ICE tries to kidnap random food delivery driver off the street. He jukes them on a foldable bike.
WuTangIsForTheChildren (@wutangforchildren.bsky.social)
This nation has devolved into Tragicomedy.
At any point in the past, most people would criticize "running from the police" but now it's the most socially acceptable it's ever been to cheer someone on.
Well these Meal Team 6 chucklefucks are not police.
Were they looking for this guy or did they just say to themselves “Hey he looks Hispanic, nab him.”
What the actual fuck?!
He was circling on the bike taunting them, saying stuff like "I'm not an American citizen," and the ICE dudes just tolerated it until the bike rider dropped his phone, and detected weakness and pounced, before the guy snatched up his phone and managed to ride away.
Tragicomedy is the best description.
Apparently he had hurt their feelings by shouting "Fuck ICE" at them before this Benny Hill/Keystone Cops routine started.
They might have ordered food, and thought they wouldn't have to pay the tip if they trafficked him.
“Hey he looks Hispanic, nab him.”
that one
In USA for a lot of (unprivileged) folk that was always true, ppl could get in random unrelated trouble for reporting a crime & needing police assistance.
I'm glad I didn't grow up fearing the police, like in an emergency, I would run to them, seeking/getting help.
\
After all, they are public servants, they work for & get paid by the people, they shouldn't be controlled by politics & oligarchs.
Future pizza delivery guy outruns fascist enforcers sounds like an awesome low budget 80s movie but it's not that much fun to actually live through
Reminds me of the first chapter of Snow Crash.
There is Smokey and the Bandit which is another example of the irony of the south.
Smokey and the Bandito
You can tell the cowpoke in the cowboy hat is an expert tracker.
I'm sure this delivery guy was super dangerous by the way he was out in public without lilly-white skin.
Somebody needs to add yakety sax (aka Benny Hill theme) to it
EDIT: Nevermind somebody already did https://bsky.app/profile/luftkraftpikk.bsky.social/post/3lzwu6e7evk26
Thank you so much, I needed to see this
It would be funny if it wasnt so horrible
This brightened my day, thank you
This is incredible.
Meal Team Six is (huff*-puff*) on the (pant*) case!
To be fair, although I'm not sure we need to be, each of them is probably carrying 60 lbs or more of military gear on their body. It's pretty hard to run at full speed with that much extra weight. That info might come in handy in the future, so long as they don't just start shooting if you run away.
No, it's not that hard to run at full speed with that kind of gear. It's hard for these guys because they're cosplaying
The one that makes me laugh the hardest is the guy that leans back as he runs fwd, with his weapon or something bouncing on his chest. Its so comical (he ends up far left when the cyclist gets away)
If you aren't protesting ICE and have a bit of a safety net and a plan on how to deal with these idiots .... don't go anywhere near the US Gestapo because you'll be taken in and disappear.
"Ugh, don't make me run!"
I don't even understand what prompted them to start chasing him. So little of this makes any sense.
Are they just chasing random pedestrians?
They are allowed to racially profile now. Yes, if you don't run in fear from them and your skin isn't the right shade of pink, they will arrest you and figure out if you're legal later.
This is 100% "papers please" nazi bullshit.
Made this for you:
They are punk ass shitstains who think 'if we charge at someone and they run away they must be an illegal'. Nevermind that anyone would flee at the sight of their ugly asses even if they weren't in uniform.
"LOOK! THERE'S ONE! GET HIM!"
That was the entire mental effort that went into it.
I thought the idea behind a uniform was that it was you know uniform. who the hell wears a stetson as official uniform hat?!
These are the same guys that would cosplay special forces in full tacti-cool gear at Trump rally’s and counter protests.
Except now they’re getting a govt paycheck for their incompetence.
Dumbass Texans
I'm honestly surprised someone doesn't start dressing like them and just infiltrate them.
Raylan Givens wannabe.
Is this real? Why aren't they all opening fire? I thought this is America.
Prob no bystanders to potentially get shot, they try to be efficient.
They don't care about bystanders, they just don't want the bad PR.
Skin not dark enough.
They've been instructed to not kill the detainees until they get back to the office. Bad optics.
... multiple highly-trained ppl didn't catch some dude pushing a delivery bike?
At some point it's not even running away from ICE, it's just like casually crossing the street away from a slow moving (fascist, for some reason) zombies.
Oh man, that other guy standing randomly in the way with his bike was lucky they didn't decide to just get him instead. Then again that dude looked much whiter so maybe never was in danger...
No one is safe from the Gestapo
*Gazpacho
At least this explains why my Giordano’s delivery was late.
Ban on foldable bikes incoming ...
I think you mean radical leftist folding bikes.
All new bikes sold may only be able to steer right.
just an ordinary day in us
Is there a database of ICE employees?
Asking for a friend.
Like a horror movie, but with a nice ending
It's a comedy and that comedy is either JoJo Rabbit or 'Allo 'Allo.
That was probably where he wielded a dangerous ham sandwich
What are we missing? Did the biker call them fucking Nazi scum?
So he tried to get away with flattery?
Ah cheers
Apparently he said something like "fuck Trump", and they got big mad.
Okay if GTA is like this then I totally understand now. The way they turned around like pathetic NPCs 😂
Nah, if this was GTA, more agents would have spawned in front of him just off camera, and plowed into him with their cruisers.
GTA’s crazy cops were started because of a coding bug. The game devs wanted cops to navigate to the player then brake, before hopping out of their cruiser to arrest you. The astute programmer has probably already seen the error here… The cops navigated to the player and didn’t start braking until after they plowed into you at full speed. Then once you were laid out on the ground, the cops would hop out of their cruisers to bust you. The devs forgot to add any kind of “brake before reaching the player” distance to the player’s location, so the cops would just run you down at full speed. But during play testing, the devs discovered that the players thought it was a lot of fun, constantly dodging the wildly homicidal cops. So they left it in, and GTA was born.
Who knew kiting worked in real life?
Lmao
Solid example of why dutch style bikes are so nice.