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Were you "popular" in school?

Not that it matters now, but I'm curious. I don't know if I was popular. I had a lot of friends in middle school and I would say I did in high school too, but a lot less people knew me as the middle school I went to was smaller.

43 comments
  • When I first entered high school I wanted to be popular; I associated with all the "cool" kids and even started a half-fake relationship with one of the popular girls. For some reason, one day they all just turned on me and continued bullying me heavily throughout high school...

    I'm actually glad it happened, though. All of those "cool" kids were, how do I put this... fucking morons. A bunch of them were literal drug dealers.

  • Nope. I was the satellite friend. I orbit around other people's friendships and made no effort to foster my own.

  • I was popular in primary school. Then, in High School I hung out with friends who were into Dr Who and nerdy stuff, because I knew and liked them and could never play the social status game by just cutting them off to be cool.

    Four years in, when i was about 15, one of the jocks decided that we were gay (which was social death in the early 90s in rural Scotland), so my status plummeted even further.

    That summer, at 16, I got drunk and had sex with a girl, which was something we both regretted. The rumour got out and that seemd to elevate me, socially. By this point me and my friends were big into Nirvana and had formed our own little clique of stoners so the jocks left us alone.

    I look back on it all with some regret. I wish I'd been more confident. I would have liked to have been involved in team sports and activities that I was drawn to, but my friends derided.

    My understanding is that these days kids are less socially segregated and you'll find nerds doing physical stuff and jocks trying to be academic. Dunno if that's true, but it sounds like progress.

    It was really university that changed me. I left the small town and found people outside that tiny place to be friendlier, and I grew in confidence.

    Looking back, I think the socially harder times in school made me who I am. I'm fairly resilient and find it easier than my colleagues to communicate with others and find common ground. It was a baptism of fire and I was miserable through my teens, but now life is pretty manageable.

  • Definitely not.

    My mental issues developed at around middle school age for reasons totally unknown to me. I stopped talking to most people and had extreme social anxiety. I couldn't relate to my peers, didn't know how to speak to them, and had extreme fears of what they thought of me. I never fit into the mold of a stereotypical girl who was feminine and I never knew how to or was interested in figuring out how to look presentable/stylish like other girls would. I never developed an attraction to the opposite (or even same) sex, which was confusing and felt slightly alienating to be different from everyone. I would chant berating words to myself in my head for some reason all day when walking between classes. I pushed away the one friend I had like an asshole because I was afraid of social ramifications.

    In late middle school/early high school, I discovered that there were communities of people online. I felt extremely comfortable communicating there (text only...was never comfortable with voice), and I credit those communities with helping my sanity for loneliness and also teaching me about how to communicate with others.

    But I never really learned to make friends in person. Occasionally, someone in high school would try to befriend me but I literally did not catch on. Behavior like people randomly wanting to sit next to me or chat with me confused me. It is only after the fact that I realized they were trying to befriend me.

    I have no idea why that happened with me. I was never bullied.

    There was a group of girls that I grew up with that eventually shut me out which was very hurtful, but I don't know that it really happened before I got all weird to trigger it. I think when I got weird, they noticed and shut me out.

    Some of us just ended up crazy for no discernible reason I guess.

    I get that puberty can be a rough time for everyone, but I didn't really notice other peers having the same degree of social impairment as me. My siblings growing up did not either. I actually asked my mom not to have a graduation party for me (because I didn't have any friends but I didn't tell her that).

    I'm in my 30s and still interact primarily online, but I would say I am significantly more adept and comfortable at interacting with others in person. In a work environment, I am totally comfortable and confident. In a party environment for example, I freak out.

  • From kindergarten through high school I was always adjacent to popularity but never popular. I got along with all the subgroups, which was convenient since I never really had to worry about being a target.

  • No, I was not and unfortunately was often picked to be bullied until I raged and went to his throat to close it (English isn’t my native language so don’t know to explain it otherwise).

    After that no bullying but wasn’t popular either. However, fun fact; no one who was popular at that time succeeded it life. They didn’t really went far either education and some even went to jail.

    And myself? I got myself from a practical school to now having bachelor degree. So, fuck them.

  • God no. I was very socially awkward. Funny enough though I was a bit of a clown and did a few funny things in front of some people and ended up being known as the "funny guy". But people would just come up to me and ask me to say something funny, and I never had any idea what to say.

  • My highschool was a smaller charter school that was essentially a bunch of connected / encircled modular buildings.

    I actually kinda miss it because it had different vocational paths and I ended up in a student-run computer shop. We actually fixed things around the campus and other people's machines and stuff. Shame that sort of thing kinda fell out of relevance, job-wise!

    We also had a large computer lab where we played things like CounterStrike Source, Battlefield Desert Combat or 2142, and sometimes Unreal Tournament maybe?

    Lol anyway, to your question: I think I might have been popular-ish. In the sense that I think I was a sort of "ambassador" between groups.

    I made friends with the drama kids, the nerds, had some goth friends, stoner / skater friends, and I'd often introduce them to each other. I had my "circle" but I was that guy who sorta knew almost everybody.

    I think the thing I miss most is that everyone saw each other as individuals back then. Surface level you might fit with a "group" sure, but we tended to see each other as people and for the most part they got along.

    But sadly when I moved away after graduation, only like one friend really made the effort to keep up with me over the years. :( Quality best friend though!

    But I still think of them often and hope they're doing okay in this crazy world...

  • I was something like a popular class clown eventually. The first six years of school (ages 7 to 13)(or really 6 to 13, because i had the same classmates since preschool in the same building) I went to a really small school in my more rural part of the rural town that I grew up in (seriously the entire school had three classrooms in the building with one teacher teaching two different years at the same time i guess? because there were still 6 different classes for each year, and i seem to remember it being like that, but i seriously can't be sure anymore). So weren't enough people to start discriminating against. But then the last three I went to the larger school in the centre of our town (and where everyone from every local elementary school went for secondary school), with more students and thus more room for discrimination. And there I found out I was on the last rung of the ladder with the rest of my class... But then again I did seem to fall into quite a deep depression at this time and grew completely alienated to most of my male classmates, some of whom i had had since even before school, so it can well be that I more or less imagined being as much of an "outcast" as I thought I was. But be it as it may, I've yet to be in any kind of contanct with most of them since secondary school ended, when upper secondary school started I found myself alone. Luckily, a fellow as-of-yet undiagnosed autistic kid found a likeminded individual in me, and took my introverted ass under his more extroverted wing for protection. Even more lucky was that this kid (who i still consider a brother to me, after all these years. i am not exaggerating when i say that he saved my life many times, and showed me unrivaled patience even more) had large amounts of friends from the local sports teams and related folks, so I kinda basically just slided right in. Indeed – despite all the depression and anxiety, and the general teenage drama, and the fact that the town we grew up in was so completely devoid of anything else to do for most people our age that we drank a whole lotta alcohol – to quote Bryan Adams in The Summer of '69 - Those were the best days of my life.

    ps. forgive me for any typos and such, i am what we in the profession call blazed. i have awoken and atoken, so to say

  • Not me, but my producer, Neigsendoig. He was into rap since 2014 or so, and really started getting popular for his charisma since 2015 (despite some things he did that were just awful). Ultimately, his charisma was what got him to be popular, not to mention his beginner rap skills at the time.

  • Wouldn't say so, wasn't bullied or anything but I was someone who was always around people but like on the side occasionally saying some morbid shit

  • No, never was. I'm glad I'm not.

    And to hit it home how unpopular I was, when I got my senior yearbook, I was in a particular section of the book where they seemingly put the undesired students in. Like, every senior got pages where they got nice pictures, they got a quote and some bio of them. Where I was at, there was none of that, just a couple pages of pictures of students they don't care for, even though we all got the same piece of paper that asked us what we'd like to say. Didn't matter.

    Funny how none of the people who ran that yearbook staff, went on to do bigger and greater things. I haven't heard of or read their names doing anything significant. Just goes to show people just have a lot of ego in schools.

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