If your username would predict the way you die, how will it happen?

I don't think I wanna know

Ceasefire Violation?

He died doing what he loved!

Starving, because I couldn't remember where I hid my nuts.

It finally caught up to me

The fucking Russians, of course.

Oh god

Morti means "of death" in Latin. I guess I'm going to die of death...

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

I'm not sure I want to know...

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

Tree

You wouldn't understand

It's fairly self explanatory

Oh, no…

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

I'm going to go down with my ship, bellowing orders to my crew until the last.

Raptured by the One True Dog

lol idk

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

Furiously stroking my willy.

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

Sleeping with the fishes

Happily.

Lots of beans

I guess I'm not growing old

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

🤨

Something the Scooby gang could have prevented.

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

With a bang

Derogatory slur

Uhhhh.

By Japanese sword thrust

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

First I am. And then...

I'm not.

Boiled alive

I'm already gone...

Whelp...

I dont want to think about it

Self Explanatory actually.

Idk, i wouldn't see it coming

I’ll never know. I blinked.

A remake of Alien but with a meerkat

Bludgeoned to death with a keyboard?

Painfully, I'd assume

Tree fall maybe?

Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*

Too many pineapples

Well... I can tell you who didn't do it.

Jaywalking.

Error caused by an invalid pointer

Bridge collapse

Drive errors would pile up on critical systems because they didn't filesystem check themselves before they filesystem wrecked themselves

exit 0

Yes, please. 52 years old, and dying after one super night.

My flame will be extinguished.

Meh…

Nihilistic fruit

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

Ouch...

hmmm...

I choke to death while alone, try to self heimlich and fail. My body is found half eaten by my cats with my cold, dead hand still clutching the offending cheese toastie.

Mine unlocks the cheat codes from Jedi knight 2. So probably dismembered by jedi or sith spawns

Alcoholism.

Thor dropping a mountain on my head.

I probably say something
And it gets me in trouble

Edit:
Hahaha I actually forgot my username and thought I was using one that I use elsewhere, but this still applies exactly the same 🤣😭

Dunno

Chuckles... I'm in trouble

In an accident.

Well, I'd guess I'd go out the way I'd always knew I would; mauled while getting blown by a bear 🤤

Burned at the stake, hanged, crushed, or drowned. Plenty of options.

Asphyxiation

It will be a hell of a party!

Not sure how I die, but I guess I’m coming back to life after …

My character makes a sandwich. I reach for the peanut butter...

Having a heart attack at an AC/DC concert.

Gluttony

I am very satisfied with this outcome

Very painfully

Death by snu snu? Not really how I wanted to go -- unless it kills both of us.

Chopped into several large pieces. But it will be awesome.

A very large child does something in such a way that I would die.

Too much taco bell

Sounds unpleasant.

I don't think its widely used anymore

In a squeezer

Too many to count.

In some sketchy den with a khajiit

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas...

I think I'm probably going to die in a gutter somewhere

High stakes dance off. I never stood a chance against the wiley crustacean

Strangled by my hoodie?

SUPPLIES!

Or being thrown out of a second story window during karate lessons.

Some catty wampas, likely.

....that last step will be a doozy.

Oh this is an easy one

Death by simulation crashing.

Or if going by the actual username and not the display name: Death By Air Conditioner Crashing On My Head Beacause I'm Too Indecisive To Choose Anything

Well I'm named for a fictional character I wrote about. so presumably she comes to life and for some reason tries to kill me

I've seen Monty Python before.

Like mathematician August Ferdinand Möbius, at 77, in Leipzig?

I dont't know lulz

Just broke.

By a spear, then repawn after 3 days

In front of my PC without anyone noticing until days later

Mauled, eaten or crushed to death

... or cuteness overload

Oh, no, Timmy fell down the well again!

Cat.

It wouldn't.

quickly

A daring suicide rescue mission where I manually hold the button on some space nuke to save the day.

An undercover Corgi mission.

I just hope I'm on the receiving end.

A Japanese Math Rock band murders me

I am just going outside and may be some time...

A stylish infinite combo from Meikyousisui MvC2 Vol. 10 that only works on me.

Flayed alive, I guess. Could be worse.

oh noo im gonna die because i use arch

Mind control cereal

Impressively.

Obesity, and bounciness.

No idea

Can't say that I know, but I shall be avenged.

Someone finally writes my name in that death note.

Well shit.

I'm not sure of the details but hazmat will be involved and it'll probably make the news.

Struck by railgun fire.

In the dark.

Death by human error... sounds about right.

No idea

In the middle of the night with nary a sound to be heard.

At least I'll get to meet Bigfoot before he kills me.

ah hell, I’m getting shot by a drunk hillbilly aren’t I?

Some kind of ancient forest spirit emerges from the woods, consumes my soul and leaves my body in a coma before fading back into the trees without a trace.

I’ll donate so much to research I won’t have money to eat?

Depending on what your lemmy app/UI displays, executed either by Paul or Stilgar. One would be brought back though.

Brake failure on a mountain road.

Died in a rocket accident and quickloads didn't work

Guess I'm a very tasty bug.

Decomposing at old age in some field snd then a tree grows out of me

Very quickly but likely quite painful

I get bit by a werewolf and sentenced for execution due to being a danger to society. For some reason they choose death by drowning and it turns out I cannot drown because I am a vampire. I then actually do not die because I am an undead.

Locked in a dumpster in Mexico, I guess

Mine is pretty obvious.

i guess the deal goes wrong and i dont make it