We have plenty of examples of decades of government narratives being pushed hard and people being ridiculed for pointing out irregularities, only to later learn the government was either involved or completely responsible.
It's also a story you tell yourself, which is only as true as much as you believe it. Why do you hold onto that story? Why not make up a different, perhaps more positive story? It'll only be as true/false as the one you currently tell yourself.
As a bi.... Neither.