Seems a great many of you need this.
Seems a great many of you need this.
Comments
159-
-
"Small talk" is actually one of the most powerful tools for connection we have. It’s not meaningless chatter; it’s the doorway into deeper understanding.
The trick isn’t to say the most interesting thing in the room or ask interesting questions, it’s to be interested.
When you ask someone, “How’s your day going?” or “What’s been keeping you busy lately?” and actually listen to their answer, you’re signaling that you care about their world. That’s the quiet magic of small talk: it turns strangers into people, and people into friends.
Start simple. Ask open questions that invite reflection instead of yes or no answers. Things like:
“How’s work treating you this week?”
“What’s something you’ve been enjoying lately?”
“Do you like slow days or do they make you restless?”
Then, build on what they share. Match their tone. Add your own small experiences (“I know what you mean, I kind of love quiet days too”). These little back-and-forth moments help conversations feel easy and balanced.
The value of small talk isn’t in the words themselves, it’s in the attention you give others. Over time, these small exchanges build trust, warmth, and familiarity. They’re how relationships begin, how empathy grows, and how we remind each other that we’re seen.
So don’t underestimate small talk. Practice curiosity. Ask, listen, share. Every person you meet carries a piece of the story you haven’t heard yet, and small talk is how you start uncovering it.
-
Literally all I could say to any of this would be downer shit. That's why I hate small talk. It's just depressing and I feel like it makes me look bad.
-
People actually LOVE to complain to each other. Perhaps if you shared your downer shit, you could find lots of connection. Just be sure to dose the information in small bits, so that the other person has enough space to react and share their own depressiive stories.
-
You’re definitely not the only one who feels that way. I actually love what some of the others pointed out to you here. People bond over frustrations, stress, annoyances, and “downer things” far more than we give them credit for. Shared struggle is one of the strongest human connectors.
But you’re also right that unloading everything at once would feel overwhelming, to you and them. The key is exactly what folks have said here: small doses.
Something like: “Honestly it’s been a rough week, but I’m getting through it.”
That doesn’t make you look bad,it makes you look real. It creates space for the other person to say something like, “Yeah, same here,” or, “I hear you.”
And here’s the surprising part: Feeling heard doesn’t double the stress it usually decreases it.
Two people acknowledging something tough doesn’t weigh both down, it often makes the load feel shared, understood, and a little lighter.
Small talk isn’t about dumping or fixing. It’s about tiny human signals that say: “Hey, I’m here too. Life’s tough. We’re both trying.”
You don’t have to sugarcoat your life. You just practice finding those small, balanced ways of sharing that open connection instead of shutting it down. Like any skill, it feels awkward at first, but it gets easier and very rewarding with time.
-
-
The trick isn't to say the most interesting thing in the room or ask interesting questions, it's to be interested.
OK, but, like... I'm not interested. I have a strong interest in others viewing me nonthreateningly, because I have no interest in causing harm or taking advantage of others and would rather not be viewed suspiciously. But the actual mechanics of small talk are dull and uninteresting to me. I could walk through the motions, and generally do when I have to, but the kind of energy and attention it takes for me to do that while also being aware of anything else is exhausting. I'm perfectly happy being on the sidelines or simply not in attendance at all. I just want to be able to carry some sort of authentication or certificate that indicates "Normal People including Jeff T., Paul R., Caitlin P., Rilee L., and Jaime A. all vouch for me being safe and trustworthy. If you don't know any of them, I can provide further references."
-
I really appreciate you sharing this so openly. I want to say upfront that you’re not unusual for feeling this way. A lot of people find small talk draining, unnatural, or mildly stressful. You’re definitely not alone in that. It’s totally natural to struggle with the energy it takes.
And you’re right: you shouldn’t force yourself into situations that overwhelm you or pretend to be endlessly curious. Most people don’t naturally like small talk. For a lot of us, it’s something we get more comfortable with only through small, low-pressure repetitions.
But here’s the piece I think is worth considering, and the reason small talk is actually valuable even for people who don’t enjoy it: small talk sends the exact signals you said you want people to receive.
You mentioned wishing you could carry a certificate saying “I’m safe; I’m trustworthy; you don’t need to be on guard around me.” That’s exactly what small moments of casual conversation do.
Most people don’t build their sense of who’s safe through deep conversations. They build it through dozens of tiny, low-stakes interactions where someone shows calmness, presence, or a small bit of warmth. Small talk is the first rung on that ladder. It’s how people subconsciously decide:
- “Okay, this person is normal.”
- “This person is steady.”
- “This person is okay to talk to.”
You don’t need big enthusiasm or real interest to start. Just the smallest signals. Each tiny exchange builds a little more ease for you, because people who feel safe around you treat you differently. That’s the payoff. That’s the value.
And practicing small talk bit by bit isn’t a chore so much as an investment. It’s a skill, one you grow into at your own pace. It quietly makes the rest of social life smoother, because the foundation becomes easier to lay. Even a brief moment of acknowledgment, a nod, a short comment, a simple reply, can be meaningful without draining you.
There’s no pressure to push past your limits. Comfort matters. But if you ever decide to experiment with very small doses, it can become a tool that supports you rather than exhausts you. And the good part is: it really does get easier the more tiny reps you get under your belt.
-
-
"How's work treating you?"
It's work.
"What have you been enjoying lately?"
Sleeping when I get home from work.
"Do you like slow days?"
No cause it means I have to work longer.
-
I hear you and honestly, those answers are exactly what most people would say. You are being honost and, honestly, most people aren’t naturals at this. It’s a learned skill, not a personality trait.
That said, small talk isn’t really about coming up with something you find interesting. It’s more about stepping a little outside your own head and giving the other person something to work with. It's giving them permission to show you which direction they want the conversation to go.
Think of small talk like a nudge that invites someone else to open a door. It’s not supposed to feel profound to you at first! The goal is to offering a tiny thread for them to tug on. Some people don't and that's fine. Some do! Maybe they relate to hating work, maybe they tell you how they unwind, maybe they joke back. You don't know and that is where things can be fun!
Today, saw a guy walking down the hallway where I was working. He had a shirt with a movie I recognized on it. I said "I love that shirt bud! Great movie!" He said "Aww thanks! I got it a few weeks back and...."
He ended up stopping and we chatted for a moment about the director and other films.
Now, he could have just nodded and walked past. That is fine! It wasn't about my satisfaction! But when he bit and replied, I made a friend out of a stranger.
The skill is in giving the other person a starting point and then being curious about where they take it. That takes practice, especially when it doesn’t come naturally. It will feel awkward at first and may even be painful, but that is the same with all learned skills. Sucking at something is just the first step towards being sort of good at something. The more you do it, the more you start to notice small sparks you wouldn’t have seen before.
It’s not about you being interesting, it’s about being curious about other people and their interests. And that’s a skill anyone can strengthen, one low-pressure exchange at a time.
-
People typically give these sorts of responses when either (a) they are tired or (b) they can sense that you aren't actually interested in them.
You should understand that a and b are interrelated, as almost no one is ever too tired to express how they are feeling to someone they trust.
The trick here is not to keep asking questions, but to empathize:
“How’s work treating you?”
It’s work.
^ this "neutral" response is actually a polite negative.
"Yeah, tell me about it - my job's boring as shit. At least it's almost lunch time..."
Note that this doesn't always work, and the person may just keep giving "blah" responses. That's fine. You tried to connect. You tried to be interested. Accept their non-interest and try again with the next person. You will get better at being interested and empathizing with practice, and your increased care for others will become more apparent to others, generating better responses.
-
-
As someone who can have difficulty socializing (unless it's something I'm passionate or knowledgeable about, but then i risk oversharing), i decided to try reading a book i ran into called Supercommunicators. It actually touches on a number of things you mentioned here, just curious if you happen to have read it yourself... It's been pretty enlightening for me, and i find the things I've picked up from it can easily be applied to daily life. Some good food for thought, at very least!
-
I’ve heard of Supercommunicators! Haven’t read it yet, but I really love that these kinds of books exist because they reinforce something I genuinely believe: communication isn’t a personality type, it’s a skill.
Some people come by it naturally, and others learn it deliberately. Both paths lead to meaningful connection.
And small talk fits right into that. Even if it feels awkward or draining at first, practicing simple things like curiosity, open questions, and responding to what someone shares gradually makes it feel more intuitive and more rewarding over time.
I’m glad the book has been helpful for you! Anything that breaks communication down into a learnable skill is a gift.
-
Keep it simple! Andrew Carnegie wrote the only book you need, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Terrible title in today's context, that's not really what it's about.
Carnegie set out to find a solid book on human communication. Traveled all over the US, meeting and writing university professors, was astonished that such a thing didn't exist, so he wrote it.
Interestingly, you can pick it up and read any chapter. Nothing need be in order, it's not a study course, very easy to digest. Most of it is simply Carnegie telling stories.
There was one that's always stuck with me: He goes to dinner at a man's house and the guy won't shut the fuck up, talks on and on and on. Carnegie shut up, listened, made it clear he was listening, hardly spoke a word. On the way out the man was congratulating Carnegie on what a fine conversationalist he is!
Public domain, totally free, give it a spin. I need to brush up on it myself.
-
-
-
This also acts as a public filter
If you small talk with someone and they react positively (or at least don't treat you weird) ... then the person you are small talking to is a
decentRECEPTIVE person who is also open to a bit of communication.If you small talk with someone and they immediately treat you weird, walk away or just don't want to deal with you ... then chances are, it was a good thing you said something to eliminate any negative interaction.
EDIT: changed a word in my phrasing
-
This is what a lot of people don't get about small-talk, and OP's image touches on it, it's not about educating someone how trains work (looking at you fellow autists) it's about playing a short game where you gauge each other's receptiveness to friendliness or a desire to socialize. If your small-talk partner isn't receptive, has nothing to say and seems disinterested, you take your leave. You say "Hey I gotta run, see ya around!" and just leave it at that.
(Guys, this is also how you talk to girls you don't know, it's literally the entirety of volumes of pickup artist bullshit condensed into one paragraph without any weird games or sexist bullshit. Just make small-talk, see if they want to engage back, AND THEN WALK THE FUCK AWAY if they're icy to you. If they don't respond, that doesn't mean they didn't hear you, and no you don't get a second chance in this conversation, you will make it worse if you keep trying to talk to someone not interested. I am shocked how hard this is for so many guys to understand. And fully prepared to piss insecure midwits off with this factual take because it triggers SO many insecure people to talk about how to socialize properly.)
-
Preach. You get about a pleasant sentence and if you just get the momentary half smile or something you’re coolly moving on immediately.
-
-
Removed by Moderator — Modlog
-
Small talk is even harder in public if you are a big tall brown long haired Native Canadian man like me. I'm older now and I'm fully aware that I intimidate people at first glance. I'm not violent, or do or want to do aggressive things but if you saw me, chances are those are the first impressions that you would see.
In northern Ontario, Caucasian people are familiar with people like me and I can easily talk to most people, especially in rural areas. But if I talk to some young woman, I'm often treated like some kind of monster.
I've also been to Europe in Germany, France, Italy and Spain and over there it is even harder for me to conduct small talk .... there's a language barrier and on top of that I look like I do. No matter how modern people can be, there is always a level of racism when people encounter someone who doesn't look like everyone else they know.
So to me .... small talk is a public filter.
If I talk to someone and they don't want to engage, I move on.
If I talk to someone and they treat me kindly and openly, I've met someone who will help me feel more comfortable in this strange world.
-
-
My government seems to think otherwise.
-
I knew imgur was getting bad but that's ridiculous.
Anyway, Here:
-
Technically that's down to Imgur. Basically the UK government told Imgur to stop selling children's data to advertisers and Imgur was like "No, we're going to keep doing that and you're blocked".
But, OFCOM basically said "Okay sure you can block the UK and that will stop you selling any children's data going forward, but you still sold children's data in the past, so the fine still stands" and now it's kinda in limbo because Imgur doesn't have a UK office so there's nowhere to extract the money from. However, even if Imgur did introduce age assurance (which is increasingly likely given that Imgur is based in California and California is flirting with age assurance requirements too) and therefore would be in compliance with the Online Safety Act, they would still be fined because they failed to protect children's data in the past.
-
-
Honestly, my favorite people are the ones who love to talk and are horribly desperate to babble to potential listeners. I'm not much of a talker but I absolutely dont mind looking you in the eyes and nodding my head as you talk about your hobby or current going ons.
In bigger social groups I noticed this weird thing fellow humans tend to do where they all want a slice of being the talker/ center of attention and constantly cut off eachother or tune out current speaker waiting for them to shut up so they can start their monkey babble turn.
This behavior absolutely infuriates me and I refuse to take part in it. I would rather just be silent and let you say your piece than interrupt the flow.
As a knock on effect people subconsciously notice I'm not competing with them for talk time and am sending them constant listening signals like looking in the eye nodding head "mhm got you" stuff. This seems to really go a long way with making friendly with talkative types with minimal effort.
-
Hobbys or current going ons is nice, but that's not small talk. That's just talk. Not big talk nor small talk, more like medium talk. It's where they tell you stuff about themselves that actually matter, but not in a revolutionary way.
Small talk is chatting about the weather or talking about that person at work.
-
i posit current going ons can be anywhere from small to heavy talk, depending on the weight and/or severity of the ongoings.
-
-
-
GREETINGS FELLOW HUMAN, I AM A NON THREATENING HUMAN, NO NEED TO AVOID BEING NEAR MY PRESENCE
-
Hey bud, how you doing?
-
-
I have no fucking clue how to do small talk. I tend to get too serious too fast and feel very incompetent and overwhelmed with this kind of almost meaningless noise. So it either ends in awkward silence or in me saying something too heavy for that kind of conversation, which tends to make things awkward as well.
Example, option A:
"It's so nice and warm today."
"Yeah, but did you know that death rates of sensitive population groups like elderly have increased due to more and intense heatwaves caused by global warming?"Option B:
"It's so nice and warm today."
"Yeah."
[silence]Maybe I should get checked for autism, lol.
-
Maybe I should get checked for autism, lol.
Def. do that, but also, you just need more practice whether you're on the spectrum or not.
You are in your own head too much. You have a lot of ideas about big things that are straining at the seams to share with someone so you're not making it about "making friendly noises" with a stranger or casual acquaintance.
The good news is there's a surefire cure to this, but again, it takes practice so you don't forget how to do this one simple trick to making people like you and make friends who will then want to go on to talk about deep things.
ASK QUESTIONS.
They say "Wow that game last night was wild" and you say "Yah? what was your favorite part?"
They say "I hope the weather clears this weekend" you say.... NO, NOT DESCRIBING HOW WEATHER WORKS, you ask "What did you have planned?" and so on.
The key here is to set yourself aside. Make it the "Them Show" and they are the star. You are not going to form a lasting friendship by saying the right things at the right time, you won't get noticed at work by one awesome chat. You do these things by repetition and consistency. Do not "fast forward" in your mind when they are talking, you have to ACTUALLY LISTEN, and set aside whatever is boiling up in your mind to spill out.
If people start associating you with them being able to be the star for a minute, if you make them feel good about sharing their lives, they will start wanting to spend more time with you.
-
Maybe you should try "medium talk" so you don't get bored and other randos don't get weirded out. After a comment about the weather you can say that bc of the nice weather you were hiking/sportsing/otherwise hobbying in [location], and wondered if they've been there recently. Or if the weather was shit that you were indoors doing whatever hobby and ask what they tend to do in their free time.
Hobby talk can basically be as superficial or deep as you need it to be, so the conversation can progress from there as needed.
-
What a fantastic thread today
Helpful Lemmings abound
-
-
Do you understand on an intellectual (as opposed to instinctive) level which topics are too serious for small talk?
Because if not then start there. If so, then it's possible to get better by taking your time to reply and think over what you're about to say so you can back out!
The weather isn't a topic that will last for long. Maybe you can ask "did you see that crazy rain/wind/hail/whatever" but either the subject is going to change or one of you will segue into "I remember when I was xyz and there was this crazy rain/wind/hail/whatever".
Conversations are about finding connections and judging what the other person might want to hear. Sometimes there's no connection though and you've just got to bring up something else. Questions are good because they allow the other person to talk :p
-
Option C:
“It’s so nice and warm today.”
“Think it will last?”
-
-
This lasts right until I learn that someone likes bugs. Then I just show them the most recent bug picture I have taken. So much less energy. So much less nerve-wracking. I want to show you my cool bug photos and I want to see your cool bug photos. We know what we're about (we're about sharing cool bug photos).
-
“ … and here I forgot an ampersand so the parameter was passed by value instead of by reference and I spent so much time …. Oh. You meant the other kind of bugs, didn’t you?”
-
-
It's me. I'm one of the great many who needed this. Thank you OP!
-
is making animal noises at each-other a sufficient way of small talk? asking for ourselves.
-
I mean... it works for animals?
-
This exchange reads like Archer dialogue and I'm digging it
-
We have the tism and many of our vocal stims is animal noises (esp cats/dogs si de we grew up with them) and we just make anima noises with our partner or just be with eachother in silence and it’s calming/welcoming :3
-
-
Cicadas do nothing but shreik unholy shrill screams until someone else of their species decides to have sex with them, so why don't we give that a try?
-
Tried that. Got kicked out of the stripclub. Had to have lunch somewhere else.
-
-
Context dependent, but I've definitely meowed as a non-threatening greeting before
-
Wonderful xD
-
-
-
"Hi, I'm very friendly, you don't have to be afraid of me, i don't want to harm you, we are identical!"
-
I will start approaching people like this.
-
It works great! Now I only very rarely need to tell people to go away.
-
-
-
*friendly noises
-
HONK <3
-
*reciprocal friendly noises
-
-
If it's to simply make noises to assert non-violent intentions, then I say we can be more than our natural urges without giving into these innate tendencies. Sincerely, an introvert.
-
I’m an introvert and I enjoy small talk.
-
Yeah the scripted back and forth is not nearly as draining to the social battery. It's almost like when you're sitting quietly with someone enjoying three mute presence.
Not quite there, but like farther asking along that spectrum than say a conversation where actual information or promise to act is the goal.
-
Calm down, brother. You must resist those biological urges. We are civilized now. 😉
-
-
I like to start of with small talk and then get into political issues and ridicule people. No idea why they don't like it
-
Just remove all violent people first
-
-
Seems a great many of you need this.
[Content not viewable in your region]
Nope. Don't need that.
Did you know that the reason imgur blocks the UK is that it is trying to evade a fine for selling children's personal data?
They are a shit corporation and they already deleted old data for posters that didn't have a paid subscription with them.
There are other image hosts.
Lemmy lets you upped directly to your instance and if gets federated.
Don't use imgur.
-
Another great argument for text alternatives such as link to text-based (archived) sources: graceful failover & accessibility.
-
-
content not viewable in your region
-
They said you need it. They didn't say you could have it.
-
This post is quite profound
-
This... makes sense. Thank you
-
What these sounds mean, he thought, is: I am alive and so are you. And we're all very worried that we might not be alive for much longer, so we'll just keep talking, because that's better than thinking.
Truckers, Terry Pratchett
-
I think that small talk is an ever constant reminder of the pervasive nature that is 'wanting to be happy'.
Don't get me wrong, there isn't necessarily anything wrong with wanting to be happy. There is something wrong about being willing to sacrifice anything for what you perceive is the thing (or person, or hobby, or whatever) that will bring you happiness.
I think that the reason small talk is so fucking meaningless is because we all are just seeking some measure of peace and happiness in our lives. We simply can't tell everyone who asks that our day is going terribly, for one thing it will make us feel worse — for another it will also make everyone that has to tolerate us feel worse. So we say "Fine" or "Good" or "Tired" or "The weather has me down" or whatever other instantly acceptable and obvious answer is easiest and ends the interaction quickly.
I think if we allowed people to be more honest with themselves that things like small talk wouldn't really exist beyond trying to fill a silent void. But sure, friendly human noises go brrr.
-
Damn well this was the perspective change I needed today
-
If I helped one person, more than worth the tiny effort!
-
-
So, how's the weather?
There has been a month of constant wet drizzle here.
-
That sounds lovely. Yesterday was cold, but today is going to be hot.
-
Same here. Pretty great, summer is so overrated!
-
I just wish i had more time for pike fishing is all.
-
-
Weirdly cold for NW Florida, froze 2 nights in a row. Back to normal, 50F nights, 70F days.
-
-
I see the value in it, I just suck at it.
-
It helps to have canned fallback responses. Mine is "I know, right?" in a dry/sarcastic tone. It works for any comment and most questions, because it's a meaningless affirmation
It even works when you fumble, it's so vague you can use it to reply to a question and recover
-
The issue is that the conversation usually falls falt if the only thing you offer is that kind of empty response. And I'm pretty bad at finding a middle ground between responses that are too negative (my life tends to be kinda shit compared to most people's) or too deep and responses that are too meaningless even for small talk (like talking about the weather).
-
-
-
Absolutely love it
Thanks OP
-
It’s disturbing how many single women put on their dating profiles how much they hate small talk. Like, how else do you get to know somebody?
-
The complaint is about guys who want to text forever and not move forward. Heard that a lot when I was dating hot and heavy. Seems lots of guys are either just lonely and wanting to talk on dating apps or who aren't bold enough to ask for the date in a timely manner.
You have to establish, quickly, that there aren't any screaming red flags, then ask for the first date. If dating isn't what you're there for, go find something else to do.
It's also a filter for wishy-washy men. Sorry guys, women like men who are decisive. Which a lot of men take to mean "be a controlling jerk". Not the same, not even close.
-
So I'm old and greying now (in my late 30s), have no major stake in this but I'd like to reframe something you've said from a different perspective based on life experience.
I disagree that women like men who are decisive. It's going to sound like pedantry but I think that's too broad. That's not a message that helps young men find a good way.
In my experience, women like it when men are thoughtfully and respectfully decisive. Men are complex, sophisticated, have good days, bad days, strong days, days when they feel weak. Days when they're decisive and days when they are not. I don't think we can split men into two camps - decisive and indecisive - without oversimplifying. A man can be decisive one day and indecisive the next.
The messaging that reached me as a young man, which I detested, was to be decisive above all else (at the expense of thoughtfulness and consideration) because indecisiveness would repel women even more than being a bad person. That's not the message that I'd like young men to hear. I'd like the world to be a better place than when I was growing up.
This comment is not so much directed at you as it is to others who may come across it and have had a similar experience. Be decisive but if and only when you've taken her and others into account. This is how you earn the respect of your contemporaries.
-
There could be some sort of gray area between the two options of a) whiny wet napkin and b) aggressive asshole?
We should put some Bro Scientists on exploring this ASAP
-
-
Did you read the post?
-
-
I actually feel like Arc Raiders has helped with this a bit.
I’m very distrustful of anyone who signals peaceful intent with nothing but an emote line. If people use voice comms, it shows a modicum of social openness, and helps humanize them. More often than not, people end up chatting about threats they’ve seen or where there’s useful loot.
There’s even a famous clip of a guy breaking open a bot who gets shot at, and he defuses the situation by yelling at the shooter that he expects better of him, and that they’re all just trying to get by.
-
As an autism, I would prefer society to function more like a Japanese train. I do not want to be bothered with small talk.
-
Content not viewable in your region
-
It's now viewable. Why TF was this regionlocked
-
-
A lot of my problems with social interactions almost completely disappeared when I realized humans are just animals and treating them as such makes recognizing behavioral patterns a lot easier.
-
As long as the other person(s) can actually hold a convo, don't care if the conversation is as deep as the shallow end of the kiddie pool.
-
If you have an interesting life then you can commandeer small talk and make it interesting. It's an opportunity to introduce other material.
-
This is a really good way to get hated if you make every chat about some crazy thing that happened in your life, whether or not it's real.
People like an occasional wild story but if you're always "commandeering" small talk, people will avoid you. If you want people to actually enjoy hanging out with you, you have to balance this with a lot more asking questions about them, and making them feel equally important to the interaction.
-
-
I don't know what downvoting this makes me, but I am that
To clarify, there is a word that accurately describes how I feel, but I'm too stupid to know it
EDIT: disillusioned. The word was disillusioned
-
Not me. I can tell when you're just smiling and nodding, and not actually listening. It's very obvious when people do it, and is usually my cue to stop talking cause no one actually cares.
-
yes except we do not have sports in common
-
So... if you don't live your life automatically assuming that every stranger is a threat, you don't waste time and effort with small talk.
-
I think the total opposite, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone to value and attempt to connect with, whereas people who frown at or avoid small talk are often the ones assuming some pretty negative things about others
-
That's pretty unfair to the 10 to 20 % neurodiverses.
-
people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone to value and attempt to connect with
Strictly based on OP, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone who needs to be assessed as a possible threat, and must "prove that we can get along". They might be someone to value and attempt to connect with, but that is indeterminate until tested. The small talk is the test.
-
-
You really don't understand this hooman communication thing, do you?
So let me try to parse this; Your interactions with others is on a purely transactional basis?
-
Not OP but mine are, anything wrong with it? Communication aims at information exchange, if you wanna say hey just say hey, we don't need to waste away doing empty, false gestures at each other. You want to learn something I know? Happy to help! Vice versa? I hope you also don't mind.
Wanna waste air with saying empty words, devoid of any actual meaning? You'd get the most appropriate version of "Yeah" and a stare urging you to get to the point.
-
Can we not belittle each other, it's such a conversation ender.
I do think there are people who are going to be purely transactional, myself included. I don't know why, maybe it's rooted in insecurity, maybe it's lack of attention span from perpetually being online that's rewired our simulation receptors that don't get anything from trying to discover connections.
-
The statement in your posted image frames the interaction in question ("small talk") as purely transactional. I am working inside that context. You seem to be drawing "understanding" from some external context which has not been presented here.
-
My attention and time are not something others should feel entitled to have.
-
Removed by Moderator — Modlog
-
-
Yeah. I got over my hangups about small talk when I started working for a well-known people person with a big, room-filling personality. Watching him "work" several people a day, I realized he was just on autopilot, repeating the same lines over and over like an NPC. I realized, "shit, I can do that."
I saw some mudcrabs the other day. Horrid creatures.
Do you remember what he said? Maybe we can copy
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee...
One of them was "how's life in the fast lane?" Colloquial and open ended, so the other person can go whatever direction they feel like with it.
I tried once an alternative to my current medication. It made me more communicative but it really felt like autopilot (something beside my consciousness) and i hated that.