THIRTY-NINE QUESTIONS FOR CHARLIE DANIELS UPON HEARING “THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA” FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWENTY-FIVE YEARS
by JOHN MOE
1. The Devil won that fiddling contest, right?
2. Because isn’t that totally amazing fiddle feedback thing the Devil plays (which sounds like Hendrix gone bluegrass) a hundred times better than that high-school-band piece-of-crap tune Johnny plays?
3. I mean, come on, right?
4. And since the Devil is so clearly better, why does he lay the golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny’s feet?
5. What kind of one-sided bet was that anyway, your eternal soul for a fiddle?
6. Shouldn’t it have been something like Johnny’s soul or the eradication of Evil?
7. Or maybe a golden fiddle against some object Johnny placed great value upon?
8. If the Devil went down to Georgia ’cause he was looking for a soul to steal, why does he arrange what appears to be an honest competition?
9. Was there actually some hidden theft or scam going on here on the part of the Devil?
10. Then why not explain that, Mr. Daniels?
11. And who was judging that contest?
12. Was it an honor system kind of thing?
13. With the Devil?
14. Honor system with the Devil. How did Johnny get sucked into that one?
15. Does Johnny suffer from some—I’m trying to be delicate here—cognitive disabilities?
16. Was there some sort of arbitration board in place in the event that the outcome was not obvious?
17. If so, who served on this board?
18. It wasn’t the demons, was it?
19. ‘Cause even though they’re the only characters in the song, they’re kind of biased since they’re in the Devil’s band and they’re demons, right?
20. So why—why—does the Devil take the dive and throw the contest?!
21. I mean, the Devil can’t be hurting for cash. How much is it going to cost him to buy a new golden fiddle?
22. I’m thinking maybe $18,000. Does that sound right to you?
23. If you’re Johnny, what do you even want with a golden fiddle?
24. Doesn’t the metallic surface of a golden fiddle create an unpalatably tinny sound as opposed to the nice resonant sound on a wooden instrument?
25. Does he think he’s going to display it in his home and tell people the story of how he beat the Devil?
26. Who’s going to believe that?
27. Or does he try to sell the fiddle?
28. If so, how does he go about getting something like that appraised?
29. Or does he just melt it all down for the gold?
30. That sounds awfully hard, don’t you think?
31. And is Johnny haunted by the question of why the Devil let him win like that?
32. Was there some catch in the contest that Johnny wasn’t aware of where the Devil really does get his soul anyway and Johnny didn’t notice it because he’s not all that smart?
33. And even if he didn’t get Johnny’s soul, what is Johnny going to say to God in heaven when he has to explain that he bet his soul, the essence of life, God’s one true gift, on a fiddle contest?
34. Johnny knows deep down that he’s not really the best that’s ever been and that’s the source of his insecure boasting, right?
35. Was it really necessary or wise to invite the Devil to come on back if he ever wants to try again?
36. ’Cause what does Johnny need, a second golden fiddle?
37. Or maybe a golden viola the next time?
38. Why would the Devil need an invitation?
39. Are you implying, Mr. Daniels, that Johnny actually wants to get hustled?
The devil is declared the loser by the omniscient narrator, so what are the implications there?
DO NOT melt your golden fiddles down for scrap metal, if you're looking to make the most on them. You're going to lose a huge amount of the value. And if you plan to do it at home, the requirements are pretty intense.
The devil got Johnny to fall for the vice of pride.
I'm surprised how often people seem to miss that point that Johnny lost the moment he took the bet.
The deadly sin of Pride is some made up bullcrap. Pride is as much a virtue as it is a vice.
The "deadly sin" of pride is arrogance, haughtiness, thinking of yourself as more important than others. It's not, like, being satisfied in your identity or accomplishments; that's contentment and it's definitely a virtue.
1,600 years of translation and linguistic drift (and probably not a little bit of puritanical nonsense) crossed some wires.
Also all of the "deadly sins" are made up bullcrap. Some of them are in the Bible, but some of them are just, like....some guy's opinion. Seriously, sadness was one at one point, so clearly he had never read the book of Lamentations.
But then again, did you really expect the devil to play fairly?
Yes. Because he was cast out for wanting equality
Damn, I mean I logically know this but never thought of it that way.
I like it and am going to use this a lot more.
Thanks fiend! I mean friend!
I mean, it’s a fiddle playing competition. I still don’t see how an accompaniment would improve your score in a fiddle playing competition. Why didnt he cheat better?
because he already "won"
Well yeah, Devils are Lawful Evil, while Demons are Chaotic Evil.
Of course then we have to ask why a band of demons would join in with a devil, when they are on opposite sides of the eternal Blood War.
I expected him to cheat openly, by like just blackmailing and incredible violence.
But did he lose? He tricked Johnny into a deal for his soul using both greed and pride. I’d say the devil won alright.
I'm not a christian so maybe I'm not getting it, but the deal is very clear fiddle vs soul. The devil even if he threw the contest still lost, johnny keeps his soul and gets a physically valuable but musically useless fiddle...
There are 7 deadly sins: pride, greed, wrath, sloth, gluttony, lust and envy.
The pride happens when Johnny tells the devil that he’s the best that’s ever been. The greed is playing for a fiddle of gold. Even Johnny acknowledges that when he says, “It might be a sin but I’ll take your bet…”
So the devil lost the fiddle contest, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t win Johnny’s soul. It’ll just take a little longer; what’s time for someone immortal like the devil?
The devil is a trickster that will do whatever he can to get you to sin against God. And he did go to Georgia to steal a soul, after all.
I used to think like this, but then I discovered the sequel song which would be utterly unnecessary if the devil actually won the first time. Technically the song is by a different artist, but Charlie Daniels played on the track and I'm going to count that as canon.
It's been ten long years since the devil laid his fiddle at Johnny's feet
And it burned inside his mind the way he suffered that defeat
Johnny won. The bet was he gets the golden fiddle or loses his soul. He got the fiddle.
If you meant the fact he did a deal in the first place, yeah, not a good look.
Sins are forgivable in many religions.
I don't think that performing as part of a band is against the spirit of the competition, as long as the devil is still being judged according to his individual contribution. Or would you require him to perform a capella if he was in a singing competition?
And anyway, the devil went before Johnny - if Johnny objected or wanted his own accompaniment, he could have said so.
Thank you. I'm on team devil for this one.
"Devil, just come on back if you ever wanna try again.
I done told you once, you son of a removed, I'm the best there's ever been"
Been seeing so many Musk posts these days, even the meme lady is starting to look like him.
I'm sorry that's happening to you.
Here's a picture of a ramming trireme to cleanse your palette:
The Devil did that season 1 of South Park shit where he was the only one to bet against himself and returned to Hell a much richer Prince of Darkness.
