Asking for a friend

No Linux distro can be vegan because none of them can be produced without any suffering
- Pretty sure that suffering is consensual, so it's fine. It's like how vegans can drink human breast milk or eat people who want to be cannibalized.
  
  I would say that most vegans, even if they've never heard it, at least approximately follow the Vegan Society's famous definition:
  Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals.
  Striking the parts that seem irrelevant to this specific question:
  Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for [...] any [...] purpose [...]
  Keep in mind that "animals" in that first part is widely treated as "humans and non-human animals". So you would have to decide 1) to what extent cruelty was inflicted to create the distro, 2) to what extent people and non-human animals were exploited to create the distro, and 3) if there exist practicable alternatives that meaningfully reduce (1) and (2).
  
  Consensual suffering is still suffering. Usually the alternative is just… more or different suffering
- This the real answer right here.

Yes, and some fine work as been put into making it a great choice for a webserver:
https://totl.net/Spud/
- This is a vegan server, not distro.
  
  It could be a distro if enough of us download it

I aways see the “100% libre” systems being the vegan version of Linux, ie Guix or Trisquel on a canoeboot machine!

It should be obvious that it's your choice if you want to run Linux on a steak or on a lettuce.
- Usually you run it on a potato

One of those is not like the others.
Edit:

Two of those (x-fit and linux) are mostly good for the user whereas veganism is good for everyone but capitalists so, I would hope, they'd talk about being Vegan first
- As a linux user who uses linux on my linux machine (which runs linux), I agree that mentioning that one uses linux is not as important as mentioning that non-linux thing you just said
  
  Arch?

Well from a hardware perspective, pretty much every tech product is built on the back of horrifying amounts of labor exploitation.
Also in some cases components will contain gelatin, which isn't vegan.
For software? Well I sacrifice and goat and feed it to the machine before every git commit I make, so that's probably not vegan either.

Gnus and Penguins are both animals. So Linux is an animal-based product, and cannot be vegan
- Alpine is Gnu-Free. So plant based without animal.
  As per Linux+cross fit, that's Arch, no questions there
- Should be fine with Mint, surely? Cinnamon edition is a weird taste combination but still vegan
- BSD.