2d ago

Republicans Breathe Sigh of Relief as White Shooter is Transexual

(Minneapolis, MN) After years of declaring the dangers of respecting gender, republicans are quietly optimistic that the recent school shooting in Minnesota, killing two children and injuring many others, will justify 50 years of loud and often violent hatred of transexuals. “We have said for many years, these people need to be driven into the streets and shot like animals,” said one republican pundit on fox news Thursday, “and this one shooting confirms all our years of fear were correct.”

This enthusiasm is widespread among the far right, while some admit that this shooting is a breath of fresh air, after dozens of mass killings by straight, white, conservative males in a row. “I’ll be honest,” said Jerub Cornflour of Kansas, “after all these troubled men who couldn’t get mental help in time in a row, I was starting to think the guns were the problem. I mean, that Trump boy voted for him. But this shows that trans people mean to kill us all, and it’s not the guns, it’s the gay.”

“Would of been nicer if he wasn’t white, though,” he added.

This mental contortionism is widespread in America, where even the idea of banning weapons would be met with laughter at this point. As communities grieve and enter the second of three days they will discuss the tragedy, republicans are just glad they have something to blame other than mental health.

“This is a real tragedy,” lamented Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in rural Georgia. “You have to look at children dying like this and wonder what bathroom he used.”

24 comments

The person wasn't even actually trans. They were a detransitioner that took a hard turn into Nazi politics. They're either someone who found being trans wasn't for them, or an actual trans person who decided being a Nazi was worth repressing their identity.
- Or just someone chasing the internet identity dragon, who never stopped to think for themselves about who they wanted to be, endlessly chaining to the next wave of trends and goings-on.
  What a horrible way to live. It's like disappointment-maxxing.

I don’t think this was written in good taste.
Myself and the rest of the transgender community was hated before, and we’ll continue to be hated afterward.
The best kind of support to show is the kind that uplifts us.
Thank you for caring about us, though. It means a lot.
- I thought about both this one and the Thoughts and Prayers one a bit, and did a lot of writing and deleting.
  This is an important topic, and pointing out the ridiculous inconsistencies of right wing thought is important. But Poe’s Law has been a curse as long as the general public found the internet. I hope the clear confusion and drifting positions of the right wing characters makes clear they’re confused people trying to justify their hate of being made to confront their conflicted feelings of not being completely cis. I feel I did okay, but it’s not something you can go too over the top with.
  Sarcasm is a biting tool that can make people see the flaws in their argument. Trans people need every tool that can be applied to help people see they’re just other people.
- For what it's worth, you and your community are also loved. Though I know it can be easy to forget, these days.
- well fwiw, i love you.
  be well out there in this mean old world.
- It's in bad taste but I don't think it's for a bad reason. I understand what you have all been through and truly despise the hate for you, but someone needs to shove a mirror into the faces of these fucking idiots and show them how dumb they look. Will it work on most of them? No, probably not. But for every one of these articles out there I'm sure there's at least one person realizing how stupid they look. It's not a big change, but any step forward is good news. When I was a kid gay marriage was still illegal. Nowadays most of the kids growing up don't give two shits about your sexuality because their parents are focused on gender now.
  I'm not trying to say that your struggle isn't real and that a lot of these people aren't just fucked in the head, I'm just trying to say that even in dark times like this there is always a chance to help someone realize they are an asshole. If every republican was a complete sociopath we'd have gone full fascism decades ago. They're just ignorant and scared because that's exactly how the new regime wanted them. My parents are hardcore republican but are also surprisingly cool with my brother having a transgender girlfriend and my little sister being transgender. They're ignorant and don't understand it, but they're not actively against it.

Bad article.
The only incorrect thing is the idea that they're relieved. This has just given them ammunition. Don't enable Nazis.

But went full Republican Nazi so that's bad...

You should have seen what republicans were saying before the identity came out. I saw comments like "this is a hate crime. I bet we all know what ethnicity they'll be" or "in a democratic city. Big surprise" or "can't wait to see the libs talk about the crime rates."
To be fair, I'm pretty sure 80% of republicans on Reddit are bots or Russian after going through their communities. Every post has less than 500 upvotes unless it's big news. Half the posts are just pandering with like 50 upvotes and one comment saying something like "Go Trump!" And nothing else yet they have over a million subscribers on some of them. I honestly feel like it's just bots talking to each other akin to dead internet theory. The only time there are actual in depth comments is on big news and the highest upvoted comments are usually calling Trump out when he does something shitty. They were pissed about the flag thing just as much as everyone else. And if it's not constructive they will say the exact same thing about people on the left about being in a cult that the left says about them.
This is just my opinion, but I think the internet is the cause of most of the division between left and right. Both sides say the other is in a cult and absolutely crazy. Both sides say the other is falling for all the propaganda. And both sides consider the other evil in every aspect of the word. When Epstein comes up the left says "I don't care if Clinton is in them, lock them all up." When Epstein comes up the right says "I don't care if Trump is in them, lock them all up." Like, I feel like if we all just sat the fuck down and talked it out we'd all come to the same conclusions on a lot of the issues that have divided us. Of course, I speak mostly of republicans, not MAGA. They're basically a different group entirely within republicans right now, especially offline.
But at the end of the day, the republicans have really fucked up the US in so many ways. They unknowingly, and some knowingly which is the worst part, voted for fascism. Never forgive them for what they did. But at least give them a chance to make it right when they realized they fucked up. A lot of them are ignorant, not stupid. You can't teach stupid, but you can teach the ignorant.

ouch

Oh god dammit. I don't even know what story this satire is referencing at this point.
Hey assholes who don't think we need gun reform! Listen up! You need a reason why we need gun reform? How about the fact that gun shootings are so common now, that I didn't even hear about this one. Now public shootings need a twist. Why? Because some nutjob shoots someone at a movie theater in 2014? It's news. The stations can make money off people paying attention.
But in 2025? Nobody cares. Public shooting? Which one? OH! The one with the trans nazi? Ok, NOW it has a unique hook that differenciates it from all the OTHER public shootings.
See? Thats where we are. Thats why we need gun legislation. Seems to me that everybody across all political spectrums can agree that pedophiles being around children is bad. And I agree. Any tools they might have to abuse kids should be taken away. Everyone can agree.
So why can't we agree to take the tools away needed to make school shootings a common reality. I was alive when columbine happened. For younger people here, this may come as a surprise, but the nation was glued to the news for weeks over that. 9/11 obviously overshadowed it 3 years later, and it's since lost it's impact due to school shootings being so common. But in 1998? It would have been story of the year had it not been for a Bill Clinton sex scandal.
Thats how absurd and crazy it was that a mindless public shooting happened. At all. And at a school no less. We'd had gun violence before in this country at that point, but mostly it was person A hates person B, and shoots them. Columbine was just shoot anything that moves. And at that point in time, that concept was wild and almost unheard of.
Now? Now it's so common that it would be like reporting on a cat chasing a mouse. Happens all the time.
So, pro gun nuts, if you want a reason why we need to start regulating guns in this country..... That. All of that. Just for a start.
- Why do you want to regulate guns during a time where the government is turning fascist?
  Also, no, no matter how much gun control you pass, the cops won't take away guns from violent right wingers. They don't want to upset their buddies.
  
  .........fuck. You're right.
- Quality context:
  The Right Uses A Mass Shooting To Ramp Up Anti-Trans Hate - EVEN MORE NEWS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDWuRJBqy98
- I mean, if the person that wanted to shoot children didn't have a gun this would have never happened. They always come up with the most complicated reasons for why we don't need gun control, but if this person didn't have a gun this would have never happened. They'll talk about mental health and antidepressants all day (while defunding all those programs) but as soon as you mention gun control it's a "political issue." They'll gloss over and ignore mass shooters as just something that happens yet if someone was holding a gun to the head of someone they love they wouldn't just sit there and respect that person's gun rights.
  
  My guy, there are 400 million guns in the US and rising. The genie's been out of the bottle for too long. There is no conceivable way to take those guns away from people without either paying very little to buy back those guns, which isn't viable because there is no way some dude will sell their custom competition AR-15 that cost them 3000 dollars for 100 to the government, or a massive authoritarian crackdown that would result in hundreds of thousands of deaths.
  Every single person who commits mass shootings/school shootings is usually a white supremacist who was known to the police to be a dangerous individual and yet they took no action. And, even if they knew about him, they don't usually do anything because, like RATM said, some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses. They don't want to upset their racist buddies. It doesn't matter how much gun control you pass if the cops won't do anything about dangerous white supremacist gun hoarders. In fact, any gun control passed is just used against minorities and minorities only because they know if they tried that shit against white supremacists they'd get another Waco. You can clearly see this on the way ICE is operating, they're not deporting dangerous criminals from cartels, they're deporting regular ass immigrants who just LOOK like they're "illegal".

Kinda missed the mark from the headline. You know not all Trans people are Gay, right?
- Which of the republicans in the article do you believe I am, exactly?
  
  Satire is based in fact. This is just some things you thought were funny. Not really good writing for comedy.
- This is The Onion
  
  No, this is Patrick!
  I write these actually.

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