The ADHD Iceberg

Oh man, the item loss do be relentless.
If you wanna make sure you never see something ever again just let me hold it for a minute
- No, give it to me, I'll put it somewhere safe. You'll never see it again, but it'll be safe.
  Just like the screws I need to reassemble my weed whacker.
  
  sometimes i think to myself "where would i put the thing if i had it right now" and sometimes it's in one of the 3 spots i think of, those days are nice
  
  When disassembling something, always tape the loose screws onto it using marking tape or transparent packing tape (whichever doesn't break the item's surface.)
  This way I never misplaced screws.
- It took me like 25 years to learn to not set shit on top of a ladder. If I carried something up a ladder with me, it comes down with me. I've lost count of how many times I've thought "I'll totally remember this hammer up here (this time)" only to climb down, immediately try to move the ladder, and get clobbered in the face by the falling hammer that I forgot about the second it left my field of vision.
- If it's not within my field of view, it might as well no longer exist. Especially if I need that item.

Adhd is not being able to read all that
- Jokes on you, my doctor prescribed me 15mg of Dexamphetamine and now I can like a real normal attention span having person
  
  Forgot a word in there buddy. Time to bump the dose. /s

Don't forget having a fat ass and being right all the time /s

Trouble recalling commonly used words is a big one for me. Also I use other words as placeholder who are adjacent in my head, like dishwasher and washing machine. Followed by frustration that people don't have the same association and immediately understand what I mean
- "Thingy," "that thing," "thingamabob," and "whatchacallit" are all valid ways that myself, my friends, and my family refer to items. Sometimes there's an adjective or relative descriptor used to clarify, like "that spiky thing," or "the blue thingy next to the TV."
  Do you also sometimes go through the alphabet when trying to find a word? Usually if I can figure out what sound/letter starts the word I'm looking for, I can find the rest of it.
  
  I don’t define myself as ADHD but I’ve been doing that for years. It doesn’t always work but I it primes by brain to be aware of all the letters. Good for wordle, trivia, etc.
  
  Usually I remember the inflection and number of syllables of the word I want, just not the actual sounds.

I’m not reading all that!

but also hypersexuality makes us gods in bed.
- is that what it is, the ADHD!? everyone I've slept with acts like I'm some kinda sex maverick and I'm just like "idk wtf I'm doing uhhhhh glad y'all into it"
- I think thats more individual, im completely Asexual :3

There's already one comorbidity mentioned here, depression, but obviously there's room for more like autism. If I had the skills I might've made a "slaps roof on car" meme version here, so you'll just have to use your imagination. (Tough sell for someone with aphantasia).

Yeah, all....gestures vaguely....that.
- You just gestured to all of me!

Looking at this like "Bingo card!"

the forgetting words and particularly names parts sometimes scares the hell out of me. i'm not that old but i'm like "is this early onset dementia"

Don't forget ODD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
- Rooted in trauma..... I feel we are heavily influenced by our environment and when our environment becomes toxic, we become toxic. As much as we try to maintain our own individuality, the world around us becomes a weight. I feel the era we live in is a world of mass surveillance and the loss of autonomy. I think that the rising developments of big tech and its influence on our lives mixed with the ever-increasing school shootings should tell us that our children are a perfect indicator that our society is becoming ever increasingly more antisocial. It's a slow global fascist coup Increasing exponentially.. who are now hammering the last nail in the neoliberal coffin as the Western world prepares for global techno fascism. They've done studies on these mass shooters and some of them have not had any prior mental health issues documented. Also, the people around them, some didn't suspect a thing. Basically what I'm saying is psychologists are saying that they don't have mental health issues. And I question if all these mental health tags are just handicaps to survive the techno-capitalist-fascist world that's ahead of us. I also believe two things can be right at the same time. That is all.

The inability to focus mixed with the forgetfulness is my Achilles heel.
Like, I'll put the butter in the microwave for TEN SECONDS to softe it, then forget I've done so until it beeps and now my butter is a puddle. Ten fucking seconds.

I feel terrible for my kid. It's really rough to every day see jokes about how doomed he is.
- I'd like to note that users here are adults, a lot of whom didn't get ADHD support as children. Some of us weren't diagnosed until adulthood. Others of us were diagnosed, but had parents who "don't believe in" insert-scientific-fact-here. Many of us are behind in life now due to a lack of support during crucial years. These memes aren't an end-all, be-all of ADHD, but a way for all of us to find humor in our predicaments.
  As someone who had parents in denial, I hope it brings you comfort to know that acknowledging and supporting your child is giving him a huge leg-up compared to many of us here. You won't mislabel your kid as "lazy" and burden him with poor self-esteem about it, the way many of us were treated. Add in the benefits of tech, like having programmable timers, alarms, and reminders, and your kid already has tons more support than many of us did growing up.
  You're doing good, Mom/Dad/Parent. You're providing your kid with the what he needs to do better than the generation before him. That is progress, and that is awesome.
  
  Thanks, that's what we're working toward. I appreciate the encouragement though. We hold him to a high standard, but we also support him in every way we can. He still struggles, but he willingly reads more than most adults I know. It kills me to think of anyone as bright and kind as him not getting the support they need. It's still a daily struggle, but he has more good moments than bad and ADHDers I know recall being "essentially feral" at his age.
  
  I was in the "I masked hard until I lost the structure going into uni" camp, and even then I didn't actually get a diagnosis until 31. It's super familial and looking back, my dad 100% has ADHD and kinda suspect my mom has ADHD too, it's not that they were in denial they just didn't see anything as atypical, no teacher ever flagged me either, again, hindsight, I was overly talkative to the point of distraction and absolutely had emotional disregulation.
  My parents did their best and were supportive of me, it sucks I was late diagnosed but was not due to them at all.
- Just because you see all the jokes don't assume he's doomed. If he's still a kid he has even more time to learn to manage his adhd better.
  Be patient with him and help him figure out how to deal with stuff in a way that works for him. And help him learn how to handle emotions.
  Plenty of people with adhd can still live good lives, even if they can struggle with some stuff.
  
  ADHD often also comes with the ability to seek and find solutions. It's just that someone else usually must execute these solutions. Many very productive people throughout history likely had/have ADHD.
  
  I know that intellectually. It's just rough.
- With proper guidance, treatment and development, it can be turned in to a super power.
  
  Be careful with that phrase. Being glad for aspects of one's disability seems to trigger some folks, and the response can be hit or miss. Some days, you mention a thing you're glad that your ADHD gives you, and people dog-pile you for daring to find a silver lining in your own life.
  I get where they're coming from, since there are a lot of folks out there that don't understand what ADHD is. But they forget that there's a world of difference between someone without ADHD dismissing struggles by claiming someone has "superpowers," and someone with ADHD who chooses to celebrate their unique strengths.
  Sorry, tangent. I'm just trying to look out for you because I've seen the Lemmy community jump on people for less.
- I was a "hyperactive" kid, I am not sure if I even have ADHD. It sure feels like I do or at least did have more severe symptoms when I was a kid. I kind of turned out ok. I can live a healthy, full life, married. My parents barely have any idea of how and why I was a negligent, immature kid who couldn't get better grades or make friends despite doing everything in my power.
  Looking back, the support I would have needed is just patience, understanding, reassurance and acceptance. If there are proven methots that work with learning difficulties, then that! To this day learning more than surface level information is pure pain. Teach him how to learn in my opinion.
  On the other hand, I am great at seeing the "big picture" and can derive information off of it to solve most of my problems on the go. It's not a lost cause, it's just different. Having to fit in society's narrow minded "just because I said so" standards is what made me feel and act worse when I think of it.

Now I'm tweaking on why most of the items are in the ocean and not in the iceberg.

A lot of these just seem like specific, downstream effects of a handful of the symptoms. It doesn't seem like a "hidden" aspect of having ADHD.

Never heard of rejective sensitive dysphoria

Doesn't everyone have many of those things?
- Yes, that's how syndromes work. Having one or two of these things is expected. Having half of them isn't.
  
  To further this point, having half of these things can also be a thing for non adhd people... But, like most neurological diversities, it's how often they occur and how much they impact your life that makes the difference.
  Everyone forgets their wallet/keys/phone/glasses from time to time... When you forget multiple times a week forever? It's different
- Take your medicine
- Most people have attention spans with limits.

And if you only have some of those?
- if you don't relate with most of the memes in this community then you might not have ADHD

Seems like the byproduct of a financial system in decay. Sounds like we live a mathmatical exponential function that feeds on the blood of the innocent, that corrupts all as it spits in the face of the natural hierarchy. Sound like repression, anxiety, alienation and depression. Sounds like predatory medical conformity of a institution that was once looked a as virtued. The beatings will continue until the moral improves...SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT NOW TAKE YOUR MEDICINE

Been diagnosed with ADHD, but I just know I'm lazy. You do too.
- If you've been diagnosed but think you're lazy you're certainly not treating your illness.
- I wish I could just be lazy.

I still feel like this is everyone and not really ADHD. I'm willing to bet a large percentage of people have most of these symptoms. If everyone has it, then no one does..
And before anyone says I'm dismissing it, I'm not, I'm just saying it's kind of like anxiety. Literally everyone in the world who has lived and will ever live has anxiety probably everyday. Are there varying degrees, of course.
- "If it doesn't effect me negatively it doesn't exist!" - You
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