It’s more a reflection on them than you but don’t put up with it. People will treat you like a doormat, doesn’t mean you need to be rude back but firmly tell them that you are not a punching bag and that you won’t be listening to them anymore. Probably best to avoid speaking with them unless it’s purely work related and any bad reaction can be reported to management. If it’s not dealt with do what you can to get out of there.

“Ak47s for everybody”

Oh man. Generals was the last game that me and some friends played on lan together. Many many hours of fun. Sadly those days are long gone.

I enjoy the fact that people feel safe with and around me. Most men would see it as an insult and a shame on their masculinity that people automatically don’t fear you but I prefer people trusting me. I am not a cave man, maybe my ancestors were but that doesn’t mean I need to act like one. Do what makes you, you! And don’t worry about being an inflated man.

I’d like to get fired so that I am forced to do something else.

This is what I would suggest. Very unique art style and still memorable all these years later.

I do. As often as I can. But sometimes the demand is so high for blood type that they call me up and email me even though I do donate regularly. My grandfather was a lifelong donor also.

I feel fine, the only discomfort is when the needle goes in but it’s fine once it’s done.

I’m not religious for a start so I don’t care for an afterlife. That sounds even worse than current existence. The universe itself starting from nothing though is hard to imagine. So I guess my reasoning is that I think it was always there, just slowly expanding and retracting for eternity. Somewhere in that mess, life happened. Maybe it was a one off and maybe not.

I don’t believe in reincarnation in the sense that I can be born again on this planet as a dog or something. More like whatever makes you “you” was possible in a universe where it probably shouldn’t have been possible. I believe in the Big bounce theory even though a lot of evidence says this is not true, the universe is definitely expanding at an insane rate. I like to think that all matter in the universe eventually comes together in one supermassive black hole and somewhere in that matter soup, another big bang happens. Maybe this time around life doesn’t happen, but maybe after a trillion iterations it does and whatever makes you “you” could happen again. You’d have no memory of it, you’d just be aware of being alive again. If there is just the heat death of the universe and nothing ever happens again then so be it, I was fine before I was born anyway.

It’s unique. Nothing to get too excited about but the story is interesting. I finished the game in 2.1 hours so make of that what you will. Chances are if you like short narrative driven games then you will like it but go in blind for full effect.

You don’t mention if you’ve ever gone to therapy in your post. At least I didn’t see it. I suffered a lot of trauma as a child and still to this day have problems maintaining friendships/relationships because of it. It took me a long time to admit that I actually needed therapy because I could just get on with life and enjoyed solitude, but even though being on my own is something I really enjoy, the thing I need to do most is to have some of my thinking rewired. For that I need the help of a therapist I trust and I urge you to look inside yourself and find the truth of what you want. If it’s genuine human connection you want, it’s something that just comes naturally and can’t be forced. To get to those moments you might need some help with how you think about relationships. I wish you all the best though.

I know it’s their legal defense and all, but it’s not like any of us thought they would seed in the first place. Their business is only about taking for profit, not sharing or giving anything back.

Probably my own injuries. When I was a kid, maybe 9-10, was playing football and one of my friends kicked the ball near some flats. I ran to get the ball and didn’t see a nail sticking out the wall, ran into it with my knee and ripped a huge “smile” into it. 15 stitches and some tetanus shots later I was fine but no football for a few weeks.

Also cut the tip of my finger off, which to my surprise grew back.

If I see any I’ll give it a try. I’d be happy just having 101 via IV drip though

Bad writing is to blame for most of the criticism I think. They are just point scoring if they push a female lead because it’s a female lead. Shitty male leads are pushed constantly but the criticism of them is often ignored because the pedestal is often lower. I couldn’t give a fuck about anything Kevin hart or Dwayne Johnson is in for instance, same with plenty of other badly written male characters. Well written characters do more for films/tv than any shoehorning ever could.

I stick with wild turkey 101. There are other probably better ones, but I find it to be delicious especially considering it’s not expensive.

I have an armchair with a footstool. When it’s cold I use a blanket also. My cat refuses to lay on me for some reason, that would be perfection. Chair, blanket and cat.

It was so slow but almost like an age of wonder.

Bourbon. Once I start, there’s nobody around to stop me. I’m a happy drunk though

Existentialism is the branch of philosophy that deals with these problems, I think you would have an interest in it. I struggled with these kind of questions a lot when I was in my 20s (what is the point? Does anything even matter?). I read a lot and hitchhikers guide to the galaxy was the first book that really eased this anxiety for me. There probably is no point in living, it’s fine. Everyone decides on what they are going to do based on their circumstances in life. In the end the universe may not exist again, so what, we were all perfectly fine before it existed and who knows, maybe everything that made your conscious possible will be able to exist again in another universe, you won’t have memories of your past life, at least you shouldn’t have anyway.

I write a little and one of the first stories I wrote was about a being that created the universe from nothing because it was bored, I made a character narrate later on and his thought process was along the lines of “if you existed in this universe, who’s to say you won’t again in another? Whatever random events lead to life being self aware could happen again. The universe could expand until there is no energy left and then retract until the next big bang does it all again. It may not happen for the next trillion cycles but eventually something could happen again like it is now. Maybe it’s all happened before and we just don’t remember it.”

So, even if you don’t find a purpose. You are not alone in your journey. It’s part of being human, to have awareness of your own existence but powerless to know as to why you exist. Some people just can’t handle those kind of truths, it scares them stupid and that’s why you get things like hedonism, flip it the other way and you get nihilism. Despair can come from both.

My own personal thoughts on it are:

You are alive and you are able to do as you please. You always have a choice. If you make your life a journey of accumulating a larger number than others then so be it, I am happier without playing any number games. I want to see things and meet people and interact with them. I love petting cats and dogs, I love ducks. I enjoy the fact that my tongue evolved enough so that I can enjoy the taste of good food and tasty bourbon. I like to know that I am helping someone or something else not be scared of existing, like if my cat is worried because of a noise, I can soothe her nerves and she doesn’t have to feel fear anymore. I am still able to see the good in humanity even if I don’t have much faith in the world currently. There are problems with society as it currently stands in the west but if everyone can find it in themselves to be honest with each other and help one another out then the world will be somewhere worth living in, no matter how short that time is in the grand scheme of things. One day the sun will explode, will the universe care about some billionaire’s wealth? No. Nor should anyone now, if that’s what they choose then so be it. What really matters is not what you do for yourself but what you do for everything else.

/schizo rant