US Labor Department proposes more than 60 rule changes in a push to deregulate workplaces

I was gonna make up some bullshit quote of cutting red tape to allow the economy to flourish. Cause from the headline alone, it could easily exist or it would be suitably satirical.
But I read the article...

“The Department of Labor is proud to lead the way by eliminating unnecessary regulations that stifle growth and limit opportunity,” Secretary of Labor Lori Chavez-DeRemer said in a statement, which boasted the “most ambitious proposal to slash red tape of any department across the federal government.”

✅ Slash red tape.
✅ Unnecessary regulations.
✅ ✅ That stifle growth.
✅ ✅ And limit opportunity.

Covers all the points I would have satirically made.

Some of you may die, but think of the 📈 stonks