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  • TRIGGER WARNING: man rant with a hint of mysticism and philosophy..

    Something all mums need to see.

    Picture of a sign in my kitchen which reads, "GOOD MUMS have sticky floors, Messy kitchens, Piles of laundry, dirty ovens and HAPPY KIDS"

    Mr Peeler cracked the shits about how the kitchen was untidy. Admittedly I didn't clean up very well yesterday, I felt fucking awful and it was an effort to drag myself through any task. I reminded him that he has made plenty of mess in the past week and cleaned none of it. He countered that he was sick. I reminded him I was too, and am still recovering! But only people with main character syndrome are allowed clemency for illness😒 Anyway, to cut a long story short (and a lot of futile self defence type arguing and bullshit out) I have this sign in my kitchen. After a similar argument many years ago, I left the house and went for a walk. I found myself in the op shop around the corner from my house. I walked into the store and there it was, this sign, perched atop a collection of kitchen bric-a-brac. It was literally the first thing my eyes saw when I entered the store. I shit you not, I swear on both my parents graves, there was a soft shaft of light from a high window that fell across some of the kitchen stuff, including this sign. It was so freaky! It was like, a sign but also a sign. You know, a sign sign. Of course I bought it, took it home and placed it in a prominent part of the kitchen, where it remains to this day. Mr Peeler later admitted he'd been a total dick. As he always does. Having the impulse control of a 5yo is not easy for a 60+yo boomer. He does not seem to be able to stop those first words from coming out, and having been in too many relationships where I didn't adequately stand up for myself if at all, I am shockingly defensive and do not back down in an argument.

    Additional thoughts: I've spent altogether too much time in pubs, bars and taverns, done a frightening amount of drinking, and been in the position where it's late at night and the talk has turned personal. Older men often speak of their mothers, especially after a recent bereavement. I've never once in my whole life heard a man say, "my mum was a good lady but I wish she'd cleaned the oven a bit more often," or "I wish mum had vacuumed more often." They do say things like, "my mother never held me," "my mother never told me she loved me," "my mother was really cold to me my whole life and I never knew why," "my mother put dad first and us kids came a long way second." Because these are the things, at the end of the night, at the end of life itself, that really fucking hurt.

    Thankyou for humouring my rant!

    • Nobody knows I have a dirty oven because nobody else uses it.

      • My oven's not generally too dirty.. in a small place if the oven's dirty and you heat it up the stink goes through the place too much. Mm, charcoal anyone? But I did go through very bad post natal depression after the second child and was lax with the oven. Actually I was lax with everything. Mr Peeler refuses to use a microwave so every time he heated up anything the house smelt like old bbq.

      • damn the glass door ones đŸ€š

    • Looking at my boomer parents and the 'kitchen dynamic' for my poor mum I feel this rant.

      It's what got me into cooking. It's fukn hard work and severely underappreciated.

      • It so is. Also the buying and storage of ingredients, prepping, cleaning up, all those things that should be done via magic.. if I could only get it to work. I used to be simultaneously jealous and derisive of Sabrina from Bewitched. Like, you can literally just wiggle your nose! Why do it all manually“

    • I love my mum, but she expects so much of me and it frustrates me. Especially when she pulls the same stuff I do. Like she'll leave things out but then gets mad at me when I do. Gets mad when I don't clean things, but she doesn't clean things.

      Like, I don't really care if the house looks like a mess. My friends always tell me how clean my house is, and like obviously I notice the crumbs and such, but mum gets ridiculously embarrassed that the house is messy. She'll be like "I'm so sorry about the mess!" and it's like yeah it's not spotless, but people live here.

      Honestly, this skit from Chris Flemming is exactly my mother.

  • Found out tonight that Montana is a red state. Dad ordered a Bud Lite at the restaurant and the waiter informed him that they haven't sold it since the "Bud Lite fiasco".. I looked up what that was and realised where we are. Do a quick Google to see how ridiculous these people are.. or just Click here

    Then I thought back through my day and realised I haven't seen one black person here. I also recall seeing one of those cheap novelty tshirt stores on the main street, one tshirt being Trump with big 80's sunglasses on and it said "I'll Be Bach", which isn't even clever. There's no Bach joke there, it's just a Terminator reference and it's Back. Now I'm silently judging everyone I see.

    • As much as I hate America, I sure as hell do know a lot about American politics and the whole "culture war" shit. But like yeah, right-wing nut jobs essentially boycotted Bud Lite and the reason was... get this, that they sponsored a video of Dylan Mulvaney, a trans woman who has been documenting her transition on TikTok everyday. But the maddening thing about it is, is that the Bud Lite with Dylan on it was only for her, it wasn't for anyone else. So all these dickheads buying Bud Lite to shoot at it, or going into stores that sell Bud Lite and trashing the place.

      And the sad thing about it... Bud Light never reached out to Mulvaney about this situation to ask if she was okay. This probably is stated in the link you posted, but I guess this is a shorter version. I just have loads of thoughts on this.

  • e: despite her deep comfort I was saved by a knock on the door from a neighbour which dislodged her and finally got me going. Taking a tram after ages and this is one of the less hectic 109s. They gotta figure out better transport though the tram gets so packed once it hits those masses of apartments recently popping up in Abbotsford near IKEA.

  • The need to clean and hang out clothes is strong but so is the need to nap. Think I will do the clothes then let myself have a lil snooze. Life has been so hectic lately I just keep crashing everytime I stop.

    So order of the afternoon (I got a walk and some food prep done this morning so that's good)

    Hang out clothes Nap / lazy snoozing Clean kitchen and vacuum Suss out the diary for the week. More snoozing.

    • Take a walk: Buy milk and look for dish cloths
    • Eat something
    • Dust
    • Vacuum
    • Shower
    • Eat something more
    • World Cup Final
    • Eat something before bed

  • Well shit, housemate is proper sick, it comes out at the ER that they are having head issues and we're just hiding them thinking they'd go away. It's going to be a very very long night of testing and obs it looks like.

    Have to say first time in a long time I've seen the state of our ERs and jebus it's bad, lots of very sick folks just plonked in a corner and poked every hour or two just to make sure they aren't dead.

  • I is doing thawed hopefully chicken tikka masala for dins.

    Also had to farewell bboi butters the burmese until next time. He's the almost best kitty not beyond my old abyssinian though. Difficult to say, hard to appraise. Very conflicting. He's up there.

  • Exercises completed, very carefully and slowly. I wanted to keep in the rhythm of it and keep up my good habits. I feel like Sisyphus today đŸ«žđŸȘšâ›°ïž Yesterday I managed to make devil's food cupcakes with my daughter, just an activity to keep her engaged with the whole cooking thing and something to break up the day. We didn't have muffin pans the correct size so they were just placed ad hoc on a tray, and some of them came out looking a bit funny!

    Picture of reddish coloured cupcake in a red patty case with cream cheese frosting, one of the ones that came out ok, held by a work worn hand.

    Despite the consumption of said cakes, I managed to get under the 80kg mark! Woot! I seem to be building muscle, so while I am getting a little slimmer I've not lost much weight. This is fine and I'm happy with it, I've noticed I'm much stronger at work. But I've still wanted to get under 80kg for a while now. For me that's kind of a danger zone health wise.

  • I woke up so late today I decided not to have any caffeine and only managed one round of my twice daily medication. Amazingly, I am still upright and conscious and even thinking of making dinner.

    This bittergourd really needs to be made asap. Curry it is, to go with this voluminous amount of leftover green rice. I'm going to add so much. Mum's roasted curry powder, kashmiri chilli, turmeric, fenugreek seeds, a good few slivers of cinnamon, curry leaves, pandan leaves (frozen), and maybe some tamarind paste. And coconut milk at the end.

    E: it's still fucking bitter - should've soaked it more - but has a bunch of other amazing flavours playing along with it.

    E2: I take it back, I think it's becoming a bit less bitter as the flavours meld. It might be fine tomorrow

  • Dinner in West Yellowstone, Montana tonight is elk 🩌, bison 🩬 & beef 🐄 "big game" meatloaf.

    Edit: food tax, although the angle makes the meatloaf look small when it was huge

    • You still travelling? How’s it all going?

      • Yah it's still week 1 of 4! It's going pretty well. I'm travelling with my parents though and it turns out over the years they have turned into doting old people which is frustrating.

  • Butters is helping my hangover.. he knows.

    I wouldn't call it empathy though.. he's still disappointed.

  • Finally booked in for a physio appointment. My last one was June and I just don't feel like I'm getting any better. My normal physio is on maternity leave, so I've had to book with a new physio. I hate having to meet a new health professional because you've got to explain your life story almost. This is the same thing with doctors, psychs, councillors, etc. But here's hoping that I can get better. It's really annoying just how in pain I am everyday.

  • I'm barracking for Spain purely because of how hot their coach is. Hnggg

    Okay also because I'd like to see England trounced

    • I want to see England get their arses handed to them. Furthermore, I think the Spanish coach and quite a few of the players are cute af.

      Edit: that umpire gotta fukn go though

    • He's a stud! đŸ„” we have the same hair

  • Misanthropy brews. Sorry if I've seemed pissed off lately, but I have been. I hope it's just the nicotine withdrawal.

    I keep getting reminded in AA that many of the people there are super ill. Both by members and the ill people with their awful behaviour. A lot of misgendering and ridicule or creepy comments about my appearance. It's been mostly good for me, as it's developing a routine and meeting other sober people, but I'm having doubts about staying long term like some of the cultists as I call them. The whole idea of getting people to sponsor each other is quite problematic, as they have zero training and there is no training or place to complain about someone being really bad at it except to other members, and then you're kinda breaking the anonymity. Nothing's perfect and it definitely works for a lot of people, but there's also a pretty low retention rate in the program. I won't throw in the towel yet, but I've definitely narrowed my scope and actual places I can feel safe without getting resentful or angry with someone else in the room, which is exactly what we're told to avoid. We're supposed to turn the other cheek and try and help that person, but they're a creep, they're obviously going to take it the wrong way.

    end rant.

    has anyone else had any experience with these anonymous groups?

    • I haven’t. But I have heard complaints about new women frequently being creeped or preyed on by more established members. They call it uhh
 the 13th step? It really doesn’t seem productive to put really ill and vulnerable people all in together.

      All I can say is go with your gut and don’t turn the other cheek to creepy or disrespectful behaviour. That’s your self preservation speaking. Perhaps see about a women’s group (if they behave any better that is).

      • Yeah the women in the program are generally better behaved . There's just not many specific women's groups and some of them are very not welcoming of trans women. I'm supposed to feel empowered and closer to my higher power after meetings, but mostly I'm just fucking annoyed now lmao. Oh well, I've stopped drinking, stopped smoking weed and stopped vaping. But I was told not to stop vaping and I stopped smoking weed ages ago, but I needed something to replace drinking with other pissheads on the internet and it has done that.

    • I've read a few scientifically based books about AA programs and everything you experienced as being problematic has been documented .

      But there are other problems too, they teach people to be weak , they teach that all problems are equal ( when they are not ) , they use pseudoscientific/religious jargon

      AA is also seen as all a person ever needs when most people would benefit from seeking a qualified counsellor or cbt therapist when they have outgrown AA

      they teach that people will never be better ( when the fact is they will )

      AA is good in that it can provide a friendship support group, it can be non-judgemental, it is free

      • Yeah the whole being powerless forever is fine for some. Some people really do bottom out and let alcohol cause major problems in their lives. They can't be better and really need a solution.

        I haven't done that, nor do I have the shitty character flaws you're supposed to ask your higher power to remove or harbour a lot of resentments. The ones I have, I've been told by members to seek professional help for, well duh. People drink because they're traumatised. No amount of saying the serenity prayer is going to make me get over some things. I don't need to make amends either, I've never fucked anyone over or slept around. Sure I missed a couple of things cos I was hungover, and my family and friends were concerned about my health, but they were pretty easy for the people to move on from after an apology and my usual lovely behaviour, plus not being hungover and or drunk.

        I guess for me it's been a cheap rehab, which I needed. I was in despair and drinking myself to death, but I've recovered. The book is way too old and while being somewhat still contemporary it's just not been revised to accommodate things like adhd, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and the extra pressures of the modern world.

        All the cultists just keep saying, keep coming back, what the fuck for? To be called a drag queen or creeped out and told my whole life has been a failure?

  • I have 4 jigsaw puzzles I haven't done sitting in my cupboard. I have cleared a space on my table. I think I will do the Bunny Town one, it's just a few hundred cute bunnies doing stuff. I buy difficult ones, generally tones of one colour, but this one is just cute. :) When it's done I'll post a pic. :)

  • I really don't want to have to get up and go to work tomorrow. â˜č Miss Meow also thinks it would be better if I stayed home and provided lap service during the day.

    • I'm pretty sure a note from Miss Meow is as good as a doctor's certificate. Sounds like you definitely need a day off.

      • Tempting, but I promised to mentor another staff member today, so not a good day for it. Plus I've managed to actually accumulate some sick leave after using it all up during Covid and various issues, I'm quite enjoying knowing I actually have a safety net there if I really need it.

        In general though I am lucky not to need a doctor's note - we just need a Stat Dec, and I work at a place where most staff members can witness Stat Decs so it is a pretty easy requirement to fill. 😁

  • Hmm I feel a bit sad at having napped my day away today.

    I haven’t done much but eat breakfast and lunch and sit down and watch the footy while drinking a coffee and some dish washing.

    Ok maybe I played some games on my phone as well so that’s something but still.

  • I think I mentioned this two weeks ago, but man, I hate being in a middle-distance relationship. It's nice that we don't live like an hour and a half away any more and it's like 20minute car rides. But ugh. I'm always going to cry like a baby whenever my partner has to go.

    I know that this 2% thing Labor is doing might be a pipedream, but I need to move out. Love my mum and sister but sometimes it's super difficult living here. I just want to live with them.

  • Have three lines of a song stuck in my head and try obsessively as I might to find it I just can't, I can't even remember where I heard it. This is going to be what sends me over the edge, three lines of a song.

  • Heart skipping beats, hangover has me defeated.
    \ Still haven't pooped, must've fully retreated.
    \ Head pounding, I can smell dinner cooking.
    \ Eyes throbbing, but the cat is purring.
    \ This too shall pass, though this moment is lasting
    \ Forever, it goes on, and though I feel better,
    \ My heart's skipping beats,
    \ This hangover is lasting forever.

  • Shit. Just remembered there's a tradie coming round at 7.30am tomorrow to do some fence repairs. After working all weekend I was looking forward to a lie-in. It might be a two day job as well. Argh!

  • Breakfast đŸđŸŽđŸđŸŠđŸ‹đŸˆđŸ«đŸ“đŸ‡đŸ‰đŸŒđŸ’đŸ‘đŸ„­đŸđŸ„„đŸ„ŠđŸ„‘đŸ«›đŸ†đŸ…đŸ„đŸ„ŹđŸ„’đŸŒœđŸ„•đŸ„đŸ đŸ«šđŸ„”đŸ§…đŸ„ŻđŸžđŸ„–đŸ„šđŸ§€đŸ§‡đŸ„žđŸ§ˆđŸłđŸ„šđŸ„“đŸ„©đŸ—đŸ–đŸ„ȘđŸ•đŸŸđŸ”đŸŒ­đŸ„™đŸ§†đŸŒźđŸŒŻđŸ„—đŸČđŸœđŸđŸ„«đŸ„˜đŸ›đŸŁđŸ±đŸ„ŸđŸŠȘđŸ„đŸ˜đŸšđŸ™đŸ đŸ€đŸȘŒđŸŠ€đŸ™đŸ„ đŸ„źđŸąđŸĄđŸ§đŸ°đŸ§đŸ„§đŸŠđŸšđŸŽ‚đŸźđŸ­đŸŹđŸ«đŸ„œđŸŒ°đŸȘđŸżđŸŻđŸ„›â˜•ïžđŸ”đŸșđŸ¶đŸ„€đŸ§‹đŸ§ƒđŸ„‚đŸ·đŸ„ƒđŸžđŸč🧉🔋

  • Kinda getting nervous about the housemates mysterious illness, they're not chesty or sniffly all they are is lethargic and feverish. No joke looking like a sick victorian child, all pale and sweaty. They also won't eat so I've been plying them with smoothies, broth, and stewed apples but that doesn't even put the colour back in them.

    I thought they might have caught what I brought home last week, but my symptoms were way different. It's also not covid which I thought it might be because their symptoms are just so bizarre.

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