are the following common in untreated npd/cluster b?
are the following common in untreated npd/cluster b?
i know that everyone with cluster b personality disorders are different and obviously not everyone with cluster b/npd is abusive/a bully. this person just happened to be abusive with untreated npd.
she clearly needs help, and happens to have anger issues as well, taking her anger out on most everyone.
often she tried to isolate me from other people, since “no one understands you like i do, people actually hate you for your disability and see you as an animal. i know best and i know what they really think.”
she also seems to adhere to rules and gets mad when people don’t strictly follow them.
she expects people be identical to her and strictly fit into her mold, and constantly excludes people like me but then acts sweet when she needs something again.
she genuinely lacks empathy and doesn’t care about social rights for minorities nor animal rights, and seems to view other people as tools to help HER gain success, everyone else be damned. (she can have basic empathy, such as “oh I’m sorry that happened”, or care about social rights when it makes her look good.)
if, for example, someone doesn’t let her win a sort of game, she will call them some sort of insult or slur. she called my black friend the n word for not letting her cheat in a game and also not going easy on her to let her win.
she also is convinced everyone’s out to get her, that everyone is cheating if they win, that no one is better than she is, or that people are deliberately attacking her for not letting her win/not interacting with her.
she cannot take accountability, and thinks that everything bad happening to her is undeserved, as she is “the best”.
i’m sorry if i sound mean. i acknowledge that not everyone with a cluster b personality disorder is like this as i said, i just know she is and seems to show traits of an untreated cluster b personality disorder from what i’ve heard of, and have specifically been told it SOUNDS like npd (untreated).
i’m also a little upset/done because she’s been treating me and others badly for years 😓
You can't "treat" cluster B personality (for what I know).
Stay away, it's the only thing you can do.
Eh... I don't think it's anywhere near as black and white as "you can't treat cluster B personality disorders." I don't think they're even really less treatable than non-cluster-B personality disorders. A desire/willingness to change, a good and compatible therapist, a good support network, etc are all things that can help the treatment process. I doubt any personality disorder can be "cured" or eliminated, but that's much different than "treated."
Of course, OP shouldn't be trying to "treat" anyone for PDs unless she's well qualified and the person she's treating is a patient of hers, but it didn't sound like that's anything OP was suggesting.
So, very casually off the top of my head, yes that description sounds pretty consistent with NPD, though it's surprising the extent to which completely unrelated disorders can present in ways that seem similar to some other disorder. Mental health workers can work for a very long time with a person before figuring out that all along they had something completely different than anyone might have suspected. So I definitely wouldn't want to stick my neck out so far as to diagnose anyone based on your account here.
i acknowledge that not everyone with a cluster b personality disorder is like this as i said
Yes, that's definitely true. I wouldn't say the ones who are like this "deserve" love any less than those who aren't. I've had periods in my life when I've struggled a lot with anger toward individuals I suspected of having cluster b personality disorders. And I can't deny that I probably projected that anger onto people who didn't deserve it. (What the hell is "deserving" anyway? It's not like "deserving" is some real thing out there that existed before people came up with the idea. Anyway, tangent.) I've found compassion even for those individuals who have mistreated me by realizing they didn't get this way on purpose or in a vacuum -- they suffer from a disorder for a reason, even if I may not know what that reason might be.
(Side note: while I don't have a diagnosis, I do believe I suffer from at least one personality disorder. Specifically Schizoid Personality Disorder. Not a cluster b personality disorder, but I at least feel like I know what it's like to have the sort of warped perceptions due to childhood trauma that can lead to social behaviors that I mostly can't control.)
i’m also a little upset/done because she’s been treating me and others badly for years 😓
That's valid. While it's true that sufferers of personality disorders including sufferers of cluster b personality disorders experience grave hardships themselves by virtue of their unique struggles, and while they're not less deserving of love or relationship, protecting your own mental wellbeing is important as well and it's not your responsibility to ensure their needs are met, especially if that would involve subjecting yourself (or your friends!) to abuse. If you feel that relationship makes more hardship for you than benefit, don't feel bad about leaving it behind. (But then again, ghosting people is a pretty schizoid sort of impulse. Maybe my advice shouldn't be trusted 100%. Lol.)