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Programmer Humor @lemmy.ml

Maven (famous) @lemmy.zip

3w ago

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/27421233

Programmer Humor @programming.dev

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Oh wow, did they maybe search for someone with skills of a "server" and the Indeed algorithm soup got that mixed together with skills in server technologies...?
- Peak AI moment
- Exactly. I've gotten this too, indeed is a joke.
- If only Asimov were around to write a story about a Little Lost AI.
  Sometimes you'll get stuff without any obvious mixup - I'm a chemist and I've gotten emails about forklift jobs....
  
  "We noticed you're good at solutions when things are mixed up - so we'd like to offer you a job in a warehouse."

My local bar is tended by a software engineer. It's only open on Saturday evening cause he does it besides his day job.
But it's great cause he does it for the love of mixing cocktails, and introducing people to great drinks from all around the world.
And he obviously doesn't really need the money, cause when you show an interest, most drinks are on the house.
He uses a pencil, paper and a mechanical calculator to tally up the bill, which I absolutely understand when your career is in IT.
- That sounds like the tits, I should open a bar
  
  Same :o
- He uses a pencil, paper and a mechanical calculator to tally up the bill, which I absolutely understand when your career is in IT.
  When the alternative is either having to search, evaluate, compare, select and configure an application for that purpose that you're never quite happy with, or to scope, design, develop, test, deploy, maintain, eternally find things you wish you'd done better, refactor, realise you're spending your free time on doing more of your job, regret your life choices, resolve to only make this last improvement and then call it good enough, renege on that promise to yourself a week later, burn out, curse that damn app for ruining your hobby...
  ...yeah, using the most trivial low-tech solution possible does look rather sensible.
  
  Yeah the alternative would be to rely on POS software, which must be insanely frustrating to a dev.

One of my friends with a similar list of skills on indeed got an email from them asking him to apply to be a bikini model
- Skills in resumee: LaTeX documentation, Master-Slave communication, C String manipulation
  What kind of "bikini model" were they looking for? 😏
  
  I wouldn't call it a model, more like a "design pattern"
  
  let's not forget GIMP expert
- What was the pay?
  
  barely covered private expenses.
- Well that could be because they saw their photo on resume
  
  wizards monthly

SQL does pair well with getting drunk....
- Itssss fine it's only the dev database I can drop this table
  
  At my first and only job involving SQL, the dev database was also the (only) backup.
  The company was so cheap, only 2 people could log onto the server at a time, yet there were 5 admins that needed access.
  (so they saved a few thousand on licenses, at the expense of half the employees sitting idle at any time, and getting frustrated.
- But don't use JavaScript to add up the bill.
  
  "6 for the beer, 9 for the longdrink, 4.20 for the water.... That's a total of 694.20 please."
  
  Pour a cup of java and write it down in javascript.
- As a SQL deleloper, can cornfirm.

this indeed is humor.
this is indeed humor.
😁
- This humor indeed is.
  Is humor indeed this.
  
  Humour is indeed this.
  Is indeed this humour.

All of my skills are devops or sysadmin related.
It's been a while, but I used to regularly get emails inviting me to apply to be a Wendy's manager. I doubt I would have been good at that.
- Wendy's managers are generally pretty bad at being Wendy's managers.
  Anyone good at the job would never do it for what they're willing to pay.
- Of course not. Sysadmin skills are good for pouring the drinks, not managing the restaurant.
  
  You know, I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered ... But I don't disagree.

For all the memes about programmers quitting and wanting to take up a simple life? Yea, I can see this working out
(Caveat: Life as a bartender is only simple if you don't need to worry about money, like ex-programmers)

They are just getting an early start on possible bartenders for the next round of tech layoffs and outsourcing.

idk sounds fun
- It seems like you tend a bar. How hard could that be?
  
  SELECT
  undefined
  
  'Tequila' AS Ingredient0, 'Lime Juice' AS Ingredient1, 'Cointreau' AS Ingredient2, 'Crushed Ice' AS Ingredient 3
  FROM
  undefined
  
  liquor_cabinet
- This is fully better than "go be a farmer", at least. Not because nobody wants to be a farmer, but because software developers actually grasp what's involved in bartending, and not just a fictional themepark version.

They now he is sick of it and wants to switch career completely.

yeah shit sign me up.

haha this is funny!

46 comments