EsheLynn @ EsheLynn @lemmy.blahaj.zone

Posts

12

Comments

104

Joined

2 yr. ago

No you don't. Friend, there are plus-sized cis women. Weight is not gender. Height is not gender.

I'm struggling, too, to find my style. My mom flat out said she won't help me clothes shop. She keeps saying things about how I'm an adult and I should put my big girl panties on and I don't need the support of my mother.

Sorry, inserted my own drama. But my point is, try. I got frustrated a few weeks ago cuz I went to goodwill and they have taken out their dressing rooms. There are other thrift stores tho. And if you are afraid of being recognized in your home town cuz you aren't out publicly yet, go to a thrift store out of your town. Might be good anyways. It could help you be less self-conscious knowing you won't have a possibility of seeing these people ever again.

For sure. Roleplay as different characters can be cathartic. I used to primarily pick female characters in games, and wasn't entirely sure why. I like them. I wanted to be them. On a personal level. I just didn't realize the depth at the time.

After I first came out as trans, I redid my GTA character, to be more in line with how I see myself or my trans goals, and seeing her, me, on screen, feels good, positive. I asked my son to make his goals instead of his current body, and while he enjoyed the gameplay, he enjoys the game that much more cuz he gets to be himself too.

If you haven't tried making "you", and not some charicature of yourself, I highly recommend it.

Good bot. Why don't you sit down and have a byte?

Different strokes for different folks

They wouldn't be paying one person more based on where they live. They would be paying a fair rate based on a formula using miles of commute and current gas prices. Everyone would be paid the same rate. If someone works less hours, is it unfair that the person that works more gets paid more? No, they are being compensated for time, just as the commuters should be compensated for their time and maintenance on their vehicle.

Is it fair that the people that live farther away should have to pay more to come to work that those who live closer? Its not fair to me who has to pay sooo much more in maintenance and gas!

Previous smartass paragraph aside, paying both more doesn't solve the problem. This isn't about who is getting paid more. It's about giving everyone the same tools to succeed. And if I am paying 100$ more a month, I'm making 100$ less a month.

That's fair. The majority of the world isn't Sweden either. Not sure why OP brought country up to begin with, just saying "bring it up to your union" isn't exactly a universal experience either.

Nor is having the opportunity to be within walking distance of your place of employment. Some people live in more rural areas because the cost of living is lower, and that is what they can afford. I speak from experience. I think a universal "cost of transportation" would be helpful to the populous in general. Who foots that bill? The employer. They need you to make their product after all. You shouldn't need a second job just to make it to your first job. Your first job should be able to pay for all of your expenses, including transportation to and from the job.

That's cute that you think America is unionized. Many, many places do not have unions or support for their workers past base things at government level. More often than not, we are shat upon and expected to thank our corporate overlords for the opportunity.

Well, I guess first I'm going to see what HRT does for me before I consider surgery. I know it cant help my bone structure, but I usually don't let people under my skin and muscles anyways.

You know that later Mae Dean comic where she's talking to her doctor and her goal is "this, but girl?" That's my objective. Make my body feel right.

Also, stop looking in the mirror. Stop taking selfies.

Just be. Take a week, breathe, and exist without worrying how "girly you look," or w/e.

Stop being so hyper critical of yourself. I get it, okay? People keep telling me they love my energy, or I have a great smile. I can read between the lines. But that's just it tho. If you emit positivity, people will want to be around that. Stop hating yourself cuz you don't look like Kate Upton. Neither do I. Surely you don't think I should hate myself too?

I dunno, I just think I get enough hate from my own mother and brother, and myself in the form of my depression, that I don't like engaging it. I understand and acknowledge my depression. And I try to separate the depression bullshit from myself.

Ya, I have dysphoria. I hate myself. But if all I do is reflect on that, nothing gets done and I hate myself more. You may not feel you love yourself, but goddammit, try.

I don't understand? Are you threatening me?

Trust me, I never claimed to be a photographer, just an idiot with a phone lol. But ya, I'll take those tips in mind. I really do want to take better pics of myself. Thank you for trying to help!

Oh, I took no offense at all! I get the cool older aunt vibes. I pick up the same thing lol. Ya, I wish I could go all Cali girl, short shorts, crop top, but, it wouldn't be very flattering on my body.

And ya, I just try to make do with what I have.

Okay.

I noticed I do have older auntie vibes on my good days. Not a bad thing, just wish I had a chance to be a hot valley girl, but, not in the cards I guess.

Fake it til you make it, I say! I have no confidence, and I honestly think it shows that I look like a guy wearing makeup. I was pleased with my literal first time putting makeup on tho.

Just goes to show you, I don't know how to take pictures!

I misgendered myself out loud playing Uno with the kids. I dead name myself in my head a lot. I, myself, am dealing with 37 years of conditioning. You are dealing with [your age here] of people calling you [dead name]. It's okay if you slip up. Hell, I still misgender my kids by accident and they've been out for 5 years. Hell, they misgender each other by accident. It happens. Just keep loving yourself.

Well, good luck on trying on clothes, and I wish your wallet a speedy recovery!

This is a wonderful step towards self positivity, and I applaud you!

I agree with others and will say find a hairstyle for you, or experiment! The only thing I know for sure i want for myself is I want to go blonde, but other than that, I'm not sure. So I'm just gonna keep it in a ponytail, grow it out, and when I have the fun money, go get my hair colored and nails done.

Good for you for doing for yourself! Keep it up! We are all rooting for you!

I promise, I'm not being condescending. I really am proud of you.

I'll be honest, I didn't even look at these. I looked the first time you posted a month ago and my opinion hasn't changed. Pretty sure none of our opinions have changed. Please. Seek help. This isn't healthy.

Hon, my point still stands. Every few days you come on here saying "I'm ugly" and we keep saying "No you aren't." Idk what answer you're looking for, but we can't give it to you. I suggest again, find a therapist, and if you have one, talk about your self-image issues.

Edit to add: if you don't like those pics, why are you looking at them? Put them away if they have good memories. Throw them if they don't. Or give them to someone who wants to look at them. Why do you keep torturing yourself by looking at pictures you hate? What penance are you paying to yourself with this self-flagellation? You have the power to delete the pictures you don't like. Why haven't you yet?