adhd

My logical brain vs the part of the brain that's actually in charge. I wish the logical part of the brain won more often
- Yep. Knowing what the solution is only compounds the guilt for not doing it. Let me ignore it by focusing on other things just a little bit longer.
  Side note: I'm most productive when I'm about to hit a deadline. I hate that about myself. I'm always relieved if / when it doesn't blow up in my face. Had two of those in the past two weeks. Both looked like they were gonna be disasters when I was cranking them out. In both cases. the disaster was averted. Holy shit.

Gee, buddy boy, wish I fuckin' could!
For those not in know: it's like telling someone with a broken ankle to "just walk". That's why it's important to know that ADHD should be treated like any other handicap.

If I don't have a long enough stretch of time to do it all at once, I ain't starting it.
But seriously, getting medicated has done wonders for being able to start multi-day projects. I'm learning VBA right now because I want to automate some of my processes at work. I'm finally cool with starting something I can't finish today. Generally, I want my code to do some fairly specific and complex things. So I'm happy to spend a few hours tweaking a block to make it do exactly what I want, and it feels so good when it works as expected. But before getting on meds? Nah, I wouldn't even entertain the idea because I wouldn't know where to start. Medicine helps me draw up an outline of what I want to do with my code, then achieve those tasks bit by bit.
And that's applied across everything I do. It's okay to not finish today. But it's important to start.

But there is a logic in that: shit is finite, or at least it has a finite speed of income. The more shit you do the less shit is left. If you do shit fast enough you can reach the state when you have a minimum shit at a given time. It is good.