Winning

Oh man a couple months ago I had to back off a topic because my therapist was obviously about to cry and just barely holding it together... I'm trans and was talking about my worries with how the US is going. They have trans kids and I think my concerns were hitting close to home for them. It was a difficult session for everyone x.x
- Did you recommend going to therapy to your therapist?
  
  In some countries it's actually required for therapists to periodically see a therapist. To avoid getting retraumatized by their patients trauma and such
  
  Just ask her how she feels, then charge her $200

I'm stuck at the tutorial boss ("how does that make you feel?")
- “And where do you feel that in your body?”
  
  To this day I don't understand this. My therapist used to ask this so many times and every time I was like:?? In my brain???? Where thoughts and feelings live???????
  Can someone explain?
  Edit: the fact that you nice people here were able to make me understand this question and my therapist did not reinforces why I stopped going!
  
  "Show me on this doll..."
- unironically sat 2 hours in pure silence because there were no other inputs from both sides. so i rather just sit the silence out in isolation
  
  I did this too! Started out as a "test" or temper tantrum, but afterwards it felt so safe he didn't start talking, that it really was a space where I was in control.
  Stupid clever therapist.

So if you lose therapy .... you're going to need therapy for that
- I think if you lose therapy, The witnesses will need therapy.

I've been told by my therapist I have the worst case she has ever seen. Yes I'm winning it ;)
- My therapist called me the most cynical 24 year old she'd ever seen. I'm 37 now.
- I made my therapist lose her shits, because I sat in her chair once.
  The arrangement was a small table and two identical chairs on either side, with no indication who has to sit where, other than how we'd usually do it and no clear instructions.
  She couldn't handle it and couldn't let it go weeks after that session.
  Am I winning?
  
  Username chacks out. You gave her an aunerism.
  Edit: on a serious note that's crazy. Like she should have fixed her issues
- What category speed run are you going for? Worst case% in hygienic rigor

Does therapy actually help you if you know what your problem is? Also knowing that they're talking to you because it's their job feels like the whole thing is a lie and a waste of time.
- Does therapy actually help you if you know what your problem is?
  Yes, then you're already steps ahead. For some people, figuring out what the problem is, already takes therapy, but it doesn't end there. If you know, what the problem is and know how to fix it, you probably don't need therapy. But if you know what's wrong but can't fix it alone, that's what therapy is for.
  Also knowing that they're talking to you because it's their job feels like the whole thing is a lie and a waste of time.
  Only if you somehow follow the idea, that the therapist has to like you. That is not the case. It is their job and that's okay. You're also just talking to them because it's their job. Why would you open up to a stranger otherwise?
  I mean you should get along together somehow, but you don't have to be friends with your therapist.
  
  Also one might be aware of the problem but not actually understand the underlying causes.
  One can be a bloody genious and still be unable to self-rationalize one's way out of certain negative behaviours because they're driven by things at an emotional level (fear, pleasure, habit, need for approval, low self-esteem and so on), because they became entrenched as behavioural patterns when one was too young to understand any of it (as a child or teenager - it's not by chance that a lot of Psychology "blames" one's parents) and because without the distancing that comes from looking at it from the outside with no interest in seeing certain things rather than others (it's generally emotionally unpleasent to notice and admit that certain elements of one's personality are negative) it's extremelly hard to spot certain things which for an observant trained independent outsider are very obvious.
  Also I totally agree that one shouldn't be going into it wanting the therapist to like you: people who worry about the impression they make on the therapist are likely not being fully open and honest about themselves to him or her, which kinda defeats the point of going to theraphy (if one was 100% perfect and all qualities, why go to theraphy).
- That's just self sabotage talking. Knowing about a problem is step one and it's what gets you in the door.
  Just because you know you've got a broken pipe doesn't mean you don't need a plumber, just because you know your car is broken doesn't mean you don't need a mechanic, etc. There's nothing wrong with someone helping you being a job. That doesn't mean they won't do that job.
  The main point of therapy is to get you to look at your circumstances in different ways and provide you with coping skills you may not necessarily have developed. You may even be unaware of whatever current maladaptive coping mechanisms you've built up over years of just trying to survive. This is where outside professional perspective comes in handy.
  However! That's not to say therapy is a bulletproof process or that all therapists are good or that every therapist is a good fit for every person. I would liken it to finding your preferred barber or massage therapist or something. Sometimes you just got to try options till something works.
- Emotional problems often require solutions that work on the emotion level. In my experience, trying to self it yourself sets you up to try to solve it with rationality. But that often does not work, because the problem is not rational in nature.
  This is where a therapist helps. It helps you to solve the problem at the emotional level. That is something a person cannot do by themselves. Asking for help is way easier than trying to do it all yourself.
  I personally benefit a lot from https://healthygamer.gg/ as a stopgap measure. I still needed actual therapy, but this helped me through the rough times.
- You've no clue what therapy can do !!
- Yes. I knew (or at least thought I knew) what my problems were but needed help with figuring out what to do about them. Finally started seeing someone to help me with that and they did.
  About it feeling fake: It's their job to help, but I did feel the same at first and told them so. That helped them understand me better.
- Yes it actually helps to talk about it and get some outside views onto the topic. Even if you know your issues and possible solutions just talking about it makes one 'more aware' of it.
  Think of it similar when studying for a math exam. Looking at a solution and saying to yourself "ahh yes, I know that and that's how I would also do it" is different from just trying it yourself.
  And yes it's the other person's job but they also want to help, that's why they chose this career. In Germany there are also a few sessions in the beginning just to check if the patient and therapist are 'compatible', because if the patient doesn't feel safe then it doesn't help as much.
- Depending on the problem or rather on your model of the psyche. If you are following a depth analytical approach then you need therapy to reenact your problematic relationships or traumatic events in a healing relationship with another person to integrate them into your conscious self even if you already are fully aware of them.
- Most of my clients know why they are coming, it’s childhood (or other) trauma. That doesn’t mean they don’t get to have new insights on the topic. Also, while we talk, that’s not my main modality. We do EMDR and similar therapies that actually help people process the trauma. I’ve seen it change lives.

lol I have absolutely had sessions like that with my old therapist after explaining why I’m so panicky sometimes, because I understand at a nuanced and historically informed level what’s happening at a political and geopolitical level here, and all of my bleakest predictions keep coming true
- It would be really helpful for the depression if I could stop being proven terribly correct every single time anything happens.
  
  Right?!?!?
  I am so, so deeply sick of telling so many people “I fucking told you so”. My dad is among the most frustrating of these.
- I know what you mean. I largely predicted what is happening now back in 2015, and in this case it was my husband, not my therapist, who told me he believes “the system of checks and balances won’t allow it to happen.” He is an optimist and wanted to believe the US was still a good country. He now agrees with me and gets sad and angry any time something new and horrible happens.
  
  Same, and around the same timeframe.
  I never thought that being a history and current events enthusiast would become such a curse. This is some monkey’s paw bullshit :(

One of big hurdles with therapy is finding a therapist that won't gaslight me with capitalist propaganda when I express political or career angst. Being well adjusted to an insane system is not the goal I'm looking for.
- This really depends on where you are located and what degree/license the therapist has.
  For example, I’m a licensed clinical social worker in the Denver metro area. I got a ton of education on the issues of power, oppression, and privilege in grad school. All my colleagues are aware of those issues and would fully support you in your view.
  But go South, and it becomes harder to find a therapist who is aware and won’t push god and religion on you.
  In general, if you want more anti-capitalist therapists, lean towards social workers and check out the https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/ directory.
- In terms of therapy, what are you looking for?