Definitions

It specifically says for thrusting or striking. That's where the pizza cutter fails to pass as a sword. 😔
- IDK maybe they're just really bad at cutting pizza.
  
  No fucking way dude, that's slashing damage.
- You put the sharp edge on a surface and push forward to cut pizza. That IS thrusting.
  
  I thought slashing but you might be right.
- Thrusting or striking, you can definitely strike with a pizza sword so it match at least one definition.
- And the sheath
  
  How can one sheath the unsheathable

- ah yes, ignoring that it should actuality be a polygon, implying a closed shape with straight sides much like this ignores the "weapon" and "used for thrusting or striking" parts of the definition.
  not hard to make strange things fit a definition when you just ignore parts of it.
  
  something tells me neither of these are genuine attempts at properly using the definitions but rather clever subversions with deliberately obtuse interpretations in pursuit of... checks notes... humor.
  
  Relax, take a deep breath<3
  
  Let me introduce you to the Non-Euclidean surfaces to bend your concept of straight lines
  
  The idea isn't literal, it's to show that our language is entirely just noises that we've made into increasingly complicated levels of agreed-upon abstraction. We don't mine words out of the Earth, we develop them to create clear explanations that we can all agree on, and yes, the more you peel away or dig in, the more challenging it can be to create words that encompass all variations of an idea.
- This image makes me angrier than it should. Those 4 "right angle" designations are all lies. You cannot have a curved line attached to anything and call it a "right angle". It's not. Like, factually. I don't care if it's 2 feet long, or 200,000 miles, it will never be exactly 90°, which invalidates the entire thing.
  
  OK. Walk in a straight line for a couple of metres and stop. Rotate left or right by exactly 90°. Now take a curved path in any direction.
  Did you or did you not turn 90°?
  
  If it’s not a right angle, then what is it? Wouldn’t you just measure the angle between the tangent of the curve and the line? Working with the tangents is how you find the angle between two curves as far as I know. You say it will never be exactly 90 degrees, but it would be 90 degrees at exactly that point. That’s not a weird thing to say from a math perspective.
  I think a bigger issue with this figure is that they’re using some internal and external angles for their count of 90 degree angles. (And that this is just a ridiculous twist on a square, lol.)
- This is not a parallelogram and is therefore not a square

A weapon ❌
Used for thrusting and striking ❌
- Long metal blade ❌
- Tell that to pro wrestler, Nick Gage!
- I see you've never been penetrated by a pizza slicer

https://swordscomic.com/comic/CDXCV/

- I was going to ask which squenix protag this was, but your alt text answered that for me.
  Why do they all have a certain look to them?
  
  If it rains, their socks are pure funnels to get water into the boots

If Leonardo can use katanas to slice pizza, then I can use this (while pretending to be a turtle)
- Can you pretend to know where pizza slices come from?
  
  ? I don't get get it

A sword by definition has a "pointed blade" accordingly any object with an infinitely long blade cannot be a sword. Rather, it's a blade ray.
- it does have a point. look at the blade from the side.
  pointy bit goes into the pizza.
  
  Instructions unclear, pizza cutter stuck in pants and now I am circumferenced
- I was going to define this as an axe
- Swords without a sharpened point had existed. You could only use them for cutting, not thrusting.

Well it's not infinitely long. It's pi D's long. With D being.. well, let's just say my "peanits"

Im not sure what defines a strike but im pretty sure you wouldnt thrust a pizza cutter. If we're being technical, it doesnt meet the whole definition.
- I have used it this way to cut through some really crusty pizza.
  strikes are possible.

I heard a comedian call these "infinity knives" a few years back, and now it's all I can call them.

No that's a pretty finite length, even if you have to measure the atoms to do it.
- It’s also not length but circumference.
- You don't need to leave the kitchen, just need a pi

That blade is not infinitely long unless you measure the same part over and over again.
- Fr, what happened to 2πr?

Diogenes ahh post.

I would totally forge a sword in Skyrim with the shortest blade possible (a nub) and name it “Pizza Cutter.”
- And then cook it with Dragon Breath. This is the most peaceful resolution for Skyrim. And I still feel bad about all those plates I stole.

walking around in Dark Souls 4
Find a giant pizza cutter
- I don't know if this is a joke or not. Elden Ring has Ghiza's Wheel as a weapon and is low-key considered "Dark Souls 4" by many fans.
  
  Its AoW spinning wheel is so trash, I wish it were better so a pizzaiolo build with Ghiza‘s wheel and spinning discus incantations was viable

Diogenes has entered the chat

That's not infinitely long, it's infinitesimally long.

Why not? Honestly i kind of sick with fantasy only using double edged European longsword and Japanese katana.
Give something weirder dammit, like Chinese hook sword and indian katar.
- can't even find a decent keris in anything smdh

I have used a pizza cutter to cut more than one pizza. I have also wielded a sword, (Ren Fair and fought a dual), and cut pizza with it. I have also field dressed a couple of deer and cut a few pizzas, (along with apples and sandwiches) with a Victorinox Classic keychain pocket knife over the years.
Of the 3 pieces of cutlery, I find the Victorinox Classic to be the most useful.

Yo. New Diogenes just dropped.

Best weapon in Lies of P.

Have you guys ever received a pizza cut into 9 slices? I have, and I just want to know why, and more importantly how.
- I asked the pizza place to divide the pizza into 0 equal slices and about 20 minutes later there was a loud explosion from downtown. Never did get that pizza.
  
  Rest in piece

A kid in the show Happy Face tries to bring one to school as a weapon. The parents talk about it after he leaves and think it's funny he considered that to be a weapon.

"Now stand still whilst I make mincemeat out of you"

the pizza cutters i have experienced in my pizza career often fail to cut through the pizza
- I use teeth