You've just crossed over into...

You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter The Scary Door.

Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a [indecipherable], but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.
Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.
- "Nooooooooo!"
  
  (sips beer) Ahh!
Did you do this from memory? I want you to have done this from memory. You will be as a god!
I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all!
- Turns out it's mankind

Took me a second. Can relate.

"Where do you want to eat?" "Anywhere is fine with me. You pick." "How about burgers." "No, I don't want burgers tonight." "How about..." "No. Not there." "Okay, you choose." "I don't want to choose."

Not sure what went wrong or right in my marriage but I can't relate to these common tropes at all. Maybe it's a difference in culture (I'm not from the US), but my wife and I both actively work to find a consensus in any decision no matter how small.
- You're probably not in the boomer generation:
  
  They have this 'I hate my wife' trope in their humor for some reason.
- Yeah I’ve never really understood the “my SPOUSE am I right?” bits. That’s your spouse. You ought to…work on that.
- You married a man. /s
  
  In all seriousness. I have a happy marriage. We're awesome at communication and never argue. But things get indescivie during take out. It just happens.
- Exactly this. My wife and I work together, like the adults we are. Just be honest with each other.
After my wife heard a similar complain and we guessed that what they want is us being able to figure out their taste and preference, she now says: "CHOOSE MERE MORTAL YOUR FATE, know my heart's desire wisely or perish"

Or something along those lines. She's a Ghostbuster's fan if you can tell.
- I wanna marry your wife.
I gave up playing this game.

"You hungry?
'Yes.'
"What do you want?"
'I don't know.'
"OK I'm craving burgers from X place. I'll order two burgers in 30 minutes unless you tell me you want something else."

So far it's working well. Either she orders from where I want or somewhere close by.

'I'm feeling Chinese.' Baby you can get whatever you want. I'll hit two spots or switch my order.
I’ve allayed liked that the idea that if you say no to a suggestion in this situation, it is now your turn to suggest something.
It took a couple years to get my wife to be more assertive about this stuff. I'd just keep picking places I knew she hated until she'd make a decision.

Just the other day she turned it around on me. Asked me which of two options I wanted, I said whichever she feels like and she came back with, "No, I want to know what you want." So I laughed and gave her my preference.
My wife and I always give each other 2-3 options and take turns narrowing it down. Same with movies: We start out with our Trakt list and take turns narrowing it down until we get something we both want to watch.
Sounds like my wife.

I thought for sure this was a sex joke.

It doesn't have to not be.

I've heard that the trick is to make it a guessing game.

We're going to eat out tonight, but it's a surprise. Guess!

Don't always go with the first option, keep it random between options

You devious genius.
I hate this game, because I always try to pick their favorites lol. If they want something new, I have no idea, and we both end up upset
- Oh I know a trick for that one too! Create some kind of pattern to the eating out that includes alternating on deciding a new restaurant without any input. This one works great if you do it intermittently along with the usuals with consensus

I hopped up and I said

"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?"

She's like "Why would I want to eat liver?

I don't even like liver!"

I'm like "No, I said 'delivered.'"

She's like "I heard you say 'liver!'"

I'm like "I should know what I said."

She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

And I can hear his voice / the song while reading this

Wife bad

Why?
- Saying “[thing] bad” on the internet is a way to ironically point out lazy boomer humor that relies on putting a particular group of people down in an unjustifiable way.

My wife sent me this unbidden

Meanwhile i'm double-digit hours away from WDW

    (Oh no!)   
She's gonna rock  
      down   
       to  
*ELECTRIC AVENUE*

Great now I gotta go listen to that song again.

Not that I'm complaining but it's in my head now.

These two remind me of AJ and Miranda from the now defunct User Friendly webcomic. On the plus side, it would mean that AJ got his act together enough to be in a relationship with Miranda, but either she's found a new favourite restaurant all of a sudden or he's goofed something up and this is a subtle way of messing with him as revenge.

Is the joke that he is smoking crack and hallucinating a world where the always stressful question “what dinner?” Is actually easily decided on?

No, the joke is that it’s The Twilight Zone.
- I have never seen the twilight zone but the joke is on the people who downvote me cause “the twilight zone” is exactly the term i would use to describe the limbo feeling between “knowing i will require sustenance soon” and “knowing whats for dinner”
More or less. The man who appears in front of them is the narrator of "The Twilight Zone", who frequently appears to explain that the events of moments earlier are happening in an alternate, impossible, universe.

Guys, let me explain this weirdness. The woman usually expects you to lead, make the decision. You don't ask, you tell.

"I know! Let's go to $restaurant!"

Here's the part where you're expected to have a modicum of social skills, be able to tell if she likes the idea.

No? State another option. Don't ask, state.

"Not liking that? OK, we'll got to $restaurant2."

Rinse and repeat.

Relationships require social skills, sorry guys, it's true.

You’ve lost me. Why wouldn’t I ask my partner what she feels like? Is asking questions not a part of social skills?
- Everyone hates on the guy, but he's right. An average heterosexual relationship is between an overly sure person and a follower. There's some hormonal explanation to it, I believe.
  
  By observing perfectly normal happy heterosexual partnerships you'll see exactly that dynamic. One person mostly decides, the other mostly accepts. And they're both happy.
  
  I had the luxury of asking some fairly smart and self-aware women why they behave like that with me, instead of trying to have an equal relationship, and their answer was that they simply like it that way. They like the comfort of things being taken care of and decided swiftly and confidently. And regularly their partner would do just that. They thought it was absolutely fine and actually pretty attractive.
  
  Lemmy is a queer/progressive echo chamber, so the 95% of the population reality seems wrong and someone expressing its normality without over-explaining gets downvoted. Like the guy you were replying to. But in fact, it's a solid dating advice for the majority out there.
Nah, you're just in a relationship with an immature person.
PHP developer detected, fire the missiles
Wow! A real alpha male!
Yeesh. I like talking with my partners, not to.
My gf would get real pissed, real fast if I acted like this and I love her for it.
See, this is why I like my relationships 50-50. We both agree on something and each one pays their own food and we're back at the house bumping uglies. Done.
Where do we find these $resturants?
- GET /Restaurants
Well, no. What happens with us is that either one of us says "want to go to X restaurant?" Far enough ahead of time that the other person hasn't got some set idea of what they want this evening . So 90% of the time we just get "sure, thanks, yes". And maybe 10% of the time a "no, but could we go to Y?". Or a "No, I need to cook the chicken or it will go bad" And it's literally never gone farther than that.

If my husband did what you are describing above I would be confused. Like if he said "we will go to $restaurant" like that I would assume he had a desperate craving for it and would say yes, as it would be uncharacteristic. But if it kept happening I would ask him WTF?