update
I didnt get hospitalized, though I saw my psychiatrist. She reccomended a therapy catered to my needs as a neurodivergent person (probably with the same who diagnosed me, hopefully). I cant say im happy but a little relieved by not having to be hospitalized
That's good news. Being hospitalized has it's own stresses as well. Hopefully the new therapy will be helpful.
Good for you! Don't let stigma keep you from checking yourself in if things get too bleak. It could save your life. But if you have a plan of care that both you and your caregiver agree sounds workable, it's great that you can avoid interrupting your life.
I have attempted suicide once and thought about it for a lot of my life. I'm proof that it's possible to turn things around. I believe in you. Good luck!