If the discussion was a generic one but it seems fairly political and specific to instances now so I'm not sure I see a clear set of rules coming from these discussions

I think conversations about defederating instances being the top conversation day after day is going to be a major hindrance to growth.

While many love the fedeverse and the idea, a significant amount of people just want easy to find communities they can engage with, and this non stop internal politics will drive people off them.

Make a set of rules, stick to them. It shouldn't be a community vote or discussion every day.