3d ago

Broccoli, cheese, and MILFs

169 comments

I sympathize with the bottom part so much. My parents absolutely refused to cook anything ever and bought the worst, most unhealthy prepackaged foods from the grocery stores. I spent the first years of my life thinking that things like apples just weren't sold at my local Kroger because we never had them. I felt like shit mentally and physically for pretty much the first 18 years of my life because of it.
I grew up, moved out, and holy shit I love eating "rabbit food," as my dad used to call it and I never would have learned before is that cooking is fun
- Did you to wish you could fuck your friends mom‽
  
  Yes but that was irrelevant because she never cooked for me, she was just hot. Still is, in fact.
  We always joke that he has a Wine Mom. He thinks that we're calling her a drunk. It means that she gets better with age.
  
  We all did. The hot moms anyway. The big milfy moms, I just wanted them to make me some food.
  
  Love the interrobang.
- I feel you. I weirdly did have vegetables and things growing up, but my mom self admittedly hates cooking. So most of what we ate consisted of casseroles made up of things dumped out of a can and any veggies likely also came from a can and we're heated up on the stove. She also over cooked all the meat to make sure people wouldn't get sick. So all the veggies were bland and mushy and all the meat was dry as fuck. I'll never forget the first time I ate fresh pineapple at my inlaws house and it was one of the best things I ever tasted. I'm pretty good at cooking now and I've managed to help my mom improve in all ways as well. She now uses a meat thermometer that I got her for Christmas. I cooked her some fresh broccoli in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and she loved it and started making hers that way instead of boiling it. Baby steps, but we're making progress.
- Rabbit food? What the fuck
  
  Some dudes live their whole lives afraid their balls will fall off and roll away if they eat anything but brown meat.
  
  In the 90s people started suggesting eating veggies occasionally and the American populace reacted predictably, i.e. as if someone were threatening to literally emasculate them.
  Kind of like the modern anti-vax/anti-mask freaks.
  
  I've heard it be said from many men that I knew growing up that the more processed food is, the better, because it kills all the germs that come out of the ground. I've not seen that man eat anything green that wasn't on top of a fast food cheeseburger in all my years alive.

broccoli is like anal sex… if you’re forced to have it as a kid, you’re not gonna like it as an adult
- This is awful lolol
- This is a relatable comparison
  
  I guess I should be happy I like broccoli. Here I always thought people just didn't care for the smell, like brussel sprouts and anal apparently
- Holy shit
- This checks out but dude you need Charter.

The "kids don't like broccoli" has a scientific reason. Kids have a lot more receptors for aromas tasting bitter (10 to 15k different chemical compounds taste bitter to them) which reduce to 5k or less when growing up. So some types of food that adults can eat without problems because they lack the receptors have bitter and vile flavours for kids.
- Plant breeders have also been busy reducing bitterness/tannins in various vegetables like brussel sprouts and canola oil, so things are in fact less bitter than 30 years ago.
  
  Any word on if this impacts nutrition?
  
  Brussels Sprouts are another one... I don't think I had properly cooked Brussels sprouts until I was in my mid-to-late-20s, and they've become one of my favorite vegetables. They're so fucking good dude.
- Doesn't help a lot of people used to just boil broccoli without seasoning. Doesn't do the flavor any favors.
  
  My stepmother was that way so I couldn't stand broccoli growing up. Most vegetables were blan and tasteless without salt and boiled.
  I rarely buy them now because I can't physically handle cooking every day now. So most vegetables go bad in the fridge.
- That's interesting. Do you have any sources on this phenomenon?
  
  This one, for example: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4654709/
  Or this one: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22197939/
  Originally, I had read a cluster of those articles some years ago, but scientific articles like to hide behind paywalls nowadays.
  And at old age, it ends like this: https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2017/05/05/526750174/why-taste-buds-dull-as-we-age
  
  his source is that he made it the fuck up!
  _{*(MGR:R joke)*}
- I always assumed this is also why adults love disgusting cheese (I do to a degree as well nowadays). We just lost our sense of taste and call it refined taste.
  
  The "losing taste" is actually a beneficial thing. Most things that kids don't like are either risky (e.g. coffee) or difficult to digest (all kinds of cabbage), so it is good that kids don't like them. For adults being able to expand acceess to available foods helps feeding the horde in difficult times.

Broccoli is so good it makes me horny too. I fucking love broccoli.
- But, do you love fucking broccoli?
  
  What happens at the farmers market stays at the farmers market
  
  It was, "I, fucking, love broccoli."

Fun fact: Brocollis is the 'veg kids don't like' in Amercia mostly. Pixar even edited scenes in 'Inside Out' where a dad feeds his daughter broccoli, turing it into bell peppers for the asian market:
https://www.businessinsider.com/why-inside-out-has-different-scenes-in-other-countries-2015-7?op=1
- Broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans we (brother and I) were always fine with as kids. It was the asparagus and spinach I never cared for as a kid. Turned out it wasn't the spinach's fault, my mother would just buy bags of frozen spinach, put it in a microwave safe container and turn it on. So if tasted bad. As I learned to cook I started to like it as I actually used it in other ways. Asparagus though... I rarely give a chance, and usually if I do I'm frying it in bacon grease which defeats the purpose of eating a vegetable I feel.
  
  I only like raw asparagus. If it is cooked, it tastes nasty as hell
  
  Both my kids favorite veggie was broccoli when they were small. I'd prepare it the way you'd get it in an Italian restaurant - small parts of it just bleached for a short time, so it stays firm, served with nice olive oil and salt. (And a bit of lemon, if I have it on hand)
  Broccoli (like so many veggies) tastes awful when overcooked into a soft and mushy consistency (and then it also changes its taste in a bad way).
  Here in Germany grandmas typically are amazing cooks, with the sole exception when they cooked veggies. That generation loved their vegs really soft and overcooked.
- This shows some really nice attention to detail.

Fun Fact, if broccoli kinda tastes like soap to you, congratulations! You have a gene variation that makes certain bitter flavors taste like soap, it's stronger in childhood (which is potentially why "Kids hate broccoli" trope is a thing) and tends to fade into adulthood, but not always.
There are also studies being done to figure out specifically which compounds in broccoli make it taste like that to cultivate it out to encourage more broccoli consumption
- Glad to see some scientific stuff under a "I would fuck his mom for serving broccoli" content.
- Are you saying that I might stop hating coriander when I retire? But I really like broccoli, so maybe it's a different kind of soap gene...
- I hate having this gene variant, so many things taste bad. People judge you, it's hard to order at restaurants, etc.

Broccoli tossed in olive oil, cooked in an air fryer until crispy and then sprinkled with course salt. Delicious 👌🏼
- So going to try that!
  My recent go to ( not broccoli though) is toss some fresh spinach in a pan with oil and hit it with lemon pepper seasoning and a little lemon juice.
  Takes like 5 including prep if you don't mind the stalks.
  
  Do people not like spinach stalks? It's like my favorite part... adds a tiny bit of crunch/texture.
  
  Your recipe sounds really good as well. I'll definitely give it a try
- You forgot garlic. Copious amounts of garlic at every step.
- I thought broccoli only got softer when cooked. Does this work if you don't have an air fryer and you fry it in a pan?
  Now I'm wondering what would it would taste like to marinade broccoli in butter and garlic then took them out and put them in a dehydrator to make them into chips
  
  Just cut into bite size pieces, toss it in oil, salt and pepper it, put it on a baking sheet and roast at 425 for around 20 minutes. Don’t fry it in a pan. It will be delicious
  
  Air fryers are just convection ovens. Its baking it.

Broccoli and cheese is awesome. Other preparations like steamed are not as delicious, but ymmv.
- Steamed broccoli + garlic salt, just dont overdo the brocc until it's mushy
  
  I think that's where the reputation comes from. Overcooked broccoli is inedible, and I know people who refuse to leave any bite to it at all, which seems insane.
  I feel like crunchy, fresh broccoli is a relatively new trend. I found out about it on my own, at my place as a kid it always looked like green boogers and tasted the way you imagine that would.
- Steamed broccoli with a little soy sauce & Sriracha is one of my absolute favorite snacks. Cauliflower, too. I'm gonna go make some.
- Steamed is my default method of cooking broccoli.
  I cut the stalk up for soup and pasta. Then I lightly steam the florets and I like it.
- In almost all cases, I frankly detest steamed vegetables. Probably due to my grandmother steaming the absolute piss out of ANY vegetable when we visited. My mother didn’t overcook them nearly as bad, but to this day I just don’t enjoy the flavor of any vegetable steamed nearly as much as I do roasted in the oven. High heat + short time + delicious, crisp, lightly charred goodness
  
  It wasn't just your family.

well that escalated quickly
- You never wanted to fuck your friend's mom?
  
  I mean... yeah. But after you hit thirty and you can have all the milfs you want. It's free moms.

Well, german but Broccoli and cauliflower with breadcrumbs and butter. Grandma always made this, which is why i liked it as a kid.

Many years ago my kids pediatrician recommended feeding the kids kale smoothies. I didn't have any Kale at home so I cooked bunch of broccoli to mush and mixed it with bananas. Those kids eat half a pound of broccoli for breakfast just about every day now. They also eat it raw or crunchy cooked. Definitely the best medical advice I've ever gotten and the kids are used to a very simple and quick to make breakfast that keeps them full for hours.
Tldr: Kids constantly surprise me and sometimes they like vegetables.
- In what way is „kale smoothies“ a medical advice and why would you designate it as the best, if you didn't even follow it and used different vegetables?
  This comment is so over the top weird, I feel like I missed the joke here.
  
  It's medical advice because it came from a doctor in a professional setting when we were discussing how to get more iron in their diets since we don't eat many fortified foods. Kale and broccoli are close enough nutritionally to be swapped if one is just looking for the vitamins and minerals. Lastly, It the longest I've ever continuously followed a recommendation and it has made my life way easier. That makes it the best advice I've gotten.
  
  It reads like a 1 star recipe review

Broccoli rules, one of my favorite veggies, along with carrots and fresh green beans.
- Throw asparagus in there and I’m in.

Broccoli is like green tofu. It tastes like whatever you cook it in. There is perhaps no other food which has more surface area for holding sauce or seasoning.
- Cauliflower
  
  Yeah I was going to say this. Cauliflower is like the "plain" version of broccoli lol
- Mandelbrotcolli
- Broccoli in Thai curry is the way! So good!
  
  To be fair, everything is good in Thai curry.
- That's my favourite thing about broccoli - I take a bite from the bushy part and get an explosion of flavor

Had me in the first half, not gonna lie

vegetables in general and tasting bad is moreso lack of preparation/cooking rather than the actual thing itself most of the time. Brusselsprouts is the polarizing one where its seen the most.
- It's because traditionally bitter vegetables have been selectively bred to taste better. The brussel sprouts and broccoli your parents had were very different than what we have today.
  
  Honestly I'm still pretty skeptical of this factoid. The Brussel sprouts now taste pretty similar to the ones I had in the 80s and 90s when cooked the same way. The whole "Brussel sprouts taste new" feels like some industry marketing to me.
  
  Maybe, but brussel sprouts still taste like shit.
  Broccoli is and always has been really good, if cooked correctly.
- Brussel sprouts are so easy to make good as well, just put them in the oven at like 400 with some oil and a bit of salt

I hated broccoli as a kid and I still hate it as an adult. It tastes the way farts smell. 🤮
- If you ever feel like giving it another go, try roasting it up with the florets coated in some olive oil, crushed garlic, salt, pepper and a bit of smoky paprika if you've got it around
  I guarantee it'll at least be the best version you've had
  
  Found my dinner tonight. Thanks!
- Sounds like it’s overripe.
  You want tight purple tinged buds, not loose yellowing ones.

My theory on this is that some of the hate for a lot of vegetables comes from either eating canned ones or poorly cooked ones. My girlfriend didn't know she liked green beans until she started living with my family and my father made her some. My dad sautéed the in butter with garlic, and she only had ever had those extremely mushy canned ones and had concluded on that basis she hated green beans.

Nice to read about a person that so appreciated the kindness of another that they were willing to extend a kindness to them

Same for meatloaf
- You can absolutely fuck meatloaf
- You wanted to fuck your friend's meatloaf?

Honestly, I would be suspicious of any kid who doesn't like eating miniature trees.

I too choose this guy's mom.

It's the only cooked vegetable my kids like.
- Have your kids heard the good news of our lord and savior, Brussels sprouts?
- What, no sweet carrots?
  
  Nope

There are just a ton of foods that input in my mouth that immediately make me feel like I'm going to vomit. I really hate it.
- Did you get sick a lot as a kid? Like long term, not just related to food?
  
  I don't think so, no. Why?

https://i.imgur.com/qMTjF4U.gif
- das a dead link for me. just forwards to the main page
  
  wth it still works for me
- 404

Where is the cheese part story

If you are a super taster, broccoli taste like grass smells. At least for me and my daughter. Its so bitter that I threw up one time when I was a kid being forced to eat it. So lets accept that to someone with a lesser/different sense of taste/smell its okay. To those of us who can smell when someone has been in their house five hours after they left it taste completely different. So no thanks I don't want to eat grass.
- Do you think that your special taste buds not liking broccoli are so widespread that they've made not liking broccoli a common cartoon trope?
  
  Special? Its like a disability. I don't know about the like or dislike but I'm pretty sure super tasters are not that common.
- Fellow super taster though it's more like a curse. It also extends to wine, beer, coffee, onions, and numerous other things because my sense of bitter is too strong.
  
  Its definitely a curse. The only positive is I don't eat bad food. I've watched people eat food that had gone bad telling me I was imagining things. I've also smugly handed out some I told you so to people who promptly got sick.
- How do you find out if you are a supertaster? I'm curious because growing up I couldn't stomach any vegetable that was bitter. Broccoli, brussel sprouts, celery, etc. were enough to make me gag just from the flavor. Nowadays, I can cope with the bitterness by focusing on other flavors and textures but I've definitely been in positions where I have a single bite of celery and then can't muster up the courage to eat for a solid hour.
  
  I don't think I've ever been diagnosed other than the fact that I can smell things others can't. I can smell when people are sick. Cancer has a smell. I sometimes I encounter people and don't know what the smell is but know they are sick. I can smell cockroaches in a house. Even if you can't see them I can smell them in the walls. All in all I would choose to have just a regular sense of smell since many perfumes and those damned plug in air freshener just smell like noxious chemicals to me. Its just like walking in a room and someone is screaming. Only I'm the only one there that can hear it. Not fun.

Btw, Broccoli is a superfood.
- Bacon is a superfood
  Raw potatoes are a superfood
  Poppy seeds are a superfood
  Vodka is a superfood
  *because superfood is a meaningless marketing term
  
  To be fair bacon, potatoes and vodka are all top-tier.
  
  Your mom's a superfood

169 comments