Luigi Mangione Sentenced to 25 Years of United Healthcare Coverage
MINNETONKA, Minn — Luigi Mangione, the alleged shooter of former UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, has been sentenced to 25 years of coverage by United Healthcare.…
Now this is an Onion headline.
Right? Solid satire, but just to give credit where it's due, this is from hard-drive.net which is a gaming/tech focused spin-off of a music satire site called The Hard Times. They consistently crack me up so just wanted to take the opportunity to credit them.
if Mr. Mangione had spent more time pulling on his bootstraps and less time feeling sorry for himself and obsessing over his debilitating chronic back pain that UnitedHealthcare refused to cover treatment of – for I’m sure for very good reasons – he might have one day helmed a parasitic corporation of his own. Sadly, he chose another path.”
Love the satire, but one important point: Luigi didn't have UHC insurance. So if he did do this, it wasn't even because of a personal grudge - it was to strike back at a system in general that fucked him over.
Huh. I haven’t seen that factoid before.
It distances the motive from personal vendetta. It provides support to the narrative that he did this for principles, and not revenge.
Looked it up to double check, as it's what I remembered reading.
The New York Police Department told CBS News that there are no indications that Mangione was a UnitedHealthcare customer.
Officials believe Mangione may have targeted the company because of its status as the largest health insurer in the United States.
Ugh... I don't think he deserves the death penalty
Deserve, by what standard? Moral, religious, legal? How do we measure deserve
Oh... It was a joke... Because having united health care as your insurance is basically a death sentence
Cruel and unusual punishment.
how long has trump being prosecuted? Years and years and years....Luigi should run for president, effective immediately so they have to delay the verdicts...
There are plenty of toll evaders, homeless, minorities, and otherwise lesser people whose lives you could have taken, and were that the case I would not feel so inclined to mete out such a harsh sentence but in this instance you leave me no choice but to impose the harshest ruling possible.
Never change, The Onion, never change!
Edit: alright, I assumed it was the Onion based on the community. But sure, it was some other site.
Glorious.
That's Vader-level "I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."
A fate almost worse than death.
hahaha spot on
Meh, letting him off too easily. There's no way he survives 25 years under those conditions.