4d ago

how do I stop being a sucker for alcoholic stuff on sale?

I don't know if I'm a low key alcoholic or so cheap because in my past I was homeless and dependent on the charity of (sometimes) strangers and feel I only "deserve" alcohol when it's on sale.

I know binge drinking is stupid, I know if I drink more than a pint of beer without food my stomach feels bad and I feel dizzy, but each time I find beer on sale I buy at least a 6 pack (6 pints). I then promise myself to drink it within several days, not all within 3 days, but something snaps in me each time I open the fridge and see all that beer. I sometimes drink 2 pints a day till I have no more beer.

The only thing stopping me from buying beer every day is the price: if beer is not on sale, I don't buy it.

Beer is the only alcoholic drink I buy, I cannot tolerate anything else.

There are much healthier alternatives there, like tea, milk or juicy fruits, but my brain still associates beer with a good time, which is very ironic, because now, after drinking almost a pint, I have a headache. It doesn't even taste as good as I thought it would.

Another thing that stops me from drinking more is reading about other alcoholics, their regrets and health issues, but my brain still "wants" the beer.

To be even more ironic, I usually run 2 miles and do some stretching and yoga before going to work, but yesterday and today I was so tired I skipped this routine and started drinking.

Am I a high functioning alcoholic?

How do I stop being so fixated on alcohol on sale?

20 comments

Based on stated consumption levels, you are probably not an alcoholic. However, your thought process indicates that you may be at risk.
- Drinking every day is what they call a social alcoholic. People drink so much now they made a new definition of it.

For me it's easier to resist temptation in the store rather than when it's in the house. At that point you already bought it, it's right there so you're gonna eat/drink it at some point right? Might as well be now.. It'll take effort to break the habit, but think twice about before buying stuff. The sale might give you FOMO but remember that if it has a negative impact on your life then it has negative value, they should be paying you to get rid of that trash. And be proud of yourself successfully resisting temptations.
- The reason I don't buy booze and limit snack buying... if it's in my house it is going to be consumed quickly.
  It's like a challenge, it's there, it will be consumed.

Everyone has a different opinion on what makes you an "alcoholic". I stick with a forgiving scale of: If everything you do revolves around whether or not you can get a drink, you're an alcoholic.
I was drinking a lot a few years back. Much more than two beers a day. By my definition above, I wasn't an alcoholic, but I know others would say otherwise, just based on quantity and not necessity. I was getting drunk for something to do, but if plans came up, I was never conflicted with "should I do this, or get drunk instead?"
I've met high (and low) functioning alcoholics, and there's a big difference between an addict and someone who drinks frequently. If you don't feel comfortable with the amount you are drinking, then I recommend changing your habits. But if you're concerned with what other people might think about your drinking, those are only opinions, and they will vary.

The behavior you're describing does not sound like addiction. People with an addiction to a drug feel compelled to use the drug and become distressed if the drug is unavailable.
This is also not binge drinking by any commonly-used definition. Two pints of beer a day is generally considered moderate drinking, and you're not doing it every day, only when beer is on sale. Research does seem to be converging on drinking alcohol at all being bad for your health, however the effect size for occasional moderate drinking is small enough that it has been difficult to measure.
What you are describing is impulsive behavior. When you see beer on sale, you can't resist taking advantage of the offer. When you have beer, you drink it faster than you meant to. If you think about other areas of your life, can you find more examples where you struggle with impulse control?

I'm in no way qualified to judge whether this classifies as being an alcoholic. But I think you certainly have an unhealthy relationship to alcohol or at least beer. It's not really "normal" (sorry, I don't know how to phrase it better) to think so much about a beverage.
The same goes for food, actually. And at least there it doesn't automatically equal excessive consumption, sometimes it's the opposite, either anorexia or even focusing on a healthy diet. The point is that the healthy default state is to not obsess about it too much.
Out of curiosity, have you tried alcohol-free beer? There are really good ones out there and maybe trying some could help you determine whether it's actually the alcohol or more the "beer equals good time" aspect that drives you.
- I can second the alcohol free beers. The modern ones have excellent taste and hit the refreshing hoppy spot for me and are much better than juice or sodas when it comes to calories. I'm not totally dry, I drink 2-3 units a week, but I'm certainly feeling better for not having alcohol every day.

Try putting the 6 pack in the cellar or attic and only one in the fridge. That way you only see the one. After having drank that one it will annoy you to climb stairs to get another room temperature one so you won't.
You might also consider seeking professional help. You aren't an alcoholic, but you will be if you keep this up. Alcohol is a terrible drug and one of the worst possible addictions to have. It's like heroin, but worse because unlike heroin it's available everywhere all the time, so staying sober is so much harder.
In my country there is a supermarket chain that doesn't sell alcohol at all (nor cigarettes). If you have something like that then maybe go shopping there to reduce the temptation.

as a former alcoholic would help me was considering the actual value of money and what it can do for you versus The cheap thrills of whatever drug of choice you may be looking at

Maybe change it up a bit? Decide that when you drink, you will only drink premium beer. Refuse to buy anything but expensive beer that is not on sale. After buying a few of those, your desire to save money will begin to heavily influence your desire to buy it at all. This has the added benefit of making all of the cheap beers seem sub-standard and not worthy of purchase.

I am sorry to say that this part of your relationship with alcohol is a massive warning sign:
I then promise myself to drink it within several days, not all within 3 days, but something snaps in me each time I open the fridge and see all that beer. I sometimes drink 2 pints a day till I have no more beer.
This indicates that you do not have a healthy psychological relationship with a substance.
By promising yourself one thing and doing another, you have lied to yourself. Self-deception is extremely self-destructive. It is effectively the first and last lesson every alcoholic learns - substance abuse is never about willpower, it's about honesty. No amount of willpower can save you when you lie to yourself and say "it will be okay."
The influence of the substance in question reinforces that self-deception at every turn. Based on your description, when you are drinking, it feels okay to keep drinking. Even with a headache, or fatigue, you will have another drink. You will drink the next day. You will drink until you run out of drinks to drink.
When you are not drinking, it doesn't feel okay. You know it's stupid, you know it hurts you, you know you don't really want it, and yet you think that there is no real internal force stopping you from drinking - there is only the externalized influence of the price.
By creating an external justification for your drinking, you have abandoned your own autonomy and authority to alcohol. It is cheap, you drink. It is not cheap, you do not drink. It is in your fridge, you drink. It is not in your fridge, you do not drink. You do not choose, you just drink. With that behavioral pattern, it is only ever a matter of time until your next binge.
Generally speaking, the most reliable way out of this thought process is to seek help. Be honest with yourself and others (where it is safe and sensible to do so!), and seek support. You have done so here - you have opened up about your fears. That is strength, not weakness.
Groups like AA do not check your alcoholic level at the door. You do not need to drink a liter of vodka a day to be an alcoholic. If you are presently sober and say you are worried about your relationship with alcohol, they will welcome you. They will share their stories, and they will share what works for them and what doesn't. Many groups are also welcome to families and friends, so you do not need to present yourself as an alcoholic if you do not wish to do so.
If you walk away from those meetings, drink more, and come back (again, while sober), they will welcome you again. They will welcome you as many times as is needed, and they will welcome you whether you are 24 hours sober or 24 years sober.
But it all starts and ends with honesty. You are worried about your behavior. Do not let yourself brush that aside. Do not believe yourself when you think "it's not that bad." Do not believe yourself when you think "these people are 'real' alcoholics, I don't belong here, I don't need help."
Every last recovering alcoholic you ever meet would have rather they stopped earlier then they did. They would rather they stopped when it wasn't a big deal. They would rather they hadn't thrown so much of their time, money, and health into that bottomless pit.
There is no rock bottom, there is no moment where you can no longer dig the hole deeper. There is only the moment you start climbing out of it.
I cannot tell you that you are an alcoholic. I can only tell you that you feel anxious and worried about being an alcoholic, and that you should face those feelings with as much strength and honesty as you can muster. Best of luck. I am happy to listen, if you want to talk more.
- The only thing I want to add is that AA is not the only option, nor even the most effective one. But it is the one with the lowest barrier to entry - you just look up where a meeting is, and you show up. No charge or anything.
  However, if AA doesn't help (and there are plenty of people where it doesn't), there are a bunch of other options. Some are very casual group support events (but with a licensed counselor), all the way to in-patient clinics, and everything in between.

It sounds like you definitely have a drinking problem and an unhealthy relationship to alcohol.
Take a month off. Not as a punishment or anything, just as a "hey beer and I need some time apart." Maybe get some NA beer if you're craving the flavor.
Drinking problems are a warning sign. If you change your behavior and mindset you probably will find yourself with a healthy relationship with alcohol. If you don't you may find yourself in a place you have to part ways with it for good

You are not an alcoholic. You are on your way to being one. Be careful it’s a depressing ride. My industry is filled with drunks at various levels of alcoholism, none are doing good except the recovered ones. I’ve watched a couple drink themselves to death leaving las vegas style. Consider not drinking or only drinking with friends.

I think solutions to this is of a very individual nature - it's hard to imagine a universal solution.
But it seems your addiction might be to beer more than to alcohol itself, for now at least. And (some) alcohol free beer has gotten really good.
So my suggestion is this: Next time beer is on sale, instead of buying a six pack match the value in buying alcohol free beer. When you're back home you can still pop a cold one, it still feels like a nice reward, and you don't feel bad after. And you don't run the risk of developing an addiction to alcohol.
I never had a drinking problem, but I try to always keep alcohol free beer in the fridge these days just because I think it's a nice treat after a day of work or whenever.

I don't like how much I can relate to your post if you switch beer with Coca-Cola.. Fuck me
- Consumerism is habit forming in of itself
  Add some habit forming produt and that's a wrap

For myself alcohol was a lesser and secondary addiction. Addiction is a pattern of a familiars means to regulate your nervous system (mind set).
You have a part of yourself that hold some kind of pain or anxiety. Alcohol certainly helps calm that part.
How to kick it? You can regulate with other skills. You can address the underlying pain.
I found sitting in on AA meetings was amazing. Honestly. Go to a meeting g and you'll meet awesome people who are truly honest about their shortcomings.

There are more detailed answers here and I don't have any personal experience to add but just based on your question I would suggest you stop drinking entirely.
It doesn't sound like you have a good relationship with alcohol. It isn't something you share with friends or a "hobby" like wine or whiskey tasting. It sounds like something you just do kind of as a habit.
You aren't an alcoholic... yet. If you could afford beer when it wasn't on sale would you drink a lot more? If you had free access to infinite beer how much would you drink? It kind of sounds like the answer to those questions might be "A lot" which is bad.
It sounds like alcohol is already having a negative impact on your life. Do you agree with that statement generally? Skipping positive healthy things for a beer is pretty objectively bad.
Honestly just stop now while you can. Just stop buying beer. Even on sale it's a waste of money. Nothing against you but this does read like a post someone would look back on and say "I was right and I should have stopped while I could."
You have the freedom to do whatever you want but if you're asking random internet strangers if you have a drinking problem the answer is almost certainly yes. Not a big problem but why take the chance? Alcohol just isn't that great.

20 comments