Lick it

70 comments

The unfortunate answer is that it knows through long forgotten experience... Anything a toddler sees goes in the mouth.
- I'm pretty sure it's my brain extrapolating from that baby experience and combining it with finger sensations. I didn't have the opportunity to lick a basketball or (US) football but my tongue can surmise the difference in the bumps because my fingers know.
  
  Suuuuure, buddy.
  
  Yeah weirdly (or maybe not) when we get down to it too, every sense is a sense of touch. Your ears touch the vibrations in the air, your nose touches the particles in the air, your eyes feel the touch of the light that hits them, skin is self explanatory, and then your tongue, which is touching on a very miniscule level while checking for all the chemicals and seeing if your nose is confirming that the touch is similar to the particles
- Unfortunate? That's an important part of learning as a toddler.
  
  Sucking on couches & table legs & footballs. Toddlers have a lot going on at school.
- Some toddlers have helicopter parents who never let them put anything in their mouth. Will they be stunted in their growth and development and sensory skills?
  
  I think you might be onto something.
  I have no idea how dick would feel on my tongue, because I've never had one on my tongue.
  
  Seems likely to me
  
  Oh, these kids will make their experiences whatsoever. Even helicopter parents need to do stuff from time to time and kids somehow KNOW if they are not watched, ever for a second. It might take longer to make all the experience one needs, but they will get them one way or another.

I guess infancy is just about establishing a fundamental texture profile to use in adulthood. A standardised collection of mouthfeels. PANTONGUE™️
- I was thinking exactly this while reading the meme. Our first experiences with the world are touching things and then putting them in our mouths. We build a cognitive database of touch- and taste-based sensory data from day one. Of course that’s going to inform our thoughts later on!
- I'm just realizing from your comment that the pan- in PANTONE is the same as the pan- in pansexual.

False. I have no idea what licking lava would feel like.
- Ever eaten Hot Pockets?
  
  Hotdogs/brats with cheese in them are in the same category.
  
  "Is your Hot Pocket cold in the middle?"
  "It's frozen, but it can be served boiling-lava hot."
  Hot Pockets!
- Pain. Your face may also feel some, as well.
  
  Ok, fair enough.
- Not yet. Wanna try together?
  
  Hi, my name's Lava
- If it weren’t for the skin incinerating temperature, it’d probably feel like softened caramel
- I assume it works best when you see the things in front of you at least once, rather than just images, and I've never seen lava in real life

A healthy anus can tell the difference between solids, liquids, and gasses.
- just because it can tell the difference doesn't mean you can necessarily do anything with that information. sometimes that train, she comes quickly.
  
  Ain't no stopping that train.
- Pretty much every asshole I know can do that
  
  You test them? Your parties must be unsettling for new friends!
- That's due to the anal sampling reflex
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rectoanal_inhibitory_reflex

My fingers also know.
\ As does my pp.
It's the brain.
The same damaged brain that can't tell how it will feel doing something it enjoys.
\ That a fuck.

There’s an indie game that just came out called Dragon Detective, where investigation is about using the five senses, plus the sixth sense of magic.
You would think that Taste would be a fringe-use sense that barely comes up, but no, this dragon really does lick the whole crime scene to judge the makeup of an object.
“S-Stop! Please stop licking the walls!!”

My tongue didn’t account for the taste when it longed for the anus last night.
- There’s no accounting for taste, famously

Your ear knows how it will feel too, and your pinky toe, and your nose...
- … and my penis?
  
  Easy there, Vance

I looked at a lint roller and I’m pretty positive I have no clue what licking that would be like
- Extra sticky postage stamp.
- Lightly used lint roller and wet tongue? Fuzzy and tacky but slippery. Unless you dry out your tongue first, then it'll just stick in a weird and unsatisfying way.
  
  There's a satisfying way to lick a lint roller and you know this how?
- Only one way to find out. Do it... For science!
- The silicone type of lint roller would probably feel like an unusually firm silicone dildo and the sticky tape type would probably feel slippery like postage stamp and taste with that sickly sweet chemical adhesive taste

The table leg feels like kiki and the football feels like bouba. Easy

Isn't this the same for hands?

I've seen this before, but I have to wonder: has anyone actually tested it? Like sure, you can imagine what licking asphalt would feel like, but have you ever just done it to make sure your imagination is right?
- Most definitely as a baby or toddler, yes you have. And if it was not asphalt it was similar stuff like walls and such.
  As soon as one has enough data and a brain developed enough one absolutely can tell the feel and taste of stuff even if not tested.
  Bonus points if your a parent. Toddlers WILL force stuff in your mouth and you WILL have the chance to test the theories.
- Asphalt tastes like gummy bears for a second.

Oh, my stars! Does that mean.... Oh, goodness 🫢

My tongue is defective

You can very easily disprove this by imagining how an object will feel, and then licking it.

Now do the vacuum compartment of my Roomba. Mmmmmmm ...

70 comments