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Yes in 2 ways:
- Gradually through the years, so slowly they don't even notice it
- If they internally decide they have to do it, for some motivation of their own
What will never ever happen is that people change if others demand it from them. If you hear someone saying "I promise I will change" - no they won't.
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I disagree with your last statement. Is promising to change not evidence of the motivation to change?
Some people lie about their intentions or don't plan to change as quickly as expected, absolutely. But to assume everyone who has promised to change won't feels unfair.
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Can they change? Yes.
Do they change? Not often.
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Only if they want to.
And that is a HUGE if. Most people after their formal education decide to stop learning. And learning is the most important form of change.
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Theres a few types of changes that can happen to people.
1: Change hammered in by the vicissitudes of time.
This is stuff like getting used to your dead end job because it's comfy.
2: Change foisted upon you by happenstance.
This is stuff like becoming a parent or suffering a life changing medical emergency.
3: Reactive change caused by inner turmoil.
This is the kind of change that happens during a midlife crises or by an sudden inspiration that must be acted upon immediately or it loses its potency.
4: Intentional change by measured reason.
This is the kind of change people typically think of when they say people can't change. It's the hard kind of change and is rarely done in one's life and even when it is done it's the kind of windmill you can waste your whole life tilting at without ever slaying a single giant.
Anyone can change the shape of their soul if they recognize its current shape and start making changes to it.
Changing for the better is the real task.
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Yes, have you never changed?
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I have, in small ways. I think it's less about changing but more about opening up though. I'm not sure my value system ever changed but it has been challenged again and again with new ideas and things I never knew to consider.
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People can change if they're willing to put in the effort to do so.
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It depends and I judge based on what a person has done.
Can a murderer change? Well, they've taken a life or maybe numerous lives so I place them on the irreversible pile. Those who can't change because let's say, they might've had multiple chances to change prior to murdering and they blew them all.
Can an addict change? Possibly, if they haven't gone far deep into the addiction. There will always be some kind of change opportunity for them and they haven't done irreparable damage yet.
You have to evaluate people by levels and where their stances are in life.
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Aren't all our cells replaced every seven years? So apart from inner change, depending on your view on Theseus' Ship, you literally are a completely different person from seven years ago.
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If they're replaced why am I so much uglier
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They can for sure.
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Look into Neuroplasticity.
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I'm an old guy. I started my life as a right-wing Conservative Christian. I'm now. Both an atheist and an anarchist. So yes people change. My journey has been six decades long.
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That's a crazy journey. Would you say the values you held, when you were a christian, were bad? Or that your values changed?
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I have espoused views in my life I'm not proud of, but I think the same can be said of anyone.
Part of my journey was a search for intellectual consistency. Their are people of faith who are able to do that, I am not one of them. When it comes to politics, there are two contemporary thinkers (Ken White and Radley Balko) who forced me to re-evaluate my beliefs.
I believe there are many Conservative thinkers who hold their positions in good faith. Sometimes they are even correct! I believe there are also many Liberal thinkers who hold their positions in good faith, sometimes they are right also.
So to answer your question, I don't think my values were bad, some of my thinking about how to implement those values definitely was though.
As with most people we morph over time.
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Depends.
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It's a good idea to change those periodically.
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I have no doubt it can be done. I've seen something along these lines for myself. Many people have begun their life with destructive ideas only to realize what was wrong and shake that off themselves, which one might say is natural as the seekers of insight we are. I'd be lying to say this didn't describe me in a few ways, having thought in a more generalized, unthinking way in the past. Given enough time, it's hard to imagine that not all of us would become Uncle Iroh.
We are given a glimpse of this in history; we see the likes of Hirohito going from warlike to a pacifist, General Butt Naked converting from a genocidal warlord to a preacher, Dr. Seuss once being Japanophobic before making amends, the great Confucius himself becoming who he was after being disillusioned with his position of power, and if you are of my religious group, God himself.
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If you are asking if a racist can become less racist, yes, but only if they spend time around people of other races often (and is willing to be open minded)
I'll tell you that, if I didn't immigrate to the US, and I was in China, I'd probably be very xenophobia against non-Chinese people, due to the lack of exposure to other people.
So in this timeline, I'm a Social Democrat that is accepting of LGBT+ people and people of other races.
In the other timeline, the one in which I did not immigrate to the US, who knows, maybe I'd be some Han-Supremacist Chinese-Nationalist?
When I think about stuff like the multiverse and stuff, its kinda unsettlling how different the diverging timelines could be.
I mean, there are probably "racist" versions of yourselves in another timeline, just saying. 👀
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nope you're predetermined to be exactly as you were when you were born
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Intentionally as in "X parts of my personality are pushing people away so I should work on that"? Yea in general, but it's not easy, it requires serious effort and motivation from within.
Over time and just leaving it to fate on if those changes are good or bad? Also yes, but without putting in the effort to control it who knows where it'll end up. Like if someone is "an angry person" in their 20s maybe they'll chill out in their 40s...or get worse
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Yep, but they have to want it and work at it for positive results in many cases. Negative change can happen pretty easily through unwelcome events. That's my overly simplistic answer.
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Yep. I've changed.
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I have certainly changed over the years. The change can be attributed partially to growing as a person over the years, and partially to major, life-altering events.
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sometimes
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I mean, I feel like their opinions and political beliefs can change. As for their personality and character flaws, I'm not so sure honestly
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Some things, people cannot change, except by getting worse. Someone who is suffering from dementia, certain personality disorders, etc., may learn techniques to cope and even thrive, but there's nothing that can restore lost brain function, or undo childhood developmental issues that fundamentally affect the brain.
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I’m worried the baby thinks people can’t change
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Glass house, white Ferrari, live for New Year's Eve, sloppy steaks at Truffoni's. Big, rare cut of meat with water dumped all over it, water splashing around the table? Makes the night *so* much more fun. After the club, go to Truffoni's for sloppy steaks. They'd say, 'No sloppy steaks,' but they can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water! Before you knew it, we were dumping that water on those steaks. The waiters were coming to try and snatch 'em up; we had to eat as fast as we could. Oh, I miss those nights; I *was* a piece of shit though!
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They can.
When it comes from people changing from being dickheads, I think it can take some people rock bottom, or being confronted by a chad who they perceive as worthy of respect to change to change them.
My mom is/was a racist Trumper, until my chad uncle confronted her and told her she was being a dick. He told her that he wouldn't continue to talk to her if she didn't change.
She did take heed and ended up not voting for Trump in 2024.
Most people who are like my mom won't listen to somebody like me. She sees me as not worth listening to because I'm not a man.
And this is why I think only a recovered narcissist male who has seen this happen in real time (and who is also a chad) will probably be successful as an opponent against Trump.
Where are all the real men like this though?
