It's because America is like a cool cowboys and Indians place when you're a kid, then as a teenager it's like the cool music/movie country with big cities and then you reach 40 and you've been to many other countries and realize America just sucks. It's the richest country to ever exist, it could be a literal utopia.
I don't know, the medical bills that result from whatever fun diseases you get from a 99¢ sloppy would probably be pretty high. Lucky for me I'm not American so and we don't have White Castle here.
You know the best thing about long Florida is that they give the best Kentucky cock squeezes in the country. In case you didn't know, a Kentucky cock squeeze is when a man or woman gives you a handjob with nothing but the grease on their hands after eating a bucket of KFC.
My favorite part of peeing is that you can't spell penis without pee. Too bad that moron up in heaven didn't name it a cumnis though, that would've been even better.
I used to peel all my croissants and store them in my walls as insulation then wrap the peels around real insulation and sell them at a local church bake sale. Man those old Christians love eating insulation wrapped in a thin layer of bread.
The pre 9/11 world was truly a different place. I used to cross the border into the states as a 15 year old to go to concerts with nothing but an old red and white Canadian health card that didn't even have a picture on it.
I tried to explain to my 23 year old grandson's co-worker that we used to have to jack off to magazines and he had no idea what the word magazine meant. What a sad little wanker.
I was at the restaurant when I learned of a Tailor who makes shoes out of raisins instead of leather and I got so excited I ran out on my bill and drove as fast as I could to the Tailor to get my hands on some of those sweet raisin shoes. When I got there he had several live mice in a bowl of ice all jamming out to rat in a cage by smashing pumpkins and then suddenly they erupted in laughter and ate my brand new raisin shoes. The tailor then charged me 1800$ for the shoes and refused to validate my parking so I got a 500$ fine. So I went home to my wife and told her we have to sell her car because the ice mice ate the raisin shoes I paid for and we can't afford her car payments anymore. She stared me right in the eyes and immediately pounced on me and we made the most passionate love we'd ever made. It absolutely saved our marriage and with our new found passion we started a couple's only fans and made 5200$ in our first month.
After making enough money to buy her a new car she left me for a woman who dresses as Bozo the clown for a living. Every now and then we have a three-way but I just really really want a pair of raisin shoes.
My nanobot daddy built me a pet robot that runs on wombat cum but I accidentally filled it with Wallaby cum instead so it got angry and showed me a forbidden video from the jungle of an elephant jerking off a few Bonobos with it's trunk.
It's because America is like a cool cowboys and Indians place when you're a kid, then as a teenager it's like the cool music/movie country with big cities and then you reach 40 and you've been to many other countries and realize America just sucks. It's the richest country to ever exist, it could be a literal utopia.