She's a keeper

wife in a healthy relationship, looking at her sweatpantsed husband: heavy breathing Oh my!
- never underestimate the desire of some women for married man. I had a friend once tell me shw only dated married man because she knew he was good enough. No need to say the friendship didn't last long
  
  This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they're already in a relationship.
  There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.
  The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.
  
  It’s like when children grab the toys of others. They don’t want to ~~play~~ ~~with~~ keep the toy, the fact of the toy being possessed is what makes the toy desirable. The grass is always married on the other side of the fence.
  Edit: choice of wordS

In a sense of understanding the wife's perspective, proximity is just as important as the other major factors that affect how likely a relationship is to begin. There was a cool study of college students who lived in an apartment style building that showed you were most likely to begin a relationship with the person who had a door immediately next to yours. The only exception to that was for the person who had a door immediately next to the mailboxes. Proximity matters because it lets another person see you enough to form opinions based on a lot of interactions, and we all know someone who 'shines' despite their physical looks.
Plot twist: new neighbor was wearing a shirt that read, "I <3 dad bods," and was already flirting (asking for help moving boxes /eyeroll) with the guy in sweatpants.
- Really sad that so many people are closed-minded about relationships with mailboxes.
  
  You wouldn't believe how many people go postal once they see my tramp stamp.
  
  Yeah, some people think there should only be relationships between mailboxes and femailboxes.
  
  "Oh, what the fuck?! There's jizz on my mail again!"
- asking for help moving boxes /eyeroll
  Just as an aside, I would do this regardless of my interest. If I’m moving and there’s someone watching, I’m going to try to enlist help. They can say no and I won’t be offended in any way, but I’ll give it a shot, because moving sucks and it’s faster with more hands. I won’t gush about how strong the movers are or anything, but I will offer them beer/pizza afterwards.
  
  I mean, come on. Being not too proud to ask for help, allowing someone else to feel useful and genuinely being appreciative of their help? That's pretty fucking hot to be honest. Maybe I'm a slut for being made to feel useful and appreciated.
- That study seems kinda backwards. I lived next to my future wife in student apartments, but that’s because we liked each other and intentionally chose the arrangement.
  
  The apartments were randomly assigned. Do you know many freshmen who got to choose their dorms? Once I was a sophomore+, I did, but that first year in university-run student housing I didn't get to pick.
- If someone has to tell their spouse not to break their martial vows, or even feels like they have to say it, that couple should go to therapy.
  
  I would bet the entirety of my yearly pay that it was absolutely, 100% a joke and they have a perfectly healthy relationship.
  
  I agree, martial vows are sacred! It's not worth the fighting.
  
  Or you know they have a healthy relationship and joke a lot.

Me: "I'll do my best but you know how hard it is to resist this." Gestures at dad bod
Wife: "Oh, I'm well aware."
Me: 😘
Wife: 😏... 🍆👉👌

Well, at least the wife thinks highly of you.

MY DUMB LUCK: does it anyway somehow
- ALSO MY DUMB LUCK: wife is into it

fat
Not a deal breaker. The dad bod is in. I suspect other dad qualities are also in. Like sweatpants and socks with sandals.
- !socks with sandals!<
  Whoa! A little warning before dropping something that hot in here!
- Do the dad qualities of already having a wife and children help? Lol
  
  Doesn't get more dad like than being a dad!
  
  If you have enough money that your dad titles gets a sweet prefix
- Youngsters wear Birkenstocks with socks in France.
  Yes and it's quite popular (age group like 16-20 I guess) possibly the summers footwear.
  I kid you not.
  
  OG sandals involved socks always. Granted fashion has changed a bit over the various millennia since the invention of sandals and socks.
- White New Balances. Irrational obsession with turning off lights ...which always left on for no apparent reason.
  
  A lot of us have lights on because we lived or live in dangerous places. I'll never be turning all the lights off.
- The dad bod is in
  Among fat chicks. Healthy women want healthy men.
  edit: up/down ratio is PERFECTLY in line with general obesity rates, as I expected, as is ALWAYS the case when I whisper any notion about how being overweight/obese isn't really a good thing
  
  Nope. Reminding you of thid absolutely golden Twitter moment
  
  The absolutely insane amount of cope the comment section starts spitting out is almost hilarious, implying that "women are lying" even.
- Oh bless your heart.
  You realize that.a young woman who is even mildly attractive can pretty well have her pick of men her own age. She dont want no tubby dude 20 years older, wearing clothes from Costco and driving around in a Subaru crosstrek.
  Once us guys hit our 40s we just disappear into the hedges like homer, just part of the background.
  
  Look, champ, I don’t even know where to start with that screed of yours; it’s like you veered across every social lane marker at once and somehow managed to cut off common decency in the process. People are out here trying to keep their traction in a world full of potholes; maybe set the cruise‑control of basic respect before you rear‑end reality, yeah?
  How dare you talk shit about the Subaru Crosstrek. We’re dealing with a 220 mm ground‑clearance, symmetrical‑AWD, snow‑eating, gravel‑spitting, apocalypse‑commuter that will outlive three of your fashion cycles and still start on a minus‑five morning without a whimper.
  It's a five‑star‑safety‑rated go‑anywhere hatchback that gulps eight‑litres‑per‑hundred on the highway while your precious status wagons guzzle twice that idling at a café; it holds its resale value like a dragon sits on gold; throw a kayak on the roof, a mountain bike in the back, and go touch grass. The Crosstrek is the Swiss Army knife of daily drivers; slagging it off is like mocking duct tape - it only proves you’ve never fixed anything in your life.
  
  Older dudes can absolutely get younger girls. However, they are mostly going to fall into 2 categories. Serious emotional/psychological issues. Or looking for a sugar daddy without as much stigma.
  If you are in great shape, have a good personality and a good job, then at 40 you can still pull girls in their 20s without to much trouble. If you let yourself go, and have nothing to show for your age then it will be a lot harder.
  The better question is why would you want to? What would you even talk to them about?
  
  I'm 40, and I am still getting plenty of play. How do you think I know dad bods are in rn? 🤷‍♂️
  
  Ironic that you complain about men disappearing in their 40s when this happens so pervasively to women it's called Invisible Woman Syndrome.
  Aging out of societal relevance is hard for everyone. Let's not pretend that this is a uniquely male thing, especially when women are pressured to conceal their aging to a far greater degree.
  
  She dont want no tubby dude 20 years older, wearing clothes from Costco and driving around in a Subaru crosstrek.
  I asked this guy for an engagement ring and he let me pick out the one I wanted!
  
  You're forgetting the part where there are women your age.
  
  I'll have you know I drive a Toyota minivan and shop at Sam's Club because we don't have a Costco. Much to my disappointment.
  
  Hey! I wear clothes from Goodwill, get it right.
  
  I'm 25 and several people have planned cross continent trips to have sex with me and you're wrong.
  
  25 year old girls don't want 25 year old guys. women also prefer married men to single men.

About 16% in men have a fat fetish compared to <1% of women. Also about 36% of women prefer a partner heavier than them. Also, 97% want a man who’s taller than them while about 2 % of women want a man smaller than them.
Of all the people currently alive, about 7% are women aged 25-35. of those 1% like fat men, of those 2% want the man to be smaller. So you have 0.0014% of any given population who is female 25-35 and likes small fat men. About half of them are single, you you have 0.0007% of any population who will find you attractive.
In a city of 400,000 people that’s 3
- So you're saying there's a chance.
  
  Go to a cheap supermarket on a Monday at 2pm and you'll see those coincidences irl
- This does assume that these are independent variables, which may not necessarily be the case.
- Where are you getting these numbers?
  
  Straight out of their butt im guessing
- Don't do this, don't give me hope
- Lemmy is finally in its incelposting phase! Not good!
- I don't get the reason for posting all these magic numbers with no source, especially since it is about preference of something that is considered a "taboo" and many will refuse to properly state them, under a completely unrelevant post. So even if there is a source for these, both if the poll is in person or online, they are very unreliable.
  Not to deny the minority that are people that highly prefer a fat person/partner, especially since I am both one and prefer one. I am not here to conquer every single person that sees me even if I was the complete opposite and be jacked, because that is simply unrealistic.
  I am myself, with my personality and a body I feel comfortable in.
  
  Me neither, it implies that dating is just basic stats. Which no, because dating preferences aren't independent variables. If you score low with a potential partner on a particular quality that doesn't mean they've rejected you, unless that quality is a deal breaker. They are variable's that are dependent to and from other variables, how are you with pets, are you pursuing a life goal you have set out for yourself, how are your relationships with others, ect.
- The existence of danny devito fucks these numbers all the way up.
  
  Exceptions only confirm this
- Also about 36% of women prefer a partner heavier than them
  Wait what? Men are naturally bigger with more muscle. Is the study implying most women prefer skinny marathon runners instead of bodybuilders?
  
  Now this I want to know!
  is a skinny marathon runner
  
  Comment OP provided zero sources. This could be an online form where people can lie and say they are the other gender to feel better about themselves. Removing the chance of lying who got questioned could have also interpreted "heavier" as "fatter", not generally "bulkier".
  Or they could be made up or have atrocious sample sizes and selection, as per usual with general polls.
- Height was not stated. Also, if she doesn't care about his marital status she probably doesn't care about her own. Also also, it is stated that she is 25. Not going to do the math, so I will assume we are up to 1%
- These magic numbers make my happy
- 3 is just too much for a lazy slob like me
- Not bad tbh.
- Got a link or anything to back up those stats about partner preferences? Sounds like some made up vcel nonsense.
- That's depressing. But that's what you get for expecting things of other humans.
- Physical attractiveness isnt the only kind. Lots of dummy guys get got chicks by being funny or kind.

We usually say to each other....don't bring home nasty STDs. Even though we both know....way to busy to fuck someone else.
- Condoms are used
  
  Yeah, I'm sure most people use oral condoms / dental dams when they're going down on casual flicks.
  
  Even condoms don't stop some STDs. Best way is to just find a clean one early. Then stick with her or him.

That's what I'd be telling my fiancee as a joke because I know she's a chubby chaser (in her own words).

My brother in Christ, you do not realize how down bad the 20-something girls with daddy issues are.
My best friend hooked an old guy without custody of his kids. They're moving in together next week.
- Hope they find happiness together!
- My best friend, now 45 once told me that i was the only guy she was ever attacked to her that is actually younger than her. I didn't really think anything about it, untill she told me that her first real boyfriend was 45 when she was 19. And her boyfriends only got older
- That is super gross.
  
  There were certain expectations as to social norms and etiquette held by buttnugget@lemmy.world.

No guarantees. I know what I'm working with here, babe.

"You never told me not to!"

Hey sweatpants can do some work. Are they grey?
Also 40s can be good-looking
And "fat" is pretty subjective; people with average bodytypes can be very successful with confidence
- Don’t forget that in places like the UK and the US, average body types are quite fat.