

Beards are based, mullets are cringe.

This could have saved relationships.

Sending this to my neurotic wife. It’s going to bother her now.
- Thank you. I'm glad I could help

Why is this in c/Lemmy Shitposting?
- The patent explains the intended use for that kind of paper.
- TP, shitposting.... You don't see the connection?
- I need TP for my bunghole!

I prefer the look of overhand, but the oversize rolls pull better out of my inset holder when it's underhand

Ooh I just got a new idea for a new patent!

Yes, correct

I'm finally coming around to this after decades of being steered away from it by The Simpsons (https://youtu.be/CQod276-7Mo?si=F5_Suzq41QAK_Wtg).

Obviously designed in a place without deadly spiders.
- Can you explain why this matters, for people who don't live with deadly spiders?
  
  In Australia spiders like to hang out in places like where the outer layer of TP sits as it is a good hiding place for them. Especially Red Backs. Huntsmen like it too but will only kill by a jump scare caused heart attack.

image displayed from reverse side to show overhang

Yes this was 1.0, 2.0 improved the tech by going under instead of over. Much more convenient single hand operation as well as pet protection.
- I go over hand and my one handed TP game is on point.
  Get good.

The inventor also said it's "jif", and I ain't saying that either. Also, the patent doesn't indicate whther that's the front view or the back view. It's displaying a roll in a vacuum.
- You're right, of course. Patent illustrations traditionally show the item only from behind.
  
  it's amazing how much patent illustrations and my pornography have in common.
  
  Patent illustrators show the item in the way that is most useful to describe the patent.
  Mounting is not illustrated.

Toilet paper hanging haphazardly over the front of the roll provides a convenient place for a 3 inch spider to hide between the roll and hanging strip. The patent illustration is clearly meant as a sick joke.
- If it's hanging from the other side, there's even more space for a spider to hide outside of view.
- Well, that spider is in for a hell of a ride.
  
  Weeeeee

People here be discussing the wrong thing, or am I the only one thinking that patenting a roll of paper is incredibly stupid?
It's a damn roll of paper. How much of a genius do you have to be to come up with that? People have been doing it for millennia, the only difference is that it used to be so expensive that no one would think of whipping their butts with it.
- The patent was the tp roll but more so the angular serations that terminate short of the center, so a tearable roll of paper rather than a strip role that had to be torn manually or cut
  
  So the innovation that was patented is literally "cut it partway through".
  Patents are inherently stupid and only serve to stifle progress. Change my mind or otherwise just downvote away, works as well.

I've never paid a single bit of attention to which way it goes on. I spit into the face of this entire debate and it's never done me any harm to do so. I'm a cat owner too. The roll goes on either way, it's fine, and I'll never change my mind.
- Someday if you ever live with another person you'll figure it out.
  
  I'm happily married. Has never once been an issue.

Why do we assume that is a frontal view?

It makes sense when you consider that they don't even have ball pens in the 19th century. People back then must be very stupid.
- Yes... Because the people that made everything we have today possible are... stupid. Right.
  
  Yes. Otherwise why would they register the wrong way of hanging toilet paper in the patent?
- They were very smart. Ball pens messed up my wrists. I was livid when I found out it takes no pressure to write with a fountain pen

218 comments