Hello lovelies, I am a (trans)Woman who is still in the process of discovering herself!
I have been working up the courage to be who I am for so long, I am excited to be figuring things out.
Pre-HRT, pre-fashion-sense, and pre-confidence.
Any and all tips and advice from more experienced women are welcome!
I think I'm better at trying to copy a voice than I am at making my own, but it's helpful to feel how my throat changes while speaking, so hopefully I'll find my own voice soon enough.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.
Oh definitely, there's a nice chunky crystal of sodium on my plate, I'm just using it as a kind of quick reference, and since the website the other comment had shows real time data, I think I'm gonna switch to that since it's a better "quick reference" lol
My partner watches a lot of short form videos and over the recent months has been getting more and more trans and NB content, and regardless of appearance, the femme voices sound femme regardless of pitch. Heck one of the videos she was watching this morning before I even did my voice training today was specifically about how they change their voice throughout the day. Even after dropping their pitch they pointed out how their voice sounds feminine no matter what their pitch is unless they change other things.
It's just a nice indicator of mild improvement.
Thank you for telling me though, it's nice to hear input from people more experienced with feminine voices, regardless of how they got them 😊
I'll need to check it out tomorrow!
I really want to enjoy it but you know how dysphoria is...
The only concern my partner has with me doing voice training is they thought it would permanently change my voice. They're going deaf and too high or too low of a pitch is harder for them to hear. I assured them that while some speech patterns will change, I can flip back and forth and probably would mostly use my femme voice when I feel uncomfortable or am around unknown people.
Well certainly keep us updated! I don't know how I could help, but by all means let me know, this would be helpful for a lot of people!
My partner (newly discovered NB and fem-presenting ) IS super supportive, they've been helping me with outfits and things. It's just this one spot (and my voice, but I totally understand why they don't want me to use a different voice around them) that seems to be a bit of a blurry area of understanding.
I have tried sending them a few articles (like the gender dysphoria am I trans article) to help better explain why I "wasn't like this before" although they've never said anything like that my own self-doubt wants to explain to her why I was supposedly a man for the last 6 years we've known each other. (we've broached the topic before but they were more conservative when we first met and got super awkward so I didn't bring it up again until long after I dragged them to the left and we started hanging out with the LGBT group in town)
Lmao I haven't measured since high school honestly I'm just guessing, but if your guess is as good as mine then I see no reason beyond my extra fat it shouldn't work...
Maybe we could try to get mods to start a pinned post or something? No need for names or usernames to be attached to anything, just a listing of measurements and clothes that fit.
I used to work retail at a sporting goods store and holy shit the variation within brands is insane. Take footwear, specifically Nike. Last I knew, they had 3 different factories for making shoes. You would think they would send out standardized sising forms so all 3 produce the exact same size. Based on conversations with company personnel,, each factory was responsible for its own forms. And they were a few mm off for each different one. A few millimeters makes a big difference when you're layering things up and squeezing a foot into it. A 6mm offset is enough to trip people on stairs. And based on videos I've seen of a lot of clothing manufacturers, they cut so much fabric at once the size flares outward at the bottom of the stack, and will create different sizing. We had a store brand that was fully a size off from underarmor. And that was men's clothes. Women's were basically a gamble if you didn't use the fitting room before you leave.
Thanks for the info! Have a fantastic day 😊
Yeah, I'm using it as more of a pitch guide, I've got a guitar tuner so I could totally just use that, but I already had the app and it's convenient with graphs and such, so I'll use it.
I'd love to get a couple afternoons with a voice trainer, that would be FAR more effective than an app.
Heck, even a couple videos of trans women going over voice training exercises in a voice I feel I can emulate is better.
I use an app called VoiceTools
It's icon has a microphone and pastel blue/pink trans flag motif in the background.
It has a lot of things on it I haven't even opened yet but one of the options will have you read a couple paragraphs and then at the end it will show you the stuff in the screenshot.
I use android, not sure if it's available elsewhere.
I have been using KT tape to keep the girls tucked away and keep everything smooth. Whenever I do get an incident, the tape keeps everything from shifting too much, but if I'm out walking around and it happens I will have to stop or the movement could push things in a direction I don't want to go....
I have looked into different cages but I really like having a super smooth panty line and none of the cages seem like they'll work with my anatomy and give me the smooth feeling I want.
TMI warning:
I have a "grower" so she's usually around 3-5cm depending on temperature (more like 1-2 if it's early in the swimming season and I'm in the pool) and when things happen she gets to about 10-13cm. The twins tuck up or fall down depending on temperature. Also since I'm a little hefty (170cm/100kg) things are already a little crowded.
So because of the way I am shaped, it either would fall off, the fat around it would make it not sit right, or it just wouldn't give me the ability to wear my leggings.
I would LOVE to find one that makes me flat enough to wear my leggings and still stay on.
Also I'm glad you have a supportive partner in this aspect, my own partner thinks that's pushing too far into "it's a fetish" territory and I can't seem to make her understand what looking down and seeing something I feel shouldn't be there does to me. Yes, to some chastity might be a fetish, but for me it's a means to control my own flesh just a little better. They know I prefer to be smooth, but they don't seem to connect how visibly having a bulge makes me uncomfortable. The tape is probably their line for now, but it takes awhile go put on and make sure it's comfortable. This week is the first week I've been able to wear it all day while walking and sitting.
I have seen some people put a small cotton makeup pad looking thing in the head of their cage, as a way to make it more comfortable to wear. Maybe that might help, but it might also make things worse for you with the extra rubbing.
I'm having a hard time working out where the "puddle" you mentioned would be, but perhaps wearing a pair of panties the next size down would help?
Idk dear I'm sorry I can't be of more help 🙁
I hate having to tip-toe around chaser spaces especially when I'm still new to trying to be part of communities and still unsure where they all are, and sadly any kind of talk like this is bound to draw them in.
I'm glad you're finding something that works well for you though! You go girl! 😘
(ps where did you get your cage?)
And please please please feel free not to answer:
A simple yes or no will do if you aren't comfortable talking about it, ut are you at all similar to myself down there, based on my above TMI spoiler? I just would like to hear from someone similar in type/size to me when dealing with such things
for awhile I've been lamenting that nobody has gone through the trouble of making a database for trans women to input clothing sizes they find comfortable and their measurements. I would love to be able to find clothing without having to trial and error everything and a 5ft9 220lb trans woman isn't exactly common around these parts...
Daily Voice Training
A dotted line and a symbol on the ground do not a bike lane make.
Give me some of them concrete barrier separations.
Hey now, that costs extra!
I am getting the same way, although it's probably less intense since my egg only cracked fairly recently...
I have spent so much on women's clothing the last week and a half, I want to go out looking cute and wearing what I want, but I live with transphobes who would kick me out if they knew, so every day they're awake and I come home, I have to keep a pair of sweat pants and a baggy shirt because I don't want to take off my bra, my underwear, or even my leggings/tights/jeans just to walk 50 ft past windows, inside, and to the door that separates the sections of the house...
I haven't gone out to places where I know someone my family knows might be, and definitely not in crowded stores yet, but walking around downtown in small stores, parks, bars with other trans friends... I've been loving it. I want to dress how I want 24/7 without the stupid self-conscious feelings related to not looking like how I feel and not sounding how I want.
At least while home I can stay in my own areas and wear all the cute things I've been getting lately. still haven't found shoes that fit, and I don't want to order online for footwear but that's neither here nor there....
I definitely feel what you're going through, boymode sucks ass, but talking about it definitely helps me, so if you need to vent about anything, we are all here to listen!
You got this girl, you can kick dysphoria's ass!
Me, up until a few weeks ago!
34, myself. I lucked out with a partner that's going through similar self-discovery and they're bisexual so as long as I'm the same person, they don't care how I present myself.
I have been looking into gender affirming care nearby and I would have to drive an hour away just for an appointment, and I'm looking at probably around $500 for the first appointments and prescription, which is about 1/3 my savings account... So it's been a Rollercoaster of emotions.
Hopefully you have some kind of support structure around you to help you through your own Rollercoaster! If you can find some local LGBT groups, check them out! They're great for resources and just general friendship! I had about 10 people join me at the park for hammocking a few weeks ago, and all of them were from the group.
I finally started voice training again this morning and holy crap I do not like putting effort in because it reminds me of how far I am from sounding remotely feminine... I might have cried a lil lol
I really need some one-on-one time with someone who can teach me and give me pointers for exercises. I can read 10,000 articles, blog posts, forum comments, and the like, but 1 hour with someone interactive who can literally see/feel my throat as I speak would be waaaaaaaay more beneficial.
I went thrifting yesterday and the other people ended up getting busy so it was just my partner and I, and I let them do all the speaking. The one or two times I did say anything it was just a small squeak of "thanks" and "sorry" and a couple "mhmm"s.
I'm hoping I can power through the emotions...
Reading other people's experiences is definitely a good thing for me, so thank you so much for sharing! I'm hoping I can have the same positive attitude soon
Omg that sounds like heaven compared to here! I've always wanted to move to pnw, and if it were an option, we would move on a heartbeat.
I should totally try to get some of the Trans-formers to all move and get a chunk of land in Oregon and make like an lgbtqia+ commune lol
Girl, same!
I also used to sing and losing my upper range over the years has been a source of a lot of crying (edit, started trying to train about 5 minutes ago, cannot continue through emotions. Yay dysphoria!) . I started hating hearing myself in the monitors or just reflected back by the walls, so just starting is making me feel anxious...
The executive dysfunction makes it worse, but it's probably more of an excuse for me... I want the voice I had on highschool.
You know, when I used to pretend to be a girl over voice chat to try and get thirsty guys to buy me things, and sometimes "just to practice so it's more convincing to scam thirsty guys".. That I was sure every cis guy did...
Jesus christ I ignored so many things...
My outfit today!
I wore a skirt today!
I basically used my off-hand to pull my skin a little bit to help with the pencil, and rested my dominant hand as much as possible on my cheek. My eyelid moved a bit on the left side, but it was mostly fixed.
I just went with a super thin line around the top and bottom of the lid, and then put a small flick off to either side. Something simple for today.
I need to find someone who knows makeup (partner was never a girly girl and hated makeup) to sit down with and do some easier stuff. Honestly even a little bit I think might go a long way. I have a somewhat androgynous face and if it weren't for my facial hair I'm wrangling with every day, I think I'd almost pass.
I definitely started out trying to freehand the eyeliner but quickly gave up on that when my hand started trembling.
Damn, I should just find someone to do a full makeover from the shoulders up on me and walk me through the process so I might be able to replicate it.